verbatim

Whadja Say, Sonny?

As much as I despise William Safire's political view, he does know a thing or two about the English language, so I eagerly await his "On Language" column each Sunday in the Times Magazine. This week's topic was "Kiduage," or the newest slang words and expressions, and it made me feel very, very old. Do you know any of these words: crunk, whip, janky, floss, mack, cheddar? Me, neither. Sigh.

"Dubya: The Movie"

Now, this is funny! There are some very clever (bored?) people out there. Via Sweetney.

The Pinnacle of Nerdiness (for Today, Anyhow)

What? You mean you haven't made yourself a 2005 calendar on a pentagon dodecahedron yet? What're you waiting for?

Having 2/3 of It All

You can choose any two of the following:
a) children
b) a clean house
c) mental health

Well, a is a done deal; I find I vacillate between b and c.

Not All Americans Are Stupid!

I keep getting 17 or 18 (some of the questions repeat each time). See how you do!

Heliocentrism? Oh, Go On!

Check out these Disclaimer Stickers for Science Textbooks. One of them is real, of course!

Was Jesus a Big Winner in the Last Election?

If You Read the Gospels, the Religious Right Is Most Often Wrong
by Rick Mercier

If you're a thoughtful, independent-minded person, I'll bet you read the Gospels and wonder: Where in America does this Jesus dwell?

Where in America is the Jesus who sides with the poor and the outcasts? Where in America is the Jesus who disdains those who wear their piousness on their sleeves? Where in America is the the Jesus with the prophetic voice, the radical who dares to tell the powerful what they don't want to hear?

Is he in the pews that fill every Sunday morning with the smug and complacent? Is he in a political party that fights for tax cuts for the rich while neglecting the needs of decent, hard-working Americans? Is he among the "God-and-country" demagogues who push an idolatrous nationalism and who see military service as the supreme form of sacrifice?

Have You Heard the One About the . . . ?

Here's a selection from GQ's Top 100 Jokes:

• A Jewish grandmother is watching her grandchild playing on the beach when a huge wave comes and takes him out to sea. She pleads, "Please, God, save my only grandson. I beg of you, bring him back." And a big wave comes and washes the boy back onto the beach, good as new. She looks up to heaven and says, "He had a hat!" (Myron Cohen)
• I failed my driver’s test. The guy asked me, "What do you do at a red light?" I said, "I don’t know… look around, listen to the radio…"(Bill Braudis).
• Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they'd say "Thank you." That graduated into "Have a nice day." That’s now escalated into "You care care of yourself, now." The other day I paid my check; the waiter said, "Don’t put off that mammogram." (Rita Rudner)
• A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says ‘What the hell was that all about?"
• My grandfather is hard of hearing. He needs to read lips. I don’t mind him reading lips, but he uses one of those yellow highlighters. (Brian Kiley)

Word Count

I'm done. I have found the coolest/nerdiest gadget ever. It lists the 86,800 most common words in the English language, in order. Check out the "conspiracy" and "1970s Name Game" links too, as well as Query Count, which lists the 22,276 most common words queried at Word Count. Guess which well-known f-word comes in at #1?

The Last from Ray

A while back I bought (yes, at Starbucks) Genius Loves Company, a CD of duets between Ray Charles and lots of other stars, from Bonnie Raitt to Elton John to Johnny Mathis. As with any collection of this type, there are highlights and lowlights—for instance, "Crazy Love" with Van Morrisson turned out great; "It Was a Very Good Year" with Willie Nelson is a real dog (and I'm a Willie Nelson fan, so that's not the problem). All in all, it is a worthwhile purchase; there won't be any more new Ray recordings, so pick your favorites here and just enjoy them.

Movies

City of God tells the story of a bunch of kids in the slums of Rio and their life with drugs and street gangs. It was extremely powerful and upsetting and hardly a movie you could say you "enjoy" or even "recommend." I guess I could say I'm somehow "glad" I saw it, although there were certain images I wish I could erase from my brain.

