verbatim

"Second Term"

The Jib-Jab folks have a new one.

Photogenic-ness

I made my favorite frittata tonight; this time I took a photo:

It's still not terribly photogenic, but the taste and texture are divine.

Speaking of photogenic (or not): All my life, I've been the one who ruins all the group photos by blinking just as the photo is taken. It was never intentional; it just happened. There must be hundreds of photos of me around the world with my eyes closed. Then, years ago at my cousin Nancy's wedding, a wonderful thing happened. As usual, I warned the photographer that he should watch me when he shot our table; if I closed my eyes, he should take another shot. He then gave me two terrific, fool-proof hints. First, he said, "Close your eyes now. I will count to three, and on the count of three, fling your eyes open and I'll snap the photo. You won't have time to blink." Well, you know what? It works! I have done that ever since! I just ask the photographer (be it a professional or a family member at a holiday gathering) to count to three and hit the shutter on three. I always have my eyes open now! The other trick was this: He told me that if I see white blobs in front of my eyes after the photo is taken, my eyes were open (they saw the flash). If I see red blobs, my eyes were closed (they saw the flash through my eyelids). This one works too! So if I didn't get to ask the photographer to do the count to three thing, or if I fear he waited too long to snap the shot and I might have blinked, I have the white vs. red blobs trick to fall back on.

Movies

I am a bad person. I am a Philistine. I don't know shit from Shinola. I couldn't finish watching "Seven Samurai." I really, really tried. I could probably count on one hand the number of times I've ever fallen asleep during a movie, but this was one of them—and that was on the second night. It was just plain too long and too slow, and I couldn't get over the dated feeling, with all the overacting and such. Sorry. Please try to still love me.

I still can't decide what I thought of "You Can Count on Me." It didn't suck, but I can't tell if it was good or not. I found the characters and their relationship and dialogue refreshingly natural. But for some reason I can't quite come out and say I liked it.

Margaret has been urging me to see "Goodbye, Lenin!" for some time now, and I finally know why. What a terrific movie! It was just beautiful.

A Shitty Day

Julie pooped in her underpants THREE TIMES today. Then, when I put her in a diaper for naptime, she managed to poop out the sides of the diaper all over everything. And then didn't even nap. She has never before pooped four times in one day.

Stephanie is coming down with a cold/cough. When she gets sick, it seems to trigger a mini-flareup of her colitis. So I've been asking her to call for me when she poops, and I have indeed seen some blood when I wipe her. She had diarrhea today too. We happen to have her 8-year-old well visit tomorrow, so maybe I'll ask them to do a quick finger-prick to make sure her hemoglobin hasn't dropped since her blood test a couple of weeks ago. And I think I'll contact her GI just to make sure we shouldn't be taking some sort of action.

Pete said he had a "mushy" poop and asked me to wipe him.

So, after all this, I half expected Andy to ask me to wipe his butt when he walked through the door tonight. Instead he mixed me a nice, stiff drink.

QOTW

Your house is on fire. Your pets, your loved ones, and all your family photographs are miraculously safe; you have enough time to get any other one item from your house. What is that item?

My first thought was my iPod—after all, it has all my music on it. But no, make it my iMac, which has all my music plus all my photos plus all my everything else.

Pronunciation Guide?

Does anyone know the proper pronunciation for Roger Angell's last name? I've always said it with a soft g, as in the word angel, but accenting both syllables equally—that is, really saying the word gel for the last syllable. But I recently heard someone say it with a hard g, as in the word angle.

Shaken, Not Stirred

Last night was Martini Night at our neighborhood social club (it is not a country club, and we are working very hard to make sure it doesn't turn into one!). I expected it to be more or less a cocktail party that featured different martini-style drinks, like the Cosmopolitan. I know that these are not, in fact, real martinis—indeed, I've often wondered how someone decides to call a particular mixed drink a martini. I always see blogs that say something like, "My favorite martini is the chocolate [or sour apple or honeydew] martini." These aren't martinis, folks! These are cocktails. Anyhow, that was what I expected—and, truth to be told, hoped for. Cosmopolitans may not be martinis, but  they do taste nice. But no, this was an exploration of the classic martini, which consists only of gin or vodka (although I suppose there are even those who would dispute whether a vodka martini is a true martini), vermouth, a tiny bit of cold water given off by the ice it's shaken in, and an olive garnish or a lemon twist. Here are just a few of the interesting martini facts we learned from the host, or "ethnobooziologist," as he called himself:

1. Something "magical" (i.e., chemical) happens when vodka/gin is mixed with vermouth and a tiny bit of water. He kept referring to the alcohol "knitting" together in the presence of water.
2. For a martini, it's better to keep the alcohol in the fridge than the freezer. You want a martini to be as cold as possible, but if the alcohol is almost as cold as the ice, when you shake it, you won't get any water from the ice, and then the knitting thing won't happen.
3. You should fill the martini glass with crushed ice, which you dump out just before pouring the martini in; that chills your glass without diluting the martini.
4. The reason for the long stem on a martini glass is so that you can hold it without allowing the warmth of your hand to raise the temperature of the drink (the opposite of a brandy snifter, which you're supposed to cup in your sweaty little mitt).
5. Opinions differ on the ideal ratio of vodka/gin to vermouth; some say 7-1, others 5-1.*
6. The reason for shaking, not stirring, is to make sure that the vermouth and the ice mix fully with the vodka/gin, again to encourage the knitting thing.

