verbatim

Best Book I've Read in Eons

I'm sure I've lamented before that too many of the "short stories" in the New Yorker these days are in fact excerpts from upcoming novels. Many of them work perfectly well as short stories (in fact, I'm frequently astounded by how well a single chapter or part of a chapter from a novel can be abridged to stand on its own so well); that's not the point. I love short stories, and I think that the crafting of a really good short story is entirely different from a novel. I count on the New Yorker to introduce me to new short-story writers and to continue to encourage and reward the old pros. Moreover, I am often annoyed when I'm reading a novel and can recall what's going to happen in a particular scene because I've already read it as a "short story."

That being said, often I love one of these "short stories" so much that I run out and buy the novel. That was the case with Everything Is Illuminated, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, and others. Other times I am underwhelmed enough that I make a mental note not to seek out the novel. Such was the case with Middlesex, by Jeffrey Eugenides. I don't recall being particularly dazzled by the writing, but I do remember thinking that I wasn't all that interested in the tale of a teenage hermaphrodite. You see, the chapter chosen to stand as a short story in the New Yorker was the one in which the fourteen-year-old Calliope Stephanides discovers that she's not exactly the girl she has been raised to be. It just didn't interest me all that much, and I couldn't see wanting to read 500+ pages about her.

Well, the years passed, and numerous people exhorted me to read Middlesex. I don't remember who finally convinced me to give it a try, but I am so grateful! I just finished reading it yesterday and it is truly one of my favorite books of all time. I loved every minute of it. When I finally got about 75% of the way through the book and reached the chapter that I'd read in the New Yorker some 5 years ago, I was ready for that scene. Here was a case in which the chapter chosen to stand alone was one that really needed a back-story.

It may be hard to understand or believe this if you haven't read the book, but trust me: Although the narrator is telling his/her life story as a hermaphrodite, that's really not the main thrust of the novel. The biggest—and, for my money, best—chunk of the book is given over to telling about this Greek family's life both in Turkey in the 1920s and as newly arrived immigrants to the U.S. Our narrator Cal/Callie is omniscient to the point of describing being an ovum waiting to be fertilized. Every character is fully developed and believable, and the descriptions of time and place are spot-on. There are passages that made me laugh out loud and others that were so touching I brushed back tears. So to reduce this entertaining, big-hearted, sweeping family saga to "a story about a hermaphrodite" would be to miss out on its most glorious features. Really, it could be about any teenager trying to find his/her identity and way in the world—Cal/Callie just has a bit more of an obstacle to overcome than most of us do.

Eugenides has to be one of the most gifted writers I have ever come across. I think now that I must have just skimmed the short story in the New Yorker because there is no way I could have missed this. Every sentence is astonishing and delightful; honestly, I can't imagine how one writer could have produced so much gorgeous, exhilarating prose.

In short: If you, like me, put this book aside because you thought you wouldn't like it, please give it a chance. Those Pulitzer folks really knew what they were doing when they gave this one the big prize. Eugenides is a creative genius both in terms of story-telling and prose-writing.

Soccer Saturday

Kindergarten soccer finally started today, after being rained out two weeks ago and Yom Kippur last week. Our match was mighty lopsided; no one on Julie's team could even get near the goal. I got a crick in my neck from looking to the left for the whole game!

Pete may well be on the worst third-grade team in the city; today we played what we had heretofore thought was the worst team. The other team was missing its two best players and had no available subs, so all the kids there had to play for the whole hour. We beat them 3-2, but I don't think that's saying much, since we had our whole group present.

All that being said, it's sunny, breezy, and warm today, and all the kids had a blast running around chasing soccer balls with their friends, regardless of the outcome.

Mmm, Dirt...

Jones Soda, famous for such off-the-wall beverage flavors as "Turkey and Gravy" (peh!), is now producing a limited-edition five-pack of sodas for the Seahawks:

Clare Bowles, a spokeswoman for the Seattle-based company, said the four literally named flavors -- Dirt, Sports Cream, Perspiration and Natural Field Turf -- are "pretty lifelike."

"Perspiration Soda is kind of salty tasting," she said, with a slightly higher sodium content than the average soda, with a smooth, "stinky football sock" finish.

A sip of Sports Cream Soda conjures up the experience of rubbing ointment into an aching muscle, while Natural Field Turf Soda is like "playing tackle football, and you get tackled really hard, you're down on the ground and you get a little bit of the grass in your teeth," Bowles said.

The only sweet soda of the bunch, Sweet Victory, has a berry flavor.

Thanks, but I'll pass.

The Curse Is Reversed!

Hold on to your Red Sox hats: We won tonight and Pete was at the game! He is going to wake up tomorrow morning with a sore jaw from grinning so hard. "Some guy" also gave him a game ball. What a night for my little guy!

Take a Left at the Light

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Custard Pie - Paul Rishell & Annie Raines
2. Monkey to Man - Elvis Costello
3. Big Time - Peter Gabriel
4. It's Just Another Morning Here - Nanci Griffith
5. Ain't Hurtin' Nobody - John Prine
6. The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me) - Tom Waits
7. I Can't Stand Up for Falling Down - Elvis Costello
8. I'm Tore Down - Eric Clapton
9. Anodyne - Uncle Tupelo
10. Hallelujah - Martin Sexton

And the Winner Is...