Big Fish was fun and fantastic (meaning fantasy-like, not necessary great), but it didn't really do enough for me. It was easy to forget after it was over. But Billy Crudup is cute! (Wouldn't you have changed your name if you were Billy Crudup and wanted to become famous? Maybe not if you were that cute.) Oh, and Loudon Wainwright was in the movie! I've been meaning to do a separate post about him. Add that to the list.

I wanted to like Croupier more than I did. I love gambling/casino movies, and this one was very sleek and stylish. But something about Clive Owen just didn't work for me. I didn't believe that he was good and honest or that he was a writer. And I just rolled my eyes at the plot machinations leading up to the ridiculous "all loose ends tied up" finish.

The Other Fast Food

I've probably mentioned this before, but of all the "celebrity chefs" (what is this world coming to??), Jacques Pépin stands head and shoulders above the rest. As far as I'm concerned, he is IT. He knows everything there is to know but isn't pretentious about it. I once went to a demo he gave when he was promoting his "Basics" video (and book?), and watching him bone a chicken was awe-inspiring. He makes everything look so simple. I just loved his autobiography, The Apprentice: My Life in the Kitchen. Anyhow, I recently got his new book, Fast Food My Way, and discovered that KQED has put together a scrumptious Web site for it. Very cool videos and other "effects."

Sunday Brunch

Malling

1) Do you enjoy shopping at the mall?
No, I despise it. In fact, I just happened to be composing an anti-mall post when this meme showed up. I avoid the mall at all costs. I do just about all of my shopping online or at stand-alone stores. When I do have to go to the mall, I go to the one or two stores I need and then leave. Nothing could induce me to go to the mall between Thanksgiving and Christmas! In fact, I just discovered free shipping at the Origins web site, so I don't even have to pop over there for a refill on my Night-a-Mins next week. Oh, and guess what? My kids have never set foot in a mall! Or in a Toys-R-Us, for that matter. We'll see how long I can keep that up!

2) What is your favorite mall food?
Blech! I wouldn't know. Oh, wait! At the Mall at Chestnut Hill, where there is thankfully no food court, there is a chocolate store that sells that most decadent dark chocolate truffles. I earn one every time I drag myself to the mall. Yum!

3) What are your three favorite “mall” stores?
I guess Williams Sonoma, Sur La Table, and Crate & Barrel.

4) What is your favorite mall?
I don't really have one. Maybe the Mall at Chestnut Hill just because of the truffles!

5) Do you have one special person that you enjoy going to the mall with the most?
Nancy. She's the only one who somehow makes it seem worthwhile! We went recently to do Gap Kids exchanges. It was, well, fun!

What Husbands Do, by Stephanie

We have a wonderful new evening babysitter, Brooke, who's come twice already. She's 27 and has made it clear that she would very much like to find a guy. She doesn't really know many people around here other than at work, so she babysits to make some cash and occupy her otherwise dull Saturday nights. Anyhow, tonight she brought over some photos of her new cat. When Stephanie saw one of Brooke and the cat together, she said, "Wait—who took this picture if you don't have a husband?!" Poor Brooke!

Catch 33

Here's a fun little game. Hint: You don't need to click on the numbers, just mouse over 'em. I've played four times; my high score so far is 36 seconds.

