4 strips bacon, cut into ½" pieces
3 lb. ground dark-meat turkey
4 cups chopped onions
¼ cup minced garlic
2 medium fresh jalapeño chiles, minced (ribs and seeds removed, if desired)
3 Tbsp chili powder
3 Tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
4 tsp ground cumin
2 (28-oz.) cans whole peeled tomatoes in purée
2 Tbsp unsulfured molasses
1 cup water
4 tsp coarse salt
3 (15-oz.) cans black beans, drained and rinsed
Heat your biggest Dutch oven over medium heat. Add bacon; cook until crisp and brown, 6–8 minutes. Raise heat to high; add turkey. Cook, stirring and breaking up meat with a spoon, until no longer pink, 8–10 minutes.
Add onion, garlic, and jalapeno; cook until soft, stirring often, about 5 minutes. Stir in chili powder, cocoa powder, and cumin; cook, stirring, until fragrant, 1 minute.
Break up tomatoes with a spoon or your hands (fun!), and stir them in along with the puree. Add molasses, water, and salt; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer; cook, partially covered, 30 minutes.
Add beans; continue cooking, uncovered, until meat and beans are very tender and chili is thick, about 30 minutes more. Serve with shredded cheddar cheese, sour cream, tortilla chips, cornbread, whatever.