...ME! I won a contest on Mental_Floss! They've been running these "Ridiculous Board Games" on their office white board (labeled "Board @ Work"). For the first game (which I missed—didn't tune in till it was already over), you had to randomly guess what flag someone had drawn (without seeing it, obviously). It turned out to be Singapore. For the second game, someone else drew an animal. Out of 270 wild guesses, mine (#153) was the right one: It was a meerkat! So now I get to pick a T-shirt! I can't make up my mind. I'm torn between "Simple as 3.141592..." and "Marco Polo" and the regular old "Mental_Floss" one. Andy is pushing heavily for me to choose the "Easter Island" one.

I read Mental_Floss every day (and even subscribe to the magazine), because it's filled with interesting, funny, clever bits and pieces about everything under the sun. And now I get a T-shirt. Go me!

Update: I decided to go with the Mental_Floss logo T-shirt. I'll show it to you when it arrives.

Hecticity

I apologize for my lame blogging this past week or two (although I'm pretty pleased that I haven't missed a day yet). Everything has been at a fever pitch, but I think I can relax a bit now. Yesterday I finished up that big French project I was working on (another one is coming next week, but I won't think about that now), and I had a few smaller projects from other clients at the same time. Then, this is the week my "Class Notes" column is due for the quarterly alumni magazine—it's not a huge job, but it's not nothing either. And, to top it all off, this week was my first time being in charge of the kids' school newsletter; it's somewhat time-consuming and I had the learning-curve time to put in. Then, just a million other things, like curriculum nights at school (Julie's was Tuesday; Pete's and Steph's were Wednesday, but we couldn't get a sitter, so I just ran back and forth between their classrooms for an hour!), an appointment with Dr. Chang (delightfully uneventful—no holes being drilled through my irises this year!), etc.

I also finally got the piano tuned. A friend's piano-tuning brother was in town, so it seemed like an ideal opportunity. It was in such bad shape he had to make three passes to do it properly! It took him all afternoon, but it sounds beautiful now.

There are six loads of clean laundry heaped up in the mudroom, waiting to be folded. (As if it matters at this point—everything's probably wrinkled beyond recognition by now.) I have to schedule the next book group. An angry orange light is flashing on my car's dashboard. Soccer, yoga, birthday parties, and on and on and on....

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

Hey, I got someone I've actually heard of!

Donald Arthur Mattingly (nicknamed "Donnie Baseball" and "The Hit Man) (born April 20, 1961) is a retired first baseman who played for the New York Yankees of the American League from 1982-1995. He is currently Joe Torre's bench coach for the Yankees.

"Donnie Baseball" is one of the most popular Yankees in the team's storied history. Despite not being a member of a World Series winning team, his popularity is comparable to that of Yankee greats like Babe Ruth, Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra and Joe DiMaggio. Since returning for the annual Old Timer's Game, Mattingly has consistently received the loudest ovations.

Mattingly grew up in Evansville, Indiana and was one of the nation's top prospects as a high school player at Reitz Memorial High School in 1979, earning a brief write-up in Sports Illustrated magazine. However, most Major League Baseball teams avoided drafting Mattingly, expecting him to attend college before entering professional baseball. Taking a chance, the New York Yankees drafted Mattingly in the 19th round of the 1979 amateur draft and subsequently signed him.

There's (obviously) more that I'm not including here; you can read the rest at Wiki.

CSP

Guess what: I have the solution to the world's energy and pollution problems! Plus no more blood for oil and a valid get-rich-quick plan for some of the planet's poorest nations. Curious? Check out this 3-minute video. Pretty damn cool hot, no?

(Hat-tip to new Verbatim reader Andrew!)

Gmail Still Sucks

I continue to hate Gmail, and the reasons continue to grow. To recap and expand upon my previously aired gripes:

The main thing that drives me positively batty is all the clicking and page-loading. Every time I want to read a message, I have to click and wait for it to load. (I know, it's just a second or two, but they add up.) Then after I reply, I have to click and wait for it to send—and unlike in Apple Mail or any other non-web-based email client, I can't move on to another message until it does. Then I have to click and wait to get back to the inbox. That's a big pet peeve for me, by the way: Why on earth doesn't it send you right back to the inbox (or wherever you last were, or wherever you designate as your preferred default location) after you've sent a message? Who would want to stay there with their already-sent message?

I still can't get used to the threaded conversations. One thing that makes me nuts is that I can't tell at a glance whether I've responded to a message yet. Certainly, if there isn't a "2" there, I know that I haven't replied, but once a conversation gets to 3 or 5 or 8 back-and-forths—particularly with more than two participants—I have to open the damn thing just to tell whether it's my turn or not. More clicking! With regular old mailboxes, on the other hand, you can see the little "replied-to" icon next to messages in your in-box. I usually just delete the ones I've already replied to anyhow. And sometimes the threads get garbled, particularly when lots of people are involved. It isn't always easy to tell who's replying to what.

You can't easily do two things at once. I might be replying to a message and want to refer to a completely different message, but it's not possible—you can only be inside one mailbox (or whatever the eff they're called) at once. Grrrr!

The labels? More clicking and waiting. Plus, I don't want to have to label everything—and not everything is easily categorized anyhow.