It's So Hard to Get Good Help These Days

Andy and I went out to dinner tonight to the Tuscan Grill, a restaurant we used to go to quite a bit but hadn't been to in years (for no real reason, just that we don't go out that much anymore). Everything started off fine; we ordered and got our wine and appetizers with no problem. Then we waited for our entrees. And we waited. And we waited some more. It was a ridiculously long time, not just a little bit longer than usual. I tried desperately to make eye contact with our waitress, but she just kept sailing by with her head up. We asked one of the bussers to check on our meal, and she said that the kitchen was extremely backed up. (Duh!) Finally the host, who had walked by a couple of times and noticed our empty table, saw us again and made a bee line for the kitchen. He came right back and told us our entrees would be out in exactly 2 minutes. And they were—he brought them. Our waitress was apparently still too busy for us. Then she committed the final inexcusable sin of not coming by to ask us how our food was within the first few minutes. We finished eating and she reappeared with dessert menus, which we shooed away in favor of the check. I insisted that we give a lousy tip, and I was even considering stiffing her completely. I wanted to have a word with her, but Andy strongly encouraged me to let it go. All I was going to say was something along the lines of this: "It's not your fault when the kitchen is slow, but it is your responsibility. As soon as you noticed that our food was very late, you should have come over and apologized to us for the wait and promised to go check on it. Then you should have gone to check and come back to report to us. Then you should have brought the food and come back promptly to ask us if everything was OK. That's all you need to do, is show that you feel my pain." So, instead, she surely thinks she got a lousy tip just because the kitchen was slow. No one wins.

Quote of the Day

The mantra of the stay-home Mom:

I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble. — Helen Keller

FridayQ

FQ TOPIC: Unthankful.

FQ1: Name one thing you are thankful for that is kind of a silly thing to be thankful about.
I am thankful for "Everything Nice" Creamy Body Souffle from Origins.

FQ2: Name two things other people seem to be thankful for which you are not.
1. Coffee. I'll take a cuppa PG Tips any day!
2. Football season. Feh!

FQ3: Name three things that don't currently exist which you would be thankful for if they did.
1. A cure for Stephanie's colitis.
2. A cure for Julie's vision problems that doesn't involve surgery or glasses.
3. A cure for the common cold. (Sniffle, sniffle, sneeze!)

FQ Thankful: Forget about thanking others, what's something everybody else should be thankful to YOU for?
Keeping most of my opinions to myself! (Yes, it's true—you're just getting the tip of the iceberg here, folks!)

Feeling Thankful

I am thankful for my loving family and our (generally) good health. I am thankful for my comfortable home and caring friends. I am thankful for peace in my corner of the planet.

We spent a lovely Thanksgiving Day surrounded by family and lots of good food. Mom and Dad are headed down to Florida tomorrow, so we said our goodbyes until April.

Stephanie ate a piece of pumpkin bread and 1.5 green beans, followed by a brownie. Pete and Julie ate just the brownie. Sigh. (Speaking of food, if you intend to make the cheese straws I posted last night, please check my update containing a quick tip!)

Andy and I are now both fighting off whatever bug the kids have been passing around for a couple of weeks. I've got the cough and Andy's got the nausea. Phooey.

'Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

...and I had nothing to do. Last year at this time I had already brined, roasted, and carved turkey #1 and was brining #2, in addition to all the fixins! Sob, sob. Ah well, I should just take it easy, as everyone says. And I do indeed feel thankful that Pete and Julie are on the mend. Pete made it to school and even karate today. He and another boy were the only ones at karate—with four senseis! Now that's what I call a good student-teacher ratio. He's going to be able to go for his yellow belt in about three weeks!

Anyhow, back to Thanksgiving. Lauren and I were assigned the hors d'oeuvres (in addition to Grandma's chopped liver, 'natch), so she's doing crudite and dip, and I made two batches of these cheese straws.

Cheese Straws

1/4 lb. (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
1/2 lb. sharp cheddar cheese, shredded
1 1/2 cups flour
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp Worcestershire sauce

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Put the butter and cheese in the container of a food processor. Add the flour, salt, cayenne, and Worcestershire. Cover and blend thoroughly. Add a teaspoon or two of water if needed to hold the dough together.

Wrap the dough in plastic and chill for 30 minutes.

Divide the dough into fourths. Roll out each section between two sheets of wax paper to a 1/8" thickness and cut into 1/2"-wide strips. Twist strips and arrange on two ungreased baking sheets (I used Silpats).