We sat with Rebecca and Mihai during the PowerPoint presentation (I'm not kidding!) and tastings. I have never liked gin, and I continued to not like gin at this event—not even the good stuff in a perfect martini. It tastes like perfume to me, and I don't even like the smell. But, surprisingly enough, I didn't much care for the vodka martini either. I've had vodka martinis before and liked them well enough, so maybe I like only martinis that aren't authentically made. In fact, Rebecca said the martinis she has served me at her house are made in a ratio of 2-1 (because she loves vermouth). So maybe I love vermouth too. But I'm pretty sure I love vodka more. Go figure. Andy, on the other hand, was very happy with his gin martini(s). He now wants to buy a shaker, a strainer, and martini glasses.

Anyhow, I regretted that I'd limited myself to only one glass of wine at dinner beforehand, thinking I'd be having a couple of Cosmos. We had eaten at a little pub nearby, and I had a delicious chicken pot pie. Instead of a crust, it was served in a hollowed-out crusty round bread, about the size of a grapefruit. A circle was cut in the top as a kind of lid. Andy doesn't like "comfort foods," like chicken pot pie, macaroni and cheese, or even mashed potatoes, so I rarely bother to make them at home and instead look for a chance to eat them at restaurants or buy them prepared as take-out.

*I'm reminded of Roger Angell's essay on martinis in The New Yorker a couple of years ago. He tells this old joke: If you're ever lost in the woods and can't find your way out, just announce in a loud voice that you know how to make the perfect martini. Three people will suddenly appear out of nowhere to dispute you!

Fried Chicken Lessons

Here are some things Andy and I learned last night while attempting to make Chris Kimball's latest version of fried chicken. I say "attempting" because we thought we could just use our deep-fat fryer even though the recipe was written for a Dutch oven over a flame. 

1. 4 cups of Crisco isn't enough to reach the "minimum" line in the fryer, even after it melts.
2. The deep-fat fryer will shut itself off after it starts to burn.
3. Even after you pour in two quarts of peanut oil (because you don't have any more Crisco, since you never use it and bought it specifically for this recipe), enough to pass the "minimum" line, the fryer will not go back on.
4. If you would just check the manual that came with the fryer, you would see that it specifically says that you have to press the reset button after the fryer has shut itself off because of overheating.
5. The only thing long and skinny enough to fit in the little reset button hole is the tiny screwdriver that's used for tightening eyeglasses.
6. A recipe written for a Dutch oven over a flame allows for temperature fluctuations; a deep-fat fryer does not. This means that you will end up with an exquisitely brown, crunchy coating on your chicken while the meat itself might best be called "still alive."
7. You can eventually finish cooking the chicken and it will still taste yummy (even cold in sandwiches the next day). All's well that ends well!

I'll post the recipe the next time we try it—in a Dutch oven over a flame, I promise.

Toileting 101

Stephanie and Pete both toilet-trained instantly. They put on underwear, peed once, looked down in horror, and that was it. No more accidents. Ever.

Julie, on the other hand, is taking her own sweet time with this. Here are two truths I've gleaned so far:

1. The way to get your child interested in toilet-training at all is to buy two jumbo packages of pullups and open them both: one for upstairs and the other for downstairs. Your child will instantly want to wear underpants instead, before you ever actually extract a single pullup from either package.

(Note that when I speak of pullups, I'm not actually referring to Huggies brand Pull-ups, but to Pampers brand Easy-ups, which I prefer for a number of reasons (and, believe it or not, I am aware that no one wants to know what those reasons are). I use the word pullups the way I use the words scotch tape or xerox or thermos or kleenex. They're brand names that, at least for me, have crossed over to become the word for the item, regardless of brand. Rollerblades, jello, velcro, go-gurt . . . you get the idea.)

2. The way to get your child to poop, particularly if she hasn't pooped in two days, is to take off her hand-me-down Winnie the Pooh underwear and put on her brand-new Care Bears underwear. She will immediately defecate—in them. If you want her to poop again, because, after all, two days is a long time to have been holding it, put on her brand-new Dora the Explorer underwear. She will produce yet another stool—again, without even making a move toward the bathroom. If you don't want her to poop anymore, put on her diaper for naptime. It will remain spotless even after 2 hours.

Graner Convicted, Google Still at Large

Before:

After:

Hanan wonders whether Charles Graner was advised by his lawyers to shave his 'stache and get kinder, gentler glasses for his trial (didn't work, though). More importantly, he wonders this: "What political or editorial powers forced Google to delete all the photos of the Abu Ghraib torture from their directory, and what other such censorships do they quietly perform?" I'd like to know that, too.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: If you could have a free subscription to any online service, which would you like to have?
salon.com

Soup: Describe your bathroom (furnishings, colors, etc.).
Horrible, horrible, horrible. Oh, and tiny. 1920s tankless toilet (I don't mind that so much, actually). Equally ancient tub with jury-rigged* oval-shaped shower curtain rod and showerhead, which means—ugh-ugh-ugh—shower curtain and liner. Hideous early-1960s vanity with cracked faux marble sink, hard-to-turn faucets, and a frequently clogged drain. The tile is sand-colored; the wallpaper yellowish with a little green.

*jury rig means to construct or arrange in a makeshift fashion
jerry build means to build shoddily, flimsily, and cheaply
jerry rig means nothing, so don't use it.

Salad: What does the shape of a triangle make you think of?
My kids. In any three-way relationship, there will always be things shared by each of the three pairs of people. For instance, Pete and Steph do most of the "big kid" stuff together: go to school, go to swimming, go to movies. Julie and Steph do girl stuff together, like playing with their Polly Pockets. And Julie and Pete have a lot of games they play together—and I suspect that when Julie's a little older, they'll be sharing more similar-age activities that will have become too babyish for Steph. My two sisters and I have a similar triangular relationship. (I'm also reminded of a friend's anecdote. She was in bed, and her three kids were fighting over who got to lie next to Mama. She finally lost it and said, "You can't ALL be next to me! I am not a triangle!")

