1. Vomiting shall commence very early on a Saturday morning, to prevent parents from "sleeping in" and to ensure that any doctor they've ever heard of will be unreachable.
2. Vomiting shall be performed by oldest child, who already suffers from a chronic condition, thereby preventing her from taking her prescription meds.
3. Vomiting shall continue throughout the day. Infinitesimal amounts of water and saltines shall be ingested and rapidly regurgitated.
4. Vomiter shall manage to avoid beach towels draped over couch and thoroughly coat two cushions with vomit. Vomit shall seep into crevices at edge of piping on said cushions.
5. Laundry done the previous day shall have emerged from the dryer imbued with a strange toxic smell. The appliance repairman shall assert that he can't help unless it's a hot, burning smell and that a new dryer ought to be purchased. Meanwhile, vomiter shall produce prodigious quantities of soiled bedding, towels, and clothing. Parents shall take turns driving to relative's house to use dryer.
6. Younger brother of vomiter shall become bored and frustrated, crying that he's getting no attention and awaking vomiter from first vomit-free nap all day.
7. Younger sister of vomiter shall become obsessed with brushing her teeth, causing her to disappear into the bathroom at regular intervals, only to emerge completely soaked, grinning and announcing, "I bwush teef! Nice and kyean!" Parents shall add her wet and toothpaste-stained clothing to seemingly insurmountable laundry pile.
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March 08, 2004
Comments
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So true. I must say that, as a 26 year old who had the 24 hour bug yesterday, it apparently doesn't change one bit from when we were 3.
Posted by: Andrew | January 23, 2006 at 12:58 PM
Oh. Oooooohhhh. So sorry. :(
Posted by: Mir | August 03, 2006 at 08:58 AM
I just went throught it for the first time in my life. And I'm 176 years old. Man, if there had been a man with a gun, I would have asked him to shoot me. It was absolute hell! Now, two days after, I'm still weak and shaking in my boots and my neck and back hurt from all the postering in front of the sink. I don't throw up in toilets, I can't think of anything more horrible... Thanks for sharing. Now I know I wasn't the only one who's ever gone through it...
Posted by: hani angelos | December 06, 2006 at 08:25 PM
Oh, by the way, you are a fabulously funny writer...
Posted by: hani angelos | December 06, 2006 at 08:27 PM
YEA MY 3 KIDS AND MY HUBBY HAS IT AS I WRITE MY 2YR OLD STARTED IT THEM MY 7YR OLD WAS NEXT HE ONLY MADE IT ON THE FLOOR AND SOFA O AND HIS SELF OF COURSE AND THEN AT 3PM MY 5YR. OLD BUT SHE DID GREAT SHES THE ONLY ONE THAT MADE IT TO THE TRASH CAN MY POOR KIDS I FEEL SO BAD FOR THEM BUT NOW ALL OF THEM ARE FINE ITS 11AM BUT NOW MY HUBBY HAS IT SO ME AND MY 11YR OLD BROTHER ARE LEFT WHOS NEXT LOL
Posted by: candace | October 14, 2007 at 12:26 PM
iv got it as well i cant drink or eat anything without being sick i hate it and im at work but am allowed to leave early coz of it
Posted by: jake martin | December 17, 2007 at 07:37 AM
i have the bug and its HELL
Posted by: fordy | February 09, 2008 at 02:29 PM
its hell im at home and it is like someone hitting u in the stomach
Posted by: chris | June 02, 2008 at 08:13 AM
I love the fact that it doesn't matter in which position you lay it is impossible to get comfortable...and when you're sitting on the the most horrible vomit you can imagine springs up....
Posted by: Chris | October 26, 2008 at 10:47 PM
i have the 24hour sick bug and a sore throat the same time so its hell! last time i had the bug which was this time last year my grandmother gave me lemonade to sip and it helped a bit.
Posted by: ellie | December 31, 2008 at 09:39 AM
I'm sitting here embarking on my first hour of the 24hr. said bug...I feel like crap and to top it off I'm at work but will be off in one more hour..I work the night shift..Anyway, while searching the web for causes and reason and just general info on this plague i ran across your blog. Just wanted to say while being sick it's not the best of stuff to read at said time if you know what I mean...it's rather disgusting.
Posted by: Benjamin | February 04, 2009 at 11:55 PM
Was infected with this for the first time since childhood 2 days ago, the most horrible feeling in the world. and then again and again and again until i forgot what feeling was. back in work now after 1 day off and it is not good:$
Posted by: Michael | February 13, 2009 at 10:40 PM
currently infected...argh the PAIN! HATE HATE HATE it!!
Posted by: Heather | April 04, 2009 at 07:57 AM
Matches perfect
Posted by: J T | February 18, 2013 at 10:01 PM