Place the baking sheets in the oven and bake about 15 minutes, or until the straws are crisp and lightly browned. Remove and let cool completely on a wire rack.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention a handy trick to keep in mind any time you're using your food processor. Put a piece of plastic wrap over the bowl of the food processor and then put the top on. Then you don't have to wash the top! This is especially convenient for this recipe, since you need to wrap the dough in plastic wrap immediately anyhow. (This trick obviously doesn't apply when you're using your food processor's feed tube!)

Sick Pete

"Don't worry, Pete! In your next life, you'll get to do the kindergarten Turkey Trot for Thanksgiving!" I mean, what do you tell a kid who's just too sick to go to school? His teacher gamely trotted his turkey around yesterday, but he didn't get to see it. And he stayed home today, too. Phooey. In the early afternoon, he and Julie both had diarrhea (the trots, get it?), so now there's even a chance they'll both be home tomorrow too—and maybe even miss Thanksgiving!

Luckily Steph seems fine. Her Mexico presentation went well, and the Mexican Wedding Cookies were a hit—with the teacher, anyhow, as there's No Sharing Food for the kids at school anymore.

Because God Said So

Fundamentalist Christians believe that homosexuality is a sin because the Bible says so. They believe that the Bible is the actual word of God, and that's that. (We won't debate that premise here.) I'm not terribly familiar with most of the Bible, but I keep reading about how homosexuality is just one of the many no-no's the Bible mentions. I've been wanting to compile a list, but there's already a great one over at A la gauche (which I found via Blog Explosion). Check it out. And the next time you cite the Bible as the reason for your homophobia, ask yourself whether you:

• wear fabric blends
• eat shrimp
• have a tattoo
• oppose slavery
• for the women: wear pants, braid your hear, wear gold or pearls
• for the men: aren't circumcised, wear a hat, have long hair

And that's just for starters.

Oh, and I've also read some compelling essays arguing that there are other ways to interpret that "homosexuality is an abomination" passage in Leviticus anyhow. So just get off it already, and let's start worrying about things that really matter—like death and poverty and starvation and disease and war. How so many Americans can spend so much time and energy worrying about what goes on in other people's bedrooms is just beyond me.

Is This You?

This site features photos found on the ground outside photo booths in the U.K. Reminds me of the delightful movie "Amelie."

41 Years Ago Today

Go see Rox's blog today. I dare you not to get teary-eyed.

Q&A

How long have you had a blog?
Since March.

Why did you become interested in blogging? What do you like about it?
As much as I love my kids, and as grateful as I am that I can stay home with them while they're little, they're not the most intellectually stimulating or creativity-inducing critters around. Aside from my book group and brief chats with other Moms in the schoolyard, I was really feeling a lack of an opportunity to express myself. I love that my blog can be whatever I want it to be.

What do you write about more: yourself or _insert subject here_ ?
Well, I certainly wrote a lot about politics for the last few months. Otherwise, I guess I write mostly about the kids. And cooking. And grammar. And movies. So, what does all that amount to? Me. Yeah.

If your blog has categories, which one do you post in most often?
I don't have the patience for categories, and it would make me crazy to try to put certain posts in pre-selected pigeon holes.

What are 5 of your favorite blogs?
I'm glad this says "5 your favorite" and not "your 5 favorite," because I like a lot of them. Here are some I especially like today:
Woulda Coulda Shoulda
Pesky Apostrophe
Grow-a-Brain
Rox Populi
Three Kid Circus

Do you use an online alias on your blog?
No, not really. I just go by Karen. Which is in fact my name.

Blog entry that has received the most comments:
I think it was Four More Years, with 14 comments.

Tell us how you chose your blog title.
Oh, isn't it just so clever? Well, I'm a word nerd, and this is my chance to put my thoughts down, word for word, they way I want 'em.

How do you feel about Google ads on personal blogs?
I think they clutter things up, but I'm starting not to even notice them anymore. I never click on them.

Does anyone you know in *real life* know about your blog?
Yup. And I am pretty sure that, without exception, all my "real life" blog readers first heard the word blog the day I sent out an e-mail saying I'd started one. Not such a tech-savvy crew, my family and friends!