I continue to really miss the "Send Again" feature I use in Mail. I frequently want to re-send an already-sent message to someone else, or to the same person with an additional line or two at the top, or whatever. In Gmail I have to copy and paste into a new message. Tedious!

There's no easy way to send multiple attachments—you have to keep clicking "Attach a file" and then click on each file individually; in Mail, you click once and then highlight all the files at once.

Receiving attachments is also a pain in the butt. I just want to click on an attachment and have it open up in the appropriate application—whether it's a Word document, a photo, a PDF, or whatever. With Gmail, I have to either choose to download it, or view it as a Google document (which doesn't seem to have any advantages whatsoever), or view it in HTML; in any event, it all just amounts to more clicking and waiting! And when someone attaches photos, they sometimes show up and sometimes not; when they do, they're tiny, and when I click to view them, they're enormous.

Finally, I would say I get a maximum of 5 spam messages a week on my Comcast account—and my Comcast address is the only one I ever use on the Web, for forms, blog comments, surveys, contests, mail-order, you name it. But my personal address, which points to Gmail? Hundreds upon hundreds of spam messages, and all the worst kind. I would never in a bazillion years let one of my kids have a Gmail account for just that reason. And, to top it off, recently there was a period of a week or two where Gmail was randomly putting legitimate messages from people on my contacts list into the spam folder—so now every few days I have to spend time wading through all that junk just in case I come across some real messages from my friends that somehow got trashed.

I'm sure I will have more complaints about Gmail next time; it seems as though something new about it pisses me off almost every day. But I'm stuck with it for the time being.

Family Dinner

As many of you know, we've been trying to have more family dinners Chez Verbatim. The obstacles include the following:

1. Andy is not even remotely hungry when the kids are starving (6:00-ish).
2. One night a week Steph has yoga from 5:3o to 6:30; another night Pete and Andy have soccer from 5:30 to 6:30, which really makes it hard. You can't eat a full meal before exercising, but it's awfully late to sit down to dinner with young kids at 7:00.
3. It's not easy to get dinner for 5 on the table by 6:00-ish. Some of the foods Andy and I love best are those that take a long time to cook (ribs, roast duck, etc.).
4. Our kids are not the most, shall we say, adventurous eaters on the planet. And there's only so much "plain" food Andy and I can take.

All that being said, we are trying to eat together several nights a week at least; the other nights we feed the kids on the fly and eat together later, after they're in bed. It seems to be working out well, because the kids occasionally get their beloved chicken nuggets and hot dogs and we get our ribeyes and Cabernet.

We're trying to make our family dinners more special, too. I took a cue from Kathleen and started lighting candles to usher in the dinner hour—it really does make it feel like a special time. We always do the "Julie, Julie, what do you say? What was your favorite thing today?" game all around the table, which inevitably leads to tons of family discussions and laughter.

So, what did we have tonight? Read on:

Spaghetti and Chicken Carbonara

½ cup Parmesan, grated
2 eggs
¼ heavy cream (Update 11/30/09: I made this tonight but had only half & half on hand, and it worked just fine.)
½ tsp kosher salt
½ tsp black pepper
¼ cup dry white wine
¼ cup chicken broth
1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice
½ lb. thick-sliced bacon, diced
1 lb. chicken tenders (cut into bite-sized pieces), seasoned with salt and pepper
12 oz. spaghetti
1 cup frozen peas, thawed (or you can just put them in the colander and pour the spaghetti and boiling water over them to defrost instantly)

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil for the spaghetti.

In a bowl, whisk together Parmesan, eggs, cream, salt, and pepper; set aside. In another bowl, combine wine, broth, and lemon juice; set aside.

Sauté bacon in a large pan until crisp. Transfer with a slotted spoon to a paper-towel-lined plate. Pour off all but 1 Tbsp bacon grease. (Save the remaining bacon grease for the next time you make fried chicken! If you throw it away, I'll have to hunt you down and punish you.) Add chicken and sauté about 3–4 minutes per side and transfer to plate with bacon.

Deglaze with wine mixture, scraping up any brown bits on the bottom of the pan. Reduce by half, about 2–3 minutes.

Cook spaghetti in boiling water. Meanwhile, combine bacon, chicken, wine glaze, and egg mixture in a large bowl. Drain pasta in colander (with peas, if they're still frozen); shake to remove excess water. Add hot pasta and peas to bowl with chicken mixture; the heat from the pasta will cook off any bacteria in the raw eggs. Really.

Toss to coat evenly and serve! Excellent.

Hell in a Handbasket

Here are some rather sobering statistics on the state of our planet. Click on "NOW" to start the clock running and see how much happens in just a few seconds.

After the Bike Race, Before the Candy Hunt

Here's a quick and easy treat to make for your next Block Party, and I can guarantee that they'll go fast.

Thick and Chewy Chocolate-Chip Cookie Bars

2 cups + 2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
½ tsp salt
½ tsp baking soda
12 Tbsp unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly
1 cup (firmly packed) light brown sugar
½ cup granulated sugar
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
2 tsp vanilla
2 cups semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chips or chunks

Heat oven to 325°. Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position. Line 13x9x2 pan with foil, leaving a few inches hanging over each edge. (You will need two pieces—one to go horizontally and one to go vertically—and you may have to fold or cut them to fit.) Spray foil with nonstick spray.