Main Course: Name 3 things or activities that you consider to be luxuries.
1. taking a long, hot bubble bath—uninterrupted!
2. sleeping until I awaken on my own
3. a weekend alone with Andy

Dessert: What was the last really great movie you watched?
"Hero"

Friday Random Ten

Once again, I'm just using iTunes since I'm too lazy to go downstairs and get my iPod.

1. Fragile - Nanci Griffith       
2. Marie - Randy Newman
3. Shuckin' Sugar - Peter Keane
4. Cryin' Shame - Lyle Lovett
5. If These Teardrops Had Wings - Vance Gilbert
6. Sailing To Philadelphia - Mark Knopfler/James Taylor
7. These Cold Fingers - Bill Morrissey       
8. Big River Blues - Jorma Kaukonen
9. Almost Blue - Elvis Costello
10. The Obvious Child - Paul Simon

Movies

I watched "Bad(der) Santa" last night. It was really bad. Andy couldn't even finish watching it. There were definitely some good laughs in it, and I do like Billy Bob Thornton, but it was mostly just bad.

After I watched "Being There" and posted about how it was a classic I'd missed out on, Andy added "Seven Samurai" to our Netflix queue for that very reason. Coincidentally enough, Karine had bought it for her hubby for Christmas because he'd never seen it either! We'll watch it tomorrow.

Jennie brought over "Ella Enchanted" for the kids to watch, but I didn't get to see it. Speaking of kids' movies, we finally own "My Neighbor Totoro," so Julie can watch it every day now....

Hold the Ham Hock

Here's a version of Hoppin' John I made last night. It was very tasty (as were cold leftovers eaten standing up by the sink today) but very soupy; it did thicken up a bit on standing but still needed to be served with a slotted spoon.

2 tbsp olive oil
1 large Spanish onion, coarsely chopped
2 large carrots, coarsely chopped
1 clove garlic, pressed
1/2 lb. chicken or turkey andouille sausage, sliced (I still swear by Amy's chicken andouille, which I get at Costco)
1 cup dried black-eyed peas
4 cups chicken stock
6 cups water
1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme (I didn't notice it said fresh—whoops!—so I used the same amount of dried, which didn't seem overpowering)
3/4 cup long-grain brown rice

In a large pot, heat the oil and cook the onion and carrots over medium-high heat, stirring often, for 10 minutes. Add the garlic and sausage and cook for 1 minute more.

Add the black-eyed peas, stock, and water. Bring to a boil, lower the heat, and cook for 45 minutes.

Add the thyme, salt and peper to taste, and rice. Bring to a boil. Let the mixture boil vigorously for 1 minute.

Turn down the heat, cover the pot, and simmer, without stirring, for 45–50 minutes or until the peas and rice are both tender.

Let stand for 15 minutes before stirring.

New (For Me, Anyhow) Music

Live in Texas
I don't know how I missed a live Lyle Lovett album, particularly since it came out about 5 years ago and features his Large Band. This is great stuff. I love hearing new versions of favorite songs.

Wonderful World
I must be the last person to get an Eva Cassidy CD. She has a dynamite voice. I can't quite put my finger on what style to call it; she does some blues, some folk, some pop, some of everything, it seems. Apparently this is a companion compilation disc to Songbird, which I intend to get also. Cassidy died at age 33 from cancer, so there won't be any more recordings from her.

Search for Banned Arms In Iraq Ended Last Month

Mac alerted me to this breaking news in today's Washington Post:

The hunt for biological, chemical and nuclear weapons in Iraq has come to an end nearly two years after President Bush ordered U.S. troops to disarm Saddam Hussein.

Oops! So it would appear that all those American soldiers and Iraqi civilians are dying every day for no real reason! But don't worry, it's not that expensive:

But how much did the search for the WMD cost? We'll never know:

Congress allotted hundreds of millions of dollars for the weapons hunt, and there has been no public accounting of the money. A spokesman for the Pentagon's Defense Intelligence Agency said the entire budget and the expenditures would remain classified.

Onset of SAD?

I fear Julie may grow up to suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. She gets extremely worried and upset whenever the sun isn't out. It's the first thing she notices when we go outside. "Where's de sun? When will de sun come out again?" It really seems to affect her mood. She also worries that she's going to be cold. She says she doesn't want to go to school because she'll be freezing when they go outside. I know she's never freezing, because she gets all bundled up in her snow gear, and they haven't even gone out on a really cold day yet anyhow. Today she was also concerned that if she puts her hat on by herself, her hair will be "winding" (with a short "i" sound, as in "the wind will be blowing"). As it turns out, it's raining, so they aren't going outside today, but I made sure she heard me tell the teachers to help her with her hat anyhow. On top of that, she didn't want to sit on the toilet and try to pee, but I made her do it at home and at school, and she still didn't pee even once! She was furious, because she didn't want to try. So I left her crying at school, although I stood in the hallway until one of the teachers waved to me that she was OK. Sigh.

The Anti-Spam

Now that's a comment! (By the way, does anyone out there want to try their hand at PhotoShopping the baby carriage out of my hair?)

UPDATE: Thanks to Steve for digitally excising the baby carriage (for those new to verbatim, in the background of my photo there used to be a baby carriage that looked like it was perched on top of my head).

