Listen to this five-year-old girl talking to the 911 guy while an ambulance comes to save her daddy (spoiler: They get there in time!). If you aren't wiping away tears by the end of the six minutes, you officially have a black spider's nest where your heart used to be.
How credit cards work, by Jon Stewart.
Here's a science, religion, and pop music joke all in one image.
This is the monster bug that tormented me in my office all day Thursday—I've seen bigger lobsters in my life! I offered the kids money to kill it but got no takers. Andy finally did the deed when he got home.