Combine flour, salt, and baking soda in a medium bowl; set aside.

Whisk melted butter and both sugars in a large bowl until combined. Add egg, egg yolk, and vanilla and mix well. Using a rubber spatula, fold dry ingredients into egg mixture until just combined; do not overmix. Fold in chips and turn batter into prepared pan, smoothing top with spatula.

Bake until top is light golden brown, slightly firm to the touch, and edges start pulling away from sides of pan, 27–30 minutes. Cool on wire rack to room temperature. Remove bars from pan by lifting foil overhang and transfer to cutting board. Cut into 2" squares and serve.

Good Food, Good Friends

We just got home from a break-the-fast gathering at our friends' house. No, we didn't fast for Yom Kippur, but it's still a nice occasion to get together. I made a tried and true cake recipe from Abby Dodge, and it went over well.

Susan and Ted prepared a very clever scavenger hunt for all the kids (our 3, their 3, and 2 cousins). There were clues all over the house, winding up with prizes for both teams in the living room. The kids had a blast, and we enjoyed watching them.

Tomorrow's our annual block party, so more good, clean fun will be had by all.

Mai Cat Haz a Secrit

Remember PostSecret (which I blogged about more than 2 years ago, and it's still going strong!)—the place where people can anonymously reveal their deepest, darkest secrets? Some are goofy ("My ex would leave toenail clippings on my nightstand. I cooked them in his mac and cheese.") and some are really upsetting ("If I'm pregnant, I'm going to kill myself."), but all are fascinating (to me, anyhow).

Well, stay with me, because some cutting-edge minds have created lolsecretz, described as "the meeting of two of the Internet's most famous memes:  PostSecret and LOLcats." The entries range from adorable to hilarious to really clever to pretty damn poignant.

What's a Three-Letter Word for...

I had to take a break from this endless French project to do a quick online crossword puzzle featuring some of the words added to the brand-spankin'-new Shorter Oxford English Dictionary. In this case, shorter means it has "only" about 4,000 pages of definitions, as opposed to the full-length OED, which has something like 22,000 pages.

Oh, and how's this for an anagram of The Shorter Oxford English Dictionary: "Order this grand history of the lexicon.” (No, I didn't think it up myself.)

(via Away with Words)

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. I'm From New Jersey (live) - John Gorka
2. Yes to You (Tappan Zee) - Susan Werner
3. Oye Mi Amor - Maná
4. If You Really Love Me - Stevie Wonder
5. I Can't Wait - John Hiatt
6. Raining in Baltimore - Counting Crows
7. So Much to Say - Dave Matthews
8. Women vs. Men - David Byrne
9. In the Journey - Martin Sexton
10. Respect - Aretha Franklin

Thanks

I'm having a less-then-stellar day (too much work, coming down with a cold), so this refreshable page of random compliments is just what I need.

In Stitches

I spoke to Girl C's mom today (whom I had just met for the first time yesterday when I ran out of Girl E's house to tell her not to be alarmed when she went inside and saw her daughter bleeding profusely); she said that the poor little girl ended up with something like 10 stitches in her eyebrow and another 8 or so in her lip. Luckily the ER was able to summon a plastic surgeon to do it. Having brought all 3 of my own kids to the ER with blood streaming from their heads, I can really sympathize with the terror and worry. (Let's recap: Steph fell backward off the couch at about age 5 or 6 and got 3 stitches in the back of her head, then came Pete's incident at age 5, and then Julie's experience at age 2½—which had the added excitement of Pete's simultaneous ER visit for a nonbleeding problem.)

Julie made her friend a card with pictures of rainbows and flowers and wrote "I hope your face feels better."

Accidents Will Happen

Julie went on her first kindergarten playdate today. She and Girl C went to Girl E's house. Just minutes before I arrived to pick up Julie, Girl C fell down and cut her face pretty badly in two places. There was blood everywhere. Girl E's mom was really calm and reassuring on the outside but clearly (to me, anyhow) freaking out inside until Girl C's mom showed up. If it had happened earlier, she would have had to take her to the ER, I think. It looked pretty bad. Poor Girl C's mom didn't know what hit her when she came in and saw her little girl. Really scary.

Needless to say, I was very happy and grateful to take my little, intact Julie home with me.

Gym

There are now two Pilates instructors at the club. The old one does a very fluid, graceful class where everything flows from one thing to the next, but she doesn't do any real hands-on instruction. The new guy tends more toward a series of discrete exercises with no flow at all, but he walks around and adjusts your body to the proper position (which I discovered when he grabbed my ankles and rearranged them, which reminded me that I hadn't shaved my legs in, oh, like, a month...). I wish they could merge the two, because I like the flow of one class but really need the hands-on instruction of the other.

I've been taking a bunch of weight-training classes, and working hard at them, but I still haven't gotten back into the cardio routine. I just dread returning to that damn elliptical machine.