Here Comes the Story of the Hurricane

There was nothing not to like about "The Hurricane," but somehow I didn't flip over it the way I feel I should have. Denzel gave one of his best performances ever—and that's saying a lot. Knowing that the story is true (although a wee bit fictionalized, as is admitted at the beginning and is to be expected) made it that much more powerful. Really, you can't help but be moved when you stop and think about this guy's life and how the biggest and best part of it was stolen from him, and he still never snapped. But for some reason it didn't deliver the TKO it should have. Maybe because if I'm going to have a Dylan song stuck in my head, I'd probably pick "Don't Think Twice, It's Alright" or "Positively 4th Street" or "Boots of Spanish Leather" or . . . Hey, while we're here, what's your favorite Bob Dylan song?

Ewwww

Flavors I Don't Like, Which Usually Rules Out Most of the Items on Any Given Menu

mustard

horseradish

fennel/anise

cilantro (Well, I don't exactly hate this, but I don't much like it either. Same goes for tarragon.)

Fun with Word Breaks

Do you think the people at Pen Island ("Your source for the best pens!") know that their Web address (http://penisland.net) looks like it reads Penis Land? Reminds me of a psychology book I proofread once. The word therapist was broken from one line to the next, but somehow the hyphen had been deleted, so it said the rapist.

Toilet-Training Update

Well, I was shocked—Julie was dry when I picked her up at school yesterday! She happily used the toilet there (it's so low and small, who could blame her?), with much reminding and prodding from her teachers. She then had one little accident in the afternoon. But later she pooped in her underpants. From what I can gather, she doesn't want to poop in the toilet, so I told her she can put on a pullup when she feels a poop coming. We did this with Pete until he got over that particular phobia. Now we are off for our pre-op appointment with the pediatrician to clear her for surgery in 2 weeks. I also want to try to remember to ask about flu shots; when Steph got hers, there wasn't enough for Pete and Julie, but I hear there's plenty now. Andy and I never got ours yet either.

Hurry Up and Wait

Stephanie's GI appointment was cancelled today, and we couldn't get another one for 3 weeks. The really annoying part is that she already had her blood drawn last Wednesday so the results would be ready to discuss today. Not that I expect anything to change in 3 weeks, but I wish the GI would be seeing the most recent possible numbers. Oh well, the good news is that everything looks good, in particular: 39.8 crit and 13.3 hemoglobin!

Monday Random Ten

I never seem to have my iPod handy* on Fridays when Roxanne calls for a Friday Random Ten, so I'm doing mine today.

INSTRUCTIONS FOR NEWBIES:

• Fire up that IPOD, MP3, or other digital media player.
  
• Set it to random play.
  
• List the first 10 songs.

1. Old Camp Meeting Time - Doc Watson
2. Willow - Joan Armatrading       
3. La Chula - Maná
4. I Know What I Know - Paul Simon
5. Gimme What You Got - Keb' Mo'
6. The Weight (live) - Grateful Dead/Allman Brothers   
7. Purple Rain (live) - Martin Sexton
8. Lord Don't Forsake Me - Alison Krauss & Union Station
9. Lie in Our Graves - Dave Matthews Band
10. Crazy Baldhead - Bob Marley & The Wailers

*It only just occurred to me that I can do it on iTunes, without my iPod. D'oh!

Do You Have to Pee? Do You Feel One? How About Now? Now? Wanna Just Try?

Guess how many members of my family are wearing underwear today? All 5 of us! (Well, Andy left before I was up, but I'm assuming he's wearing some.) Yes, Julie is officially wearing Big Girl Underpants today. We've been talking about it a lot lately, but I was a little gun-shy after our aborted toilet-training effort in August. Yesterday she was eager to try, so we did. She had a couple of accidents but also a few triumphs. So today I sent her to school in underwear! I packed every pair of underwear and pants that she owns, and I'll be shocked if she comes home in the same ones she had on this morning. But as long as she doesn't get upset, I don't mind, and the teachers at our preschool are great about toilet training. So we might be on our way to a diaper-free home at last!

More Burt's Bees Love

Remember how excited I was to discover Burt's Bees coconut foot creme? Can you even imagine how I feel now, to discover that a $9 tube (actually $9.99 at Whole Foods) is on sale at their Web site for $4.50? I ordered 5 tubes, the limit, plus enough other stuff to earn me free shipping (lip shimmer for $1.75? Get outta town!).

Cartoon Found by Andy's Mom

Two New Recipes

Aren't these pretty?

Oven Fries with Crisp Sage Leaves

Preheat oven to 400°.

Cut baking potatoes lengthwise into 3/8" slices. Toss in bowl with olive oil and kosher salt.

Place potatoes in single layer on baking sheet and bake for 40 minutes, or until golden brown on the bottom.

Drag whole sage leaves through more olive oil and kosher salt. Working with one potato slice at a time, lift potato slice from baking sheet with a thin spatula. Lay 1 sage leaf on baking sheet and cover with potato slice, browned side down again. Repeat with remaining potato slices and sage leaves. Bake for 10 minutes.

Carefully turn potato slices over, with leaves on top. Bake for another 10 minutes or until bottoms begin to brown.

We had these with plain ol' roast chicken. And for dessert:

Chocolate Hazelnut Tart

Andy was jonesing for this all day, but he didn't feel like making the graham cracker crust, so he bought a prepared one (blasphemy! but quick!). Here's the recipe for the filling; go here if you want to make the crust from scratch:

1 cup hazelnuts (about 4.75 oz.), coarsely chopped
1 cup heavy cream
10.5 oz. fine-quality bitterwsweet chocolate, coarsely chopped
1/2 cup Nutella
1/8 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350°. Toast hazelnuts in a shallow baking pan until golden, about 7 minutes. Transfer to a plate and cool.