2 words you use all the time in your posts:
Um, um, um (I will not say laundry I will not say laundry I will not say laundry), lessee, this is tough. Maybe kids? Or cute? I like to think I vary my vocabulary a bit and don't get caught up too much in slang, but maybe I'm wrong. Anyone out there notice any words I (over)use?

Via Steve.

I Still Don't Get It

In yesterday's Times magazine, I learned that Massachusetts has the lowest divorce rate in the country (and Mass. legalized same-sex marriages last spring), while the Bible Belt states have a 50% higher rate of divorce than the national average. And, as we all know, they'll do anything to protect the sanctity of  heterosexual marriage. Um, how can I put this . . . HUH?!

Grammar Hotline

OK, first up is Pam:

Do you write it "seven year-old" or"seven-year old"? I've taken both versions out for some air, but neither one has been called ugly yet. Your thoughts?

It has to be seven-year-old, as in "My seven-year-old has swimming today." The only correct usage for seven year-old would be something like "I have seven year-old kittens meowing in my lap right now—go ahead count 'em!"

Next!

Youse All Talk Purty Good Now

Andy mentioned yesterday that I haven't done a grammar post in a while. He's right. I guess it's only natural that I aired my worst pet peeves all at once when I first started blogging, but surely there are other grammar/usage/syntax issues that still need attention! So, if you have a question, let 'er rip.

P.S. For the record, Andy's favorite post of mine was not about grammar at all. It was this one. (Not surprisingly, it wasn't this one.)

Mexican Wedding Cookies

Julie's had a terrible cold for a few days, and now Pete is starting. I'm hoping he can go to school tomorrow, partly for selfless reasons (he has library tomorrow and it's a stay-day for him, plus it's the annual Turkey Trot, which is the cutest event imaginable) and partly for selfish reasons (I have a million errands to run, not least of which is hitting the 20% off sale at Learning Express—Hanukkah is just 2 weeks away!). He's got the barking-seal cough going, although Stephanie assures me that hers was "a lot badder."

Yesterday I took Steph to "Ramona Quimby" at the Wheelock Family Theater. The rest of the Brownie troop had gone last week while we were at Brian's Bar Mitzvah. She loved it! And today I took her to another Brownie event, where we made Swap-Its, which seem to be little pins that you trade with other Brownies. Between those events and her big research project—oops, I mean Family Fun Learning Quest!—that's due tomorrow, it's been an all Mommy-Steph weekend (which of course implies an all Daddy-Pete-Julie weekend). She had to report on some aspect of Mexico, so she chose (with firm guidance from me) to talk about Mexican wedding traditions. This was just so we could make Mexican Wedding Cookies! Yum! And so easy now that Trader Joe's sells bags of ground almonds. I also downloaded a bunch of mariachi music and burned a CD for her.

Mexican Wedding Cookies

1 cup confectioners’ sugar, plus additional for rolling
1 cup butter, softened
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup ground almonds (or any other nuts you choose—pecans are very popular)
2 cups all-purpose flour

Preheat oven to 350°.

Cream together sugar and butter. Add remaining ingredients and mix until well blended.

Form dough into 1-inch balls and place on ungreased cookie sheets, about 1 inch apart.

Bake for 10-15 minutes, or until set and just barely light brown.

Roll in additional confectioners’ sugar while still warm and place on wire racks to cool. Store in airtight container.

Alphabet Meme

Via Kirsty: Type each letter of the alphabet into the address bar of your browser and make a list of the first site displayed for each letter:

a About. com
b Blog Explosion
c Chasing Daisy
d Daily Kos
e Everything's Ruined
f Information Junk
g Google
h Asparagus Pee
i Idle Type
j Julia
k Boblog
l Ideas
m McSweeney's
n Life or Something Like It
o The Onion
p Pesky Apostrophe
q Quizilla
r Rox Populi
s Suburban Bliss
t Three Kid Circus
u Build a Better Bush 
v Verbatim
w Woulda Coulda Shoulda
x Skippy the Bush Kangaroo
y Yahoo!
z Ze's Blog