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

I turned up a list of Methodist theologians:

Proto-Methodist theologians

• Jacobus Arminius
• Hugo Grotius

18th century

• John Wesley
• Charles Wesley
• John Fletcher

19th century

• Adam Clarke
• Richard Watson
• Wilbur Fisk
• Nathan Bangs
• Hugh Price Hughes
• William Burt Pope
• John Miley
• Borden Parker Bowne

20th century

• Edgar S. Brightman
• Justo Gonzalez
• E. Stanley Jones
• Albert C. Knudson
• Edwin Lewis
• H. Orton Wiley
• Georgia Harkness
• Albert C. Outler
• J. Kenneth Grider
• James Cone
• John B. Cobb
• Young-Ho Chun
• The people of The United Methodist Church

21st century

• Marcella Althaus-Reid
• Thomas C. Oden
• Stanley Hauerwas
• Christopher Morse
• Scott J. Jones
• Marjorie Suchocki
• William H. Willimon
• Geoffrey Wainwright
• Andrew S. Park
• The people of The United Methodist Church

And what could this possibly have to do with me? My alma mater, Wesleyan University, was named for John Wesley, the founder of Methodism.

Un-Banned Books

I just love our bright, enthusiastic, slightly ornery school librarian. For one thing, she knows her job inside and out. For another, she so methodically—and, indeed, gleefully—orders every item on every list of banned or challenged books that it warms my hearts. Granted, we live in an extremely intellectual, liberal community, so there aren't any banned books here; she has to hunt for these things around the country.

The citywide curriculum requires her to do a lesson on the U.S. Constitution for the fifth graders; I happened to be on library duty today for Steph's class. First, the librarian read And Tango Makes Three, which is such a sweet, lovely picture book (and a true story, to boot!) that it's hard to imagine anyone getting upset about it. It tells the story of two male penguins at the Central Park Zoo who have clearly designated themselves "a couple" and end up being given the chance to raise a baby penguin along with all the other couples. The theme of diverse families is made clearly but not stridently, and of course there's not even a mention of sex anywhere in the book, yet there are those who decry it as "promoting a homosexual agenda" (whatever that is).

After she read them the book (which they all loved), she passed around a whole bunch of books (all the usual suspects: Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, Harry Potter, etc.) and asked the kids to try to imagine what they all had in common. This led to a discussion of whether it's constitutional to ban books at all. She agreed that it was OK for parents to determine whether a book is appropriate for their own kids but asked whether they should be allowed to make that decision for everyone else's kids. No one thought so. I'm so lucky to live here.

Consumer Action

1. Steph is all about chocolate milk, but Pete and Julie prefer Horizon's lowfat vanilla milk, which I buy by the case in those little aseptic drink boxes. They're very convenient for packing in lunchboxes, but my recycling bin is filled with them and they're wildly expensive. I called Horizon to ask whether they would consider selling vanilla milk in half-gallon jugs as well, and they thanked me for my call and said they'd pass the request along to blahblahblah....

Meanwhile, Garelick Farms now sells half-gallon jugs of vanilla milk. It does contain that evil high-fructose corn syrup (Horizon has sugar instead), but the overall sugar content is the same, so I think I'll buy that for home drinking (diluted with a little skim milk). It's $3.29 for the half-gallon, as opposed to $12.49 (on sale) or $14.99 (regular price) for 18 half-pints, so roughly half the price.

Update (11/15/07): As soon as I bought the first half-gallon, it vanished from the shelves. I called Garelick and learned that they have discontinued it. Sigh.

2. Reynolds has stopped making those heavy-duty foil oven bags that I use for ribs. There's no other product on the market like it, and I really miss them.  I called to beg them to reconsider, and they thanked me for my call and said they'd pass the request along to blahblahblah....

3. As you know, I really, really tried to like the new Poland Spring sport bottles, but it just isn't happening for me. The plastic may indeed be more environmentally friendly, but it's too flimsy for me. When I pick up the bottle, I often accidentally squeeze water right out the top. Speaking of the top, I hate-hate-hate the new cap. First of all, you have to remove that little blue tab, which you then have to either put in your pocket or throw away somewhere. Then, when you go to drink, the rest of the blue cap hits you in the lip or cheek, which I find very disconcerting. I prefer the regular old pop-up top, which you can even open with your teeth when only one hand is available. So I called and was told that the new top is meant to be more "tamper-evident." I told them I had stopped buying their water because of it; they thanked me for my call and said they'd pass the request along to blahblahblah....

While we're on the subject, I would very much like to switch to a nondisposable water bottle (for the gym and car), but I can't find a decent one. I don't like metal because they're too heavy and they dent if they're dropped. Some of the plastic bottles have an awkward shape, many have horribly-designed spouts (or no spout at all—as if I'm going to buy one of those bottles you have to unscrew and rescrew every time), they smell funny, they're hard to wash, etc. etc. So, for now, I buy other brands of disposable sports bottles with normal pop-up tops, refill them with tap water a few times, then recycle them when they get icky.

Oh, and for those of you who want me to know that most bottled water is just tap water: I know. I buy it for the bottle, mostly, although sometimes I buy it because I'm thirsty and don't have anything to drink (like on a long car ride).

So: Do you call companies to let them know when you're disappointed with their products? It's true that if enough people stop buying something, the company will take the hint, but they won't know the reasons for the drop-off in sales unless we tell them.