Bring cream to a boil in a saucepan, the pour over chocolate in a heatproof bowl, whisking until chocolate is melted and smooth. Whisk in Nutella until combined, then whisk in nuts and salt.

Pour filling into crust and refrigerate until set. Delish.

Dinner and a Movie

I couldn't wait any longer for "Hero" to come from Netflix and there I was in front of Blockbuster anyhow...so I rented it. It was great! All the actors were wonderful; Ziyi Zhang was the only slightly weak link. The cinematography was absolutely magnificent, and I do regret that we missed seeing this on the big screen. Some of the scenes—particularly those with the archers—must have been breathtaking. I also loved some of the more stylized camera-work, such as the drops of water frozen in mid-air. All in all, a compelling story, top-notch acting, and truly spectacular cinematography!

Because we were watching a movie about the Qin dynasty, we dined on...um...fajitas. My new favorite ingredient is canned chipotles in adobo sauce. Smoky and full-bodied, delish.

1 tsp garlic salt
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp oregano
2 tbsp olive oil
1 medium red pepper, cut into strips
1 medium onion, chopped
2 chipotle peppers in adobo, drained a bit and chopped
1 lb. boneless beef top loin steak, trimmed of fat
1 medium tomato, seeded and chopped
warm flour tortillas
guacamole

In a small bowl, combine garlic salt, cumin, and oregano. In a large skillet, heat 1 tablespoon of the oil over medium-high heat. Add 2 teaspoons of the spice mixture, the red pepper, onion, and chipotles. Cook, stirring, for 2–3 minutes or until just tender. Remove veggies with a slotted spoon; transfer to a bowl and cover to keep warm.

Add the remaining 1 tablespoon oil and the remaining 1 teaspoon spice mixture to skillet; add steak. Cook over medium heat for 10–12 minutes (depending on thickness of steak and degree of doneness you prefer), turning once. Transfer steak to cutting board, reserving drippings in skillet.

Return veggies to skillet. Stir in tomatoes and heat through. Thinly slice steak across grain and return to skillet.

Serve mixture in warm flour tortillas with guacamole (I didn't make my own; Whole Foods' guac is one of the best I've ever tasted!).

I also made rice:

1 tsp olive oil
1 medium onion, chopped
1 cup rice
1 clove garlic, pressed
1 14.5-oz. can diced tomatoes, UNdrained
3/4 cup water
1/2 cup frozen peas
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp pepper

In a pot, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add onion, rice, and garlic. Cook, stirring, until rice browns slightly, 1–2 minutes. Add remaining ingredients, cover, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low and simmer 20 minutes.

Sunday Brunch

Painting

1. What color (or colors) is your home painted on the interior?
The trim is either natural wood or painted Navajo white, the ceilings are ceiling white, and every room has different wallpaper. Really beautiful wallpaper—one of my friends still thanks me for being the one to expose her to high-quality wallpaper! Up till then, she had thought it was all tacky because that was all she'd ever seen.

2. What color (or colors) is your home painted on the exterior?
It's brick with off-white trim and red shutters and door. Yes, red. A horrible shade of red that clashes with the brick. Our next door neighbor's house is brick with beautiful cream trim and dark green shutters and door. It's so lovely that when we lived in our other (also brick) house, just around the corner, I sent the painters over to see her house and copy it exactly. (Ours had white trim and black shutters—can't remember what color the door was.) Anyhow, I'd love to repaint our house, but it's not in the budget—plus I haven't yet made up my mind if it would be OK to paint our house identical to our now-next-door neighbor's.

3. If you could paint your car any color with no loss in value, what color would it be?
Maybe just a slightly different shade of dark green so I could tell it apart from all the other dark green Honda Odysseys I see coming and going all day. Or maybe midnight blue.

4. Do you paint your fingernails and toenails? What is your favorite color for each if you do?
I paint my toenails dark reddish-brownish-purplish. I don't paint my fingernails.

5. Have you ever played paintball? Have you ever wanted to?
No. No.

Movies

Last night we watched "The Butterfly Effect," which was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. The story line is very clever: Imagine George Bailey not only gets to go back through his life, but he gets to change his behavior and thereby change the future. Instead of Jimmy Stewart, however, we get Ashton Kutcher. This was the first time I'd ever seen him, and I can't imagine what all the fuss is about. He's not that cute, and he can't act his way out of a paper bag. Was it just the Demi thing that caught everyone's attention? Not a single person in this movie could act. It was embarrassing. Moreover, there were far too many violent, traumatic incidents. It became a dark joke for me and Andy: "Let's see, we have kiddie porn, animal torture, murder, vandalism, paraplegia, stillbirth, crack whores...what are we missing? Oh yeah, time for prison rape!" Talk about a good idea flushed down the crapper.

The previous night we watched "Swimming with Sharks." Andy thought it was going to be that sort-of-recent one about the divers who were attacked by sharks (what's the name of it?), but it's about Kevin Spacey as a malicious, cut-throat Hollywood studio executive. He was perfect in the role, although it seemed over the top (or else I'm really out of touch with life in L.A.). Frank Whaley played his assistant; he was totally forgettable. The movie was OK, but it ended up a ridiculously implausible ending. Oh, but Benicio del Toro had a tiny part! Yum, yum. (And I forgot to mention that he had a cameo in "Bread and Roses" the other night, too.)