Wet Pete, Dry Pete

Lauren said I should call the pediatrician about Pete's sudden and persistent bedwetting, so I did. I thought I would get pooh-poohed right off the phone, but instead they wanted me to bring him in for a urinalysis! So, for three days I've been trying to adjust to the idea of my son having diabetes. Today we went, and of course he's fine. They will still send the urine out to check for a urinary tract infection, but it seems unlikely since he has no other symptoms. The doctor agreed with me that it's probably just a case of a very active boy spending a very full day and falling into a very deep sleep. She asked him if it bothered him, and he said, "No." (I guess my efforts to instill no guilt whatsoever even in the face of all that laundry have paid off! Sigh.) So, we will wait and see if this passes as quickly as it came. In the meantime, we're still going in every night at about 9:30 to bring him to the toilet; the last three nights he then stayed dry until morning.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: What do you think is the perfect age to get married? To have a first child? To retire?
Get married: 25. Have a first child: 30. Retire: 55.

Soup: If you could change occupations tomorrow, what would you want to do for a living?
I'm just looking forward to getting back to copyediting. I don't think there's another occupation that would suit me better.

Salad: What does the color green make you think of?
Lush, healthy, natural, vibrant . . .

Main Course: What is something that has happened to you over the last year that you didn't expect?
I'm physically falling apart! My vision, my teeth, my lower back, my skin, my knee . . . one after another, each body part is disappointing me.

Dessert: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
12, playing spin-the-bottle at a Bar Mitzvah party.

Customer Service

I am a sucker for good customer service. It used to be that one expected it; unfortunately, nowadays it's become a rare treat. One place in particular always comes through for me: Lands' End. (I'm willing to forgive their misplaced apostrophe; they know it's an error but have kept it sort of "for old time's sake.") The people who answer the phone at Lands' End will do anything possible to help. They will tell you the inseam for every style and size of little boy's pants. They will try to find something similar on sale. They will waive the shipping charges if you're reordering something. They will tell you which parka is really the warmest. They will tell you whether the green shown in the catalog is not really true; it's actually more of an aqua shade in real life. They will even sell you one kid's glove or mitten at half the pair price! And, most importantly, they will let you return anything at any time for any reason. Case in point: I bought Pete some gloves; we tried them on and they seemed fine. However, at recess the first time he wore them to school, he found it too hard to get his fingers into the whatever they're called (finger sleeves?). So, I called up and said, "I want to return these gloves. However, since I thought we were keeping them, (1) I no longer have the paperwork. (2) He already wore them once. (3) I wrote his name inside in indelible marker." True to form, I was told no problem. They give returns to charity anyhow! Imagine!

My only complaint with Lands' End is that they didn't come up with maternity clothes soon enough. Every time I was pregnant, I wrote to them and begged them to start a maternity line. All I wanted was regular comfy cotton clothes. Mais, non. Now of course they have lots of great maternity stuff. And Andy didn't think that was a legitimate enough reason to have another kid! What does he know, anyway?

Yiddish with Dick and Jane

I guess this is going to be a real book!?

C+ in Etymology

Sheesh, for such a self-proclaimed word nerd, I didn't do so well on this etymology test. It reminds me of the game they play on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me" where the people have to think of fake definitions for words. (Oh, and by the way, if you go to the "Wait, Wait" site, you can listen to some of the great answering machine messages that Carl Kasell has done for those lucky winner.)

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty

I got my first order from Mermaids Bath, and I'm in heaven! How I was ever able to make up my mind, I'll never know. The chai spice Lip Butter is wonderful. I suffer from chapped lips all winter long, and this seems to be doing the trick, plus the subtle scent is lovely. The Soap Sponge is unbelievable! It looks like a big lumpy mass of something horrible, but in fact it's a big lumpy mass of something wonderful: It's a genuine sea sponge with all-natural soap molded all around it. I got mine in oatmeal-milk-honey. I love it! I also got a Lotion Bar in the default "Angel" scent, which I'm trying to remember to use on my heels, elbows, etc. It's lotion but it comes in a thingy like a deodorant stick. RuthAnn was also so kind as to include some freebies because she seems to think the order should have shipped about 5 minutes before it did, so I got a nice GingerFig glycerin soap and a sample lotion in November's scent of the month, CranberryFig. If you like beautiful hand-crafted bath and body products in heavenly scents (and who doesn't?), you've got to check out this stuff.