Tell It Like It Is

Go check out Tony Bourdain's "Overrated Menu." My favorite part is the Chocolate Martini:

Both chocolate and liquor are good in bars, but ordering them together announces that you don't like or appreciate either. Anyone who requests this drink should also get a T-shirt that says "I am an asshole, please take my money."

Blue Plate Special

I bet you didn't know this was such a classy blog, with its own line of Delftware:

(Oh, OK, you can make one too. It's fun—you get to choose the border and the field as well as the copy.)

Ribbons of Color

Sometimes just cutting your veggies in a new way makes all the difference. Here I've used a peeler to cut long ribbons of zucchini and carrot, and sautéed them with leeks and thyme.

Hockey Star

We have a neighbor who occasionally gives us hand-me-downs from his son (who's now in high school), everything from clothes to books to games. One day a Hefty bag full of T-shirts will appear on the back steps; another time he'll come over with a kaleidoscope, two Harry Potter books, a navy blue blazer, and three pairs of snowboots. It's always a strange assortment of stuff, which makes me wonder how they organize their attic and/or basement over there.

A few weeks ago he brought over a pair of khakis and a tabletop hockey game. The khakis might fit Pete in about 10 years (or maybe not, if he continues to just shoot straight up without adding any girth whatsoever), but the hockey game has already gotten many hours of use around here. We have daily goal-shooting tournaments, and the whole family gets in on it. The interesting thing is that Julie is by far the best at it of anyone. On the very first day, she naturally hit upon a perfect ricochet shot that rarely fails. Andy was the first to copy it, and the rest of us followed, so now we can occasionally beat her. Here she is giving Pete some pointers:

Fortress of Doom

Pete and his buddy built this huge structure yesterday:
 

Now check out this closeup of the base:

Those guys guarding the moat mean business. I don't know if you can tell, but every critter is eating another critter. The whole thing was very carefully and blood-thirstily planned out.

Thanks, Honey!

As if I needed any more encouragement, here's yet another perk of blogging: Today I received a package from a loyal Verbatim reader whose husband is an amateur beekeeper. Don't they look lovely? I'm eager to do a side-by-side tasting of the two slightly different varieties. (Labels obscured to protect the generous.)

Method Acting

I honestly would not have recognized Christian Bale in "The Machinist" if I didn't know he was in it. He lost a reported 63 lbs. for his role as an insomniac, anorexic, possibly insane machinist, and it was truly painful to look at him in some scenes. The movie was dark and troubling, but it did have a satisfying ending, unlike so many other dark, troubling movies. I can't exactly say I recommend this movie, but I'm not sorry I saw it. If you want to see an actor completely immerse himself in a role—and moreover, if you want to be able to count his ribs from the front or the back—then this is the movie for you. Creepy.

While I'm here, I'll just mention that I watched part of the first episode of "Entourage" and couldn't force myself to endure any more. The story wasn't even slightly interesting or compelling, and I didn't care about any of the characters. Andy watched the whole thing and is willing to give the second episode (on the same disc) a try. Not me.

Lefty Loosey

Via This Is Not a Blog, here's a photo of all the leaders of the Free World, taken at last week's APEC (Asia-Pacific Economic Community) summit in Sydney. Can you find our own W? Hint: Look all the way to the right, but think left. What's everyone else doing except for our boy?

D'oh!

Grease Is the Word

We rented "Grease" for Steph, who immediately fell in love with it and watches it as often as we'll let her. It's really good, clean fun (although I wasn't happy about having to address questions about why Rizzo might think she's "knocked up"...) and the songs are terrific. I was in the play at camp one summer, so I know every word to every song—much to Steph's dismay, because I sing (badly) at the top of my lungs.

Anyhow, she came across this, which I think is just so clever (as well as evidence that some people have way too much time on their hands). Having just seen the movie a couple hundred times, I can verify that the blocking, choreography, hand and head gestures, etc. are flawless.

Coffee-Free Coffee Hour

All these years of walking back and forth to the elementary school every morning, I used to look on wistfully as other parents would go off for a cup of coffee and some chit-chat before work or the gym or whatever was in store for the day. I could never join in because I was always rushing off to the preschool. So now that all my kids are together in one school, I invited Pia over for coffee last Friday morning after drop-off, and another friend joined us as we were walking home.

Nice, huh? But wouldn't it have been even nicer if I actually had some coffee in the house? I don't drink it, of course, and Andy gets his at Starbucks every morning, but we usually have some in the freezer left over from the last time we entertained. Not this time. So we all had chai instead. Some hostess!

GOAL!

I must have forgotten to mention Pete's first soccer game last Saturday. Hmm, let's see if I can recall . . . oh yeah, we lost 12-0! Sheesh. And then at this week's practice, the scrimmage ended at 0-0. At that point Andy revised his goals and expectations for the team to: Score at practice.

Today we woke up to pouring rain, so Julie's first kindergarten soccer game of the season was cancelled, which was a big disappointment for her. Pete had his game, though, and this time we won 6-0, including 2 goals scored by Pete himself! I guess we have a team of mudders.*

*Who will be first to post in the Comments what this refers to?

Aw, Shucks

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read. Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few

What Kind of Blogger Are You?

(Link via the Nag, who is—duh!—a Link Blogger.)