I just deleted "Hero" from the top of my Netflix queue, where it's been languishing in "short wait" purgatory—I stopped by Blockbuster and picked it up because we didn't have anything to watch tonight anyhow.

The Obligatory Blog Explosion Post

I've been thinking of writing a post about my Blog Explosion experience. The main reason I haven't done so is that one of the things I can't stand about many of the blogs I see on Blog Explosion is this: They're all about their Blog Explosion experiences! Please, we don't need to see a screenshot of the announcement that you just won 50 free credits! Who cares? Why would that news make me want to spent more than 28* seconds at your blog—or even consider returning? The truth is, Blog Explosion is a wee bit addicting, and it's fun. But really, it's not fun enough that anyone else cares about how much you enjoy it.

So. Here's what I've found.

There are lots and lots of way-right-wing political blogs out there. The ones (and they're few, I'll tell you) that can present well-thought-out, carefully worded, intelligent arguments are worth my 30 seconds. I like to know what people think, even if it's in direct opposition to what I believe, as long as it's thoughtful. As soon as I read 10 words of a hate-filled screed against everything and everyone not associated with Christian fundamentalism and George Bush, I immediately put that blog on the "Never show me this one again" list. The purportedly religious ones are sometimes the worst offenders, but there are a few heavily Jesus-oriented blogs that are not full of hate and intolerance—because Jesus was not full of hate and intolerance, get it? I read those blogs when they pop up. I'm trying to be objective here, but I've read many, many way-left-wing political blogs, and I can't think of a single one that's based on hate and intolerance.

There are blogs that cause me to groan and go check my e-mail. You know who you are. Blogs devoted to a pet fish, small business marketing tips, photos of boobs, teenage-speak ("So I was like OH MY GOD and she was like OH MY GOD and I was like OH MY GOD..."), and incomprehensible (to me) technology tips.

There are blogs that are so graphically and typographically horrible that I can't read them. Tiny lavender type on a black background. Leaping, flashing animated GIFs all over the place. Curly, swirly illegible fonts. Countless buttons and other things to click, and items in different columns. When confronted with one of those dizzying blogs, I immediately go check my Netflix queue in a new window.

I've discovered more than a few blogs that I've permanently bookmarked and now visit regularly (via Bloglines, which I'm loving!). At the same time, I've gained numerous regular readers to my own blog, which is gratifying. I love when I start getting comments from someone new, and then the comments start showing up on old posts, so I know that person is digging back through the Archives!

My strategy for posting this Blog Explosion post and not being one of those bloggers who  posts about Blog Explosion is to post it and then quickly post something else, so at least it's not the first thing to come up when the next Blog Explosion person surfs by. Oh, and if you aren't yet a Blog Explosion addict and want to become one, please use this link so I get referral credits.

*Yes, I know, it's incredibly risky behavior, but I've been experimenting with the timing of my click. I've discovered that you don't need to wait for the GO. You don't even need to wait for the 1. Yes, go ahead, click the 2, it works! But go no further: The 3 always yields a "Surfing too fast" warning. Now you know.

Update 4/28/09: For some reason, this post attracts more spambots than usual, so I'm closing off comments. Feel free to email me if you want to make a (legitimate!) comment to this post.

Who Said That?

How's this for typical anti-American, anti-God, liberal spew:

However, on religious issues there can be little or no compromise. There is no position on which people are so immovable as their religious beliefs. There is no more powerful ally one can claim in a debate than Jesus Christ, or God, or Allah, or whatever one calls this supreme being. But like any powerful weapon, the use of God's name on one's behalf should be used sparingly. The religious factions that are growing throughout our land are not using their religious clout with wisdom. They are trying to force government leaders into following their position 100 percent. If you disagree with these religious groups on a particular moral issue, they complain, they threaten you with a loss of money or votes or both. I'm frankly sick and tired of the political preachers across this country telling me as a citizen that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and "D." Just who do they think they are? And from where do they presume to claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me? And I am even more angry as a legislator who must endure the threats of every religious group who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll call in the Senate. I am warning them today: I will fight them every step of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans in the name of "conservatism."

So, who do you suppose said that? Some bleeding-heart left-wing liberal nut? Nope. Try Barry Goldwater, Mr. Conservative himself (Congressional Record, September 16, 1981). See, this is what I've been saying. Real conservatives, real Republicans must be turning over in their graves. They'd be horrified to see how their party, their cause, their entire raison d'etre has been co-opted by the Christian fundamentalists.

Appreciate This

This is getting copied and pasted all over the blogosphere, but that's because it's spot on:

Appreciate this. Understand that the people killing us in Iraq aren't motivated by Gore Vidal or inspired by Susan Sontag or organized by Michael Moore or in cahoots in any  way with any of the right's celebrity piñatas - not literally, not metaphorically, not if you look at it in a certain way, not to any infinitesimal degree, not in any sense, not in any way at all. They do not lead a clandestine international conspiracy of Evil which has corrupted everything in every foreign country plus everything in America not owned by loyal Bush Republican apparatchiks; nor are they members of such a conspiracy; nor does a conspiracy remotely matching that description exist. To think otherwise is, literally and to a very great degree, insanity. It is insane.