Thoughts on Banking

Banks represent two extremes to me: the high-tech environment of ATMs and online finance versus the quaint experience of visiting your local branch office. On the one hand, millions of ATM transactions are conducted daily, and I've never heard of a situation in which there was an error. Ever. There probably has been, but they must be awfully few and far between. Pretty much all my banking is done at ATMs and on my computer, and it always turns out perfectly. (Knock wood, spit twice, turn over a glass, throw salt. . . .) Then you actually go into a bank, and there are little pieces of paper to fill out, and it doesn't really matter how you fill them out! Do any two people write out checks or deposit slips the same way? (What do you write when it says to "list checks"?) And signatures? Forget about it! You can just scribble in a circle for a few seconds, as Andy does, and that's your "signature." And it always seems as though the bank tellers have lots of little piles of various slips of paper lying about; I'm just waiting for someone to spindle something. Doesn't it all just seem so '60s-ish? There is clearly no "one right way" to make those little machines print properly on various documents. Stephanie and I went to the bank the other day to open a savings account for her, and I was more than just a little surprised and disappointed that she didn't get a "passbook" with all that crooked purple printing.

Aw, Shucks!

I got my first comment from Blog Explosion today!

A wonderful blog full of wit, insight, and musings on the daily life. Superb.

(I thought that warranted my first-ever use of color type!)

Shhhhh

I wish I were smart Web-savvy enough to figure out how to put these audio files right into my blog, but for now you'll just have to click here to find a repository of sounds, from the soothing (crackling fire, waterfall) to the downright jarring (playground, alarm clock). Photos accompany each sound.

Just a Little White Whale on the Go

Next time you get a song stuck in your head ("Baby Beluga," anyone?), go to Maim That Tune for a replacement. Via Fishbucket.

VIP Sighting

Who do you suppose was sitting back-to-back with Andy today at Mike's Pastry in the North End? John Updike, that's who—in his customary bowtie, drinking cappuccino and eating a huge chocolate cannoli, reading Rudyard Kipling. Yes, Rudyard Kipling. (Probably re-reading, don't you think?)

I Need a New T-Shirt

Via Left Is Right.

Thingamajig

What do you call those little chains made out of metal balls, like what dogtags are (or used to be?) on? It seems like we had lots of them when I was little, but I came across one today (on Stephanie's new Gap parka, holding a tag onto the zipper) and realized it had been years since I'd seen one.

Similarly, on Halloween, I needed to pin Steph's witch costume a bit (yes, I know, photos are still forthcoming—I still haven't finished that roll of film) and could find only one safety pin in the house. I actually had to go out and buy a package of safety pins! I swear when I was growing up, there were safety pins of all sizes around the house. Is everything Velcro now?

I Wonder What ; Means

More fun from Ze Frank, and now I know his name is pronounced "Zay" not "Zee."