Yanked

We sent Steph to the Sox-Yankees game last night to assure a win, but even her good joss was not strong enough once our pitching fell apart. One minute we're winning 7-2 in the seventh, then all of a sudden the Yanks explode and take it away from us 8-7. And it was a nearly 5-hour game. Damn Yankees.

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Talk to Me Baby - Paul Rishell
2. Drown in My Own Tears - Chuck Brown & Eva Cassidy
3. Replace You - Jay Bennett
4. Last Will and Testament - J.J. Cale & Eric Clapton
5. Luna - Los Lobos
6. Love and Communication - Cat Power
7. Somewhere Down the Crazy River - Robbie Robertson
8. Oh Cumberland - The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band (featuring Matraca Berg & Emmylou Harris)
9. Don't Go Away Mad - Little Village
10. Career Moves - Loudon Wainwright III

Aromatherapy

This morning when we were baking the double-deckers, Julie opened the bottle of vanilla extract, inhaled deeply, and said, "Mmm . . . smells like love!"

Let Us Go Then, You and I

I got such a kick out of these Famous Poems Rewritten as Limericks, I had to try one myself:

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, by T. S. Eliot

Poor Al is a nebbish, growing older
With a pathetic stoop to his shoulder.
Eat at peach? No, he wouldn't!
Go to a party? He just couldn't!
Live a little, for God's sake, and be bolder!

(In truth, I feel a bit bad that I'm poking fun at ol' Al, because this is my favorite poem of all time and I am truly sympathetic to the poor guy.)

Anyone else wanna give it a whirl?

L'Shanah Tovah

To all my friends who celebrate Rosh Hashanah, I wish you a happy and healthy new year! We're all heading over to Lauren's later for the big meal—she'll be celebrating the fact that her power came back on yesterday after being off for 5 hours! Luckily she had nothing already in the oven when it happened. My assignment was a dessert, so I'm about to revisit those yummy double-deckers I made over the summer.

What's the Question?

I started reading this list of the Top 529 Eternal Questions in Popular Music, but it got too weird and chatty, so let's do one ourselves, shall we? They started off with these:

How many roads must a man walk down?
What if God was one of us?
Who let the dogs out?

So, here are the first few that pop into my head:

Should I stay or should I go?
Do you really want to hurt me?
What do you want the girl to do?
What's love got to do with it?
Where have all the flowers gone?
What's so funny 'bout peace, love, and understanding?

Ready? Go for it.

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

Here's what I learned this week:

Scout and Guide movement in the Czech Republic is served by

• Junák, member of the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts and of the World Organization of the Scout Movement
• Asociace Skautek a Skautů Evropy (ASSE), belonging to the Union Internationale des Guides et Scouts d'Europe [1]
• Skaut-Ceský Scouting ABS (nonaligned to a supranational organization) [2]
• Svaz Skautů a Skautek (nonaligned to a supranational organization) [3]
• YMCA-Skaut (nonaligned to a supranational organization) [4]
• Harcerstwo Polskie w Republice Czeskiej (a Polish emigré Scout group) [5]
• Serving the Czech community outside of the country is a combined Scouts-in-Exile organization, Czech and Slovak Scouts Abroad

Emblems

Junák

YMCA-Skaut

Czech and Slovak Scouts Abroad

I was never any kind of scout, were you? Steph was a Brownie for two years when I was the leader, then she took a year off when I quit, then she rejoined and "flew up" (wheeee!) to become a full-fledged Girl Scout, but she announced this year that she's done.

Walk the Walk

Today we finally got all that rain they've been promising us—and then some. Unfortunately, tonight was supposed to be the back-to-school picnic, so that'll be postponed a week. Julie, always a true Pollyanna, remarked as we walked home from school under our umbrellas, "Well, at least it's a great day for the plants!"

Speaking of which, we have an easy walk of just over a quarter-mile, and we even live on the same side of the street as the school, so we just have to cross a few side streets. Pretty much the only time we drive is when the sidewalks are impassable, which happens sometimes during the winter when the sidewalk plow doesn't come in time and the snowbanks freeze over.

Any kid who lives more than 1 mile from school can ride the bus—I think they have to pay for it, though. Many parents still drive their kids to school every day, some for legitimate reasons (e.g., they have to scramble to get another kid to daycare across town and then make it to work on time, someone in the family is on crutches) and some just because they or their kids are lazy or always late. I've seen people who live closer to the school than I do driving every single day!

The school and the PTO are always trying to encourage more people to walk—for the exercise and camaraderie and to cut down on traffic in general. On the first day of school this year, anyone who walked to school got a shiny little backpack tag. (Bus kids could jog around the school twice to earn a tag.) But you know what? Nothing will change. Lazy people are lazy. The same people who drive to school every day are also the ones who don't read the school notices to find out about initiatives like this anyhow. Sigh.

Scattergories

James admitted that this was more interesting and enjoyable than he'd anticipated, and I have to agree.

RULES:
* Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things … nothing made up!
* Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same first initial. You can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

What is your name? Karen 

4-letter word: Kiss 

Vehicle: Kia 

TV Show: "Kitchen Confidential" 

City: Kingston

Boy Name: Kevin 

Girl Name: Kathleen

Alcoholic Drink: Kahlua

Occupation: Kindergarten Teacher

Something you wear: Keds

Celebrity: Katherine Hepburn

Food: Kiwi

Something found in a bathroom: Kleenex

Reason for Being late: Kitten Threw Up in Briefcase

Cartoon Character: Kiki (from "Kiki's Delivery Service")

Something You Shout: "Kids! Clear the kitchen table now!"