And if you really want to help the American war effort, you can join the fucking armed forces and go to Iraq like thousands of others have, and then you can do the best job you can to show them that Americans care about them and want, above all else, for all of our futures to be better and more peaceful than the past, and get paid shit. You will then be my personal hero, really, and I hope you don't get killed or maimed or see or do something that makes you hate everything for the rest of your life, which is a very real possibility. If you, like me, are too much of a coward to risk your life and health on a mission like that, then you can donate to charities which help soldiers (although it is worth looking into where and what kind of help is needed – some places don’t need it as much as others).  But the easiest thing you can do is influence the politicians who create the policies – and in some cases the military strategies - which are being carried out in Iraq, but to do this in a useful way you first have to make some contact with reality. Reality is that the situation in Iraq is horrible, the outlook for any lasting peace is grim, and that this has nothing to do with a nebulous, malignant, all-powerful “Left”, and everything to do with the people in power who make bad and stupid policies. You can pull your head out of your ass, stop dreaming up stupid conspiracy theories about how everyone around the world you don’t like is working together to destroy Freedom, and tell them that they need to do a better job. And if they won’t do a better job, the solution is not to get upset at people who aren’t waving their pom-poms or denouncing Saddam single-mindedly enough for you, it is to fire the fuck-ups so we can maybe have some chance at salvaging something from this fiasco.

(Via the Poor Man)

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: Have you been sick yet this winter? If so, what did you come down with?
I think I had a cold already, but I can't really remember. Must not have been a bad one, eh?

Soup: What colors dominate your closet?
Black and green

Salad: How would you describe your personal "comfort zone"?
I don't really know what this one means. How 'bout this: At home wearing jeans and a T-shirt, sipping from the last glass of wine after dinner while watching a Netflix movie with Andy.

Main Course: On which reality show would you really like to be a contestant?
I've never watched any of them, but from what I've heard, they're all hellish. So, this might not count, but I guess I'd have to pick that show on the Food Network where they redo your kitchen!

Dessert: Which holiday would you consider to be your favorite?
Thanksgiving, without a doubt! Yes family and food; no presents and religion.

FridayQ

FQ TOPIC: Time

FQ1: What's something you often must do that's a complete waste of time?
Drive here, drive there, drive drive everywhere. When I'm alone, at least I can listen to NPR, but I don't like to have the news on when the older kids are in the car, and Julie always begs for yet another round of "Baby Beluga." Sigh.

FQ2: Who's a public figure you wish would stop wasting everybody's time?
Ralph Nader

FQ3: What's something you'd like to do more of if you had extra free time?
Read

FQ CLOCK: What time is it where you're at right now, and what time zone are you in?
6:22 p.m. Eastern Standard Time (Or is it Daylight Savings Time now? I can never remember which is which.)

Pleeze Take Kare of My Kidz

Kate, our babysitter, is still on winter break, but I was lucky enough to find Jennie to jump into the void. Jennie is also on winter break, but she's from here as opposed to attending college here! Not a bad switcheroo, eh? Anyhow, I'm still trying to find someone else for next semester, since Kate's class schedule is changing. Here's an actual e-mail I got from a prospective candidate:

hin there
id lvoe to help
and i in newton am working in jcc and in day care i sub love kids
im 22fmass lets chat1!
id lvoe to helpo
am of from colege till 20th

Gee, she sounds perfect, dontcha think? Maybe she can help Steph with her homework, and teach Pete and Julie to read and write!

I Don't Get It

I guess I'm not the only one who sometimes sees a cartoon and has no idea what the joke is supposed to be. There's a whole site devoted to them. (Via Grow-a-Brain.)

There was a puzzling cartoon in last week's New Yorker; I tried to scan it but it didn't come out right, so I'll just describe it. Two figures are sitting on the couch. Their heads are shaped like pieces of bread. They're facing a table with a large toaster on it where you would expect to see a TV. The male figure (you can tell by their clothes) is holding a remote and says, "Are the kids asleep?" Anyone, anyone?

Duane Keiser Fan Club President

I fear that if I post one more thing about Duane Keiser, he's going to think I'm stalking him. I'm just so impressed with his painting! For anyone who's missed my recent posts about him, he does a postcard-size painting a day at his blog—and I'm still smarting that the one of the cup of tea sold before I could get to it—and also has a regular site devoted to his full-size paintings. I think it's remarkable that he's just at good at still life as he is at scenes. Anyhow, now he's done a little video showing him doing one of his small pieces, from start to finish.

Movie Review

The other night we watched "Bread and Roses." It was by no means a Great Movie, or even one that will last long in my memory, but I'm still glad I saw it. It tells the story of illegal immigrants in L.A., who are the only ones willing to work for substandard wages as janitors. A union organizer played by Adrien Brody gets them to strike, and everybody lives happily ever after. Just kidding.

Adrien Brody was good, but his character was way too cartoonish: young, white, Jewish, ACLU-type Berkely kid who wants to change the world. Pilar Padilla and Elpidia Carrillo were both terrific as the sisters around whom the story revolves.

As Roger Ebert says, "Will this movie change anything, or this review make you want to see it? No, probably not. But when you come in tomorrow morning, someone will have emptied your wastebasket." Read his whole review, and then you won't need to see the movie, but you might still have a different feeling about that empty wastebasket.

Eye Candy for Ailurophiles

Warm: Mr. Jones relaxing on the shelf over the radiator.

Cold: Grace next to the snowy glass slider.

Snow Day!

Yesterday morning it was starting to snow as we left for school. In the car an hour later, the weather reports on the radio still kept saying, "Snow expected tonight." Hello? Look out your window! It snowed off and on all day. But then it must have really picked up overnight, because we awoke this morning to a blanket of snow, and it's still coming down. So, no school! Julie doesn't go to preschool on Thursdays and it was supposed to be a half-day for Stephanie and Pete anyhow, so it's not too bad. They are watching tons of TV and eating snacks and revelling in their day off in the middle of the week.