A Day in the Life

First I get the kids up and dressed. Yes, you have to wear long sleeves and long pants. Then down for breakfast. No, you can't have Pop-Tarts. Because we always start off the week with a healthy breakfast. Just because. Then pack Julie's lunch. Then pack snacks for Steph and Pete, who will buy (cold) "hot lunch" today—and who wouldn't, when it's called Veggie Fun Lunch! (Although the only veggie is carrot sticks. The rest is neon yogurt, fruit, cheese stick, milk, and some kind of crackers or cookies.) Then figure out the situation regarding outerwear. Lessee, there's still an inch or two of snow on the ground, and it's bright out but chilly. So parkas, hats, and gloves. But what about footwear? Well, Pete and Julie can wear their Merrells, but Steph has to wear sneakers because she has P.E. So maybe she should wear her Merrells to walk to school and pack her sneakers. OK. No, not OK. She will wear her sneakers and I will pack everyone's snow boots for recess. Fine. Should I pack snow pants? Wait, Steph still doesn't have any yet. OK, so no snow pants. Fine. We walk to school and drop off Steph and Pete. I notice that the playground is very snowy. I leave with Julie and go back home to pick up Pete's and Julie's snow pants. I drive Julie to school and leave without any tears (from either of us)! Then I go to Whole Foods, which is where I buy nearly all my meat/poultry/fish and produce. Then I go home, put away the perishables, and go over to the school to work in the library for Pete's class. I remember to leave his snow pants in his cubby, and I tell him 2 or 3 or 15 times that they're there. Then I go to Trader Joe's, which is where I buy things that are unavailable or too expensive at Whole Foods, like Pirate's Booty, cereal bars, nuts, dried fruit, etc. Then I go to the regular supermarket, which is where I buy everything else, like toilet paper, peanut butter, normal (read: nonsprouting) wheat bread, and so on. Then I stop at CVS to see whether they have the kind of lightbulb I need for the kitchen. No. Then I race home, put away the perishables, and go pick up Julie from school. Then we come home and I put her in to nap, so I can eat lunch, put away the rest of the groceries, empty the dishwasher, fold and put away the laundry, and clean up the breakfast dishes. Then I wake Julie out of a sound sleep (Kate couldn't sit today) and we go to pick up Steph and Pete at school. Then we pack snacks and get in the car to drop Pete at karate (nearby) and Steph at art (across town). Then Julie and I come back and stop off at our little neighborhood market, because even though I was already in three different markets today, I neglected to buy turkey at the deli counter. (I don't like the turkey at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's, and I forgot at the supermarket.) It's just a few doors down from karate, so we watch the end of Pete's class. Then we three stop at Walgreen's for the lightbulbs; still no luck. Then we drive over to art class to get Steph and all come home. I let them watch a little TV while I start getting supper ready. Then Andy comes home and says, "What did you do today?" I think. I start to speak. I pause. I say, "Oh, nothing."

W

Twice last week, someone "reminded" me that it was time to remove my lapel pin. I said, "Why?" And both people said, "It's over!" The way I look at it is, the election may be over (although see my many other posts on that issue), but the pin also means that I don't agree with or approve of most of Dubya's policies, appointments, and decisions and that I intend to oppose him in any way I can whenever his actions warrant it. I will likely be wearing this pin for Four More Years.

Let's Count the Votes Already

Golly Beav, these guys sound even angrier than I am!

I know we're supposed to just forget about election tampering at this point, but I'm stubborn that way.

A Major Downer

I'm trying to think of a more depressing movie than "Monster." Let's see. . . . Nope, not even close. Nope, that was just sad. Nope. Nope.

"Monster" is the most crushingly depressing movie I can recall. Sheesh.

Such Nachas

Today was Brian's Bar Mitzvah, and everything turned out great, despite a few inches of snow on the ground overnight! I rarely go to shul, but I enjoy it when I go, especially for an occasion that draws relatives in from all over. I still remember (nearly) every word of every prayer and song, and I still get goosebumps when I sing certain Hebrew phrases, even though I don't usually know what they mean. The reception was fun, and we did an endless hora with Lauren and Mom and Auntie Nita and Grandma and all the others. Grandma looked like a million bucks, and I don't even mean "for a 96-year-old."

Tomorrow is a low-key brunch at their house, so I'll get to catch up with everyone else.

Mazel Tov to Brian and the whole family!

I Has a Mandate, and I Intends to Use It

President George W. Bush announced the first major initiative of his second term in office today, canceling the agreement between nouns and verbs.

Via Pamela, who also had to stay home with a sick daughter and D-D-D-D-Dora! I also got a dose of "The Berenstain Bears," the furry banes of my existence.