Play along if you like—it really was kinda fun.

Health and Wellness Update

1. I went back to the gym today after 4 weeks off. YOWCH! (That's me, getting out of bed tomorrow.)

2. Andy's sciatica is still bad, but at least he can sit and lie down comfortably now. He still can't exercise, which bums him out to no end. Although he appears to be back to normal, he said that if this is all the relief he can expect, he'd schedule surgery for tomorrow. His chiropractor says he's on the right track, but it's always a slow climb.

3. Steph had a good checkup with Dr. Israel today. We normally wait 6 months to see her, but her iron was quite low back in May and she'd had some bleeding, so we did 4 months instead. Well, good news: Her iron was back up and everything else was OK too (slightly elevated sed. rate, but not alarmingly so).

4. Steph and Julie saw Dr. Bhatt last week. Steph goes just to check for inflammation in the back of the eyes, which can be a problem for some colitis patients, but she checked out just fine. Julie is doing well with her very strong single-prescription glasses. Her left eye still crosses as soon as she takes them off though, prompting her to say things like, "I know which one is the real you, Mama!" Dr. Bhatt said that's normal, and contact lenses (when she's 12ish) will solve it.

5. Steph and Pete saw the dentist last week. "There is no room at the inn" is all I can say about Pete's lower jaw. One more new tooth and something explosive might happen. The dentist told us to start saving for orthodontia now. There goes the "found money" for not having to pay for preschool anymore! Fortunately Steph seems to be in good shape in that department.

No Depression Here

Every now and then someone de-lurks and either posts a comment or sends me an email message, and it really brightens my day. Friday I got an email from Jeff, who just recently came upon Verbatim and is now working his way backward through the Archives (now there's a scary thought!). Anyhow, when he came to a post from last year in which I begged for new music suggestions, he just had to chime in. And I'm so glad he did! I was aware that the Uncle Tupelo album "No Depression" had spawned an entire genre of music, whether you call it cowpunk or alt.country or just plain "new American music," but I didn't know that there's also a magazine by that name! I spent most of Saturday browsing the site, listening to new music, downloading quite a few terrific free tracks, reading interesting articles, and, finally, subscribing to the magazine. You can get a year's worth (6 issues) for $20 plus they'll throw in a free CD (and there's a nice selection to choose from). The subscription price at Amazon is $28, so this is quite a deal. However, I did still manage to fill my Amazon cart with CDs as the day wore on—wow! There is a ton of great music I didn't even know existed.

So, many thanks to Jeff for that hot tip—plus the long list of other artists he listed for me to try. And for all you other lurkers out there: I hope someday you'll take the plunge and write to me too!

The Grass Is Never Greener

We're expecting a thunderstorm any minute now, and it's about time. Someone said yesterday that this past August was the driest August in the history of the planet. Or something like that. Anyhow, we just can't be bothered with watering our lawn—the waste of water, the pain in the neck of setting up and moving the sprinklers, etc. Plus the kids destroy the grass with their bikes and baseball games anyhow. So, this lovely photo is what our "lawn" looks like now. There's this weird little fringe of green all along the driveway—I think it's actually some hardy species of grasslike weed—but otherwise it looks like someone knocked over a big haystack and spread it out all over our yard.

More About Process Than Product

Well, this is unusual, because I'm going to give you a recipe for something that we thought was just so-so. The reason? It was a very clever and fun technique, and I'd love it if someone out there could play with it a bit and get back to me with some ideas to jazz it up. I mean, we ate it all and enjoyed it well enough, but the flavor was ultimately underwhelming. Ready?

Jambalaya "Hobo Packs"

1. Combine ½ lb. sliced andouille or kielbasa (I used turkey kielbasa), ¼ lb. (about 1 cup) shredded rotisserie or other cooked chicken, 1 cup sliced onion, 1 cup chopped yellow bell pepper, ⅔ cup sliced celery, ⅔ cup halved grape tomatoes, and ⅔ cup sliced okra (first time I ever bought okra!) with 2 Tbsp minced garlic, 2 Tbsp olive oil, and 2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley; season to taste with salt and pepper:

2. Combine 1 lb. peeled jumbo shrimp with 2 Tbsp brown sugar, 1 Tbsp olive oil, 2 tsp paprika, and ¼ tsp Tabasco; season with salt and pepper. Divy up the sausage-chicken mixture onto four large foil squares, top with the shrimp mixture (should be 3–4 shrimp each), and put ½ Tbsp of cubed cold butter on top of each:

3. Fold over the foil and crimp the edges to make four tight packets:

4. Grill until the packets puff up, about 8–10 minutes. You're really just steaming the veggies and shrimp, since the sausage and chicken are already fully cooked. Let them sit for a couple of minutes and then open carefully, because the steam comes pouring out:

5. Serve over rice, with lemon wedges (not shown):

Neat idea, huh? And it wasn't hard at all. So help me out, willya? What can I do to enhance the flavor?