Stewart 1, Carlson 0

CNN said goodbye to pundit Tucker Carlson on Wednesday.... Jonathan Klein, who was appointed in late November as chief executive of CNN's U.S. network ... told Carlson, one of the four "Crossfire" hosts, that CNN would not be offering him a new contract....

The bow-tied wearing conservative pundit got into a public tussle last fall with comic Jon Stewart, who has been critical of cable political programs that devolve into shoutfests.

"I guess I come down more firmly in the Jon Stewart camp," Klein told The Associated Press.

He said all of the cable networks, including CNN, have overdosed on programming devoted to arguing over issues. Klein said he wants more substantive programming that is still compelling.

...["Crossfire"] averages 447,000 viewers each weekday, down 21 percent from the previous season, according to Nielsen Media Research. Carlson rotates as host with conservative columnist Bob Novak. Paul Begala and James Carville are the left-leaning ringleaders.

Klein said he hoped Novak, Begala and Carville would continue with meaningful commentator roles at CNN....

More Bathtime Fun

Say No to Torture

Dear friends,

I hate to start the New Year with bad news, but the Senate is about to consider Alberto Gonzales' nomination to become Attorney General, replacing John Ashcroft. Gonzales is the White House counsel notorious for opening the door to torture at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo Bay prisons. Senators should view the Gonzales nomination very skeptically, given this radical history. As part of the upcoming hearings, we can call on Senators to ask Gonzales to unequivocally renounce torture as an instrument of American policy.

Join me in asking Gonzales and Senators to prohibit torture by clicking here. Thanks.

Real Food

Everyone is picky about something that someone else couldn't care less about. Take ketchup, for instance. At one extreme, there are people who make their own. Then there are people who buy whatever brand is on sale, even store brand. Then there's me (and probably most everyone else), who uses Heinz 100% of the time. I am loyal to my favorite brands for some products but not others. For instance, consider paper products: I buy only Kleenex brand tissues, paper towels (Viva), and toilet paper (Cottonelle), but I don't care what brand of napkins I buy. Go figure.

But, please, I'm begging you, at least buy the real thing of whatever you're buying. Every time I see someone putting a green can of processed grated cheese food product in their shopping cart, I want to grab them by the lapels and shake them silly. For heaven's sake, if you can't be bothered with buying a hunk of Parmigiano Reggiano and a Zylis grater, then at least buy the grated real stuff. Life's too short. And the same goes for maple syrup. Don't buy maple-flavored syrup (Log Cabin, Mrs. Butterworth, etc.)—it's just artificially flavored corn syrup. Buy real maple syrup that comes out of a maple tree. You can tell because the ingredient list says: 100% pure maple syrup. Once you taste it, you'll never go back to the other stuff.

The New Math

The total amount committed by the U.S. government for tsunami relief—$350,000,000—equals 42.27 hours of the cost of the war in Iraq. So far. (Via Boing Boing)

One Bite Won't Kill You!

In March 2004 the BBC asked its Web site visitors to vote for the top 50 things everyone should try a bite of in their lifetime. The results follow, according to this legend:

plain black text: tried, liked
bold black text: tried, hated
plain red text: never tried, might try
bold red text: never tried, never will

1. Fresh fish
2. Lobster
3. Steak
4. Thai food
5. Chinese food
6. Ice cream
7. Pizza
8. Crab
9. Curry
10. Prawns (same as shrimp, right?)
11. Moreton Bay Bugs (Australian lobster-like crustacean)
12. Clam chowder
13. Barbecues
14. Pancakes
15. Pasta
16. Mussels
17. Cheesecake
18. Lamb
19. Cream tea
20. Alligator
21. Oysters
22. Kangaroo
23. Chocolate
24. Sandwiches
25. Greek food
26. Burgers
27. Mexican food
28. Squid
29. American diner breakfast
30. Salmon
31. Venison
32. Guinea pig
33. Shark
34. Sushi
35. Paella
36. Barramundi
37. Reindeer
38. Kebab
39. Scallops
40. Australian meat pie (similar to Cornish pasty?)
41. Mango
42. Durian fruit (stenchiest fruit imaginable)
43. Octopus
44. Ribs
45. Roast beef
46. Tapas
47. Jerk chicken/pork
48. Haggis
49. Caviar
50. Cornish pasty (meat chunks, onion, potato and herbs wrapped up in a baked crust)

     

My Name Is Karen, and I'm a Border Obsessive

According to researchers at the University of Bath, people's jigsaw-puzzle strategy closely reflects both their personality and level of skill.

The researchers found that "border obsessives" focus exclusively on sorting through the entire stock of pieces for the sole purpose of completing the border before concentrating on the rest of the puzzle.

"Opportunists," in contrast, are much more creative in their approach, sorting piles on more complex criteria and completing the puzzle using a range of different methods, such as from the top of the picture down to the bottom, or by concentrating on a major component of the picture depending on the pieces they pick up.

Well, I guess I'm primarily a border obsessive, but after that I'm an opportunist. I always do the border first. Always. Then I start in with the middle, using different tactics, such as tackling a particular region first, or looking for all the orange pieces or the stripes or whatever.

Andy is the master of jigsaw puzzles. I can be struggling for hours and he will wander by, pick up a random piece and plunk it down in its proper place. He has a remarkable eye for shape and fit.

Plot-Driven Post

Sometimes I worry that my blog posts are boring. Then I think about what I could have written but didn't. F'rinstance:

1. Sunday night the dishwasher is flashing "Rinse Only" and won't go on, won't cancel, won't even rinse only. So I leave a message for Super Appliance Guy.
2. Monday morning Super Appliance Guy calls back and says he'll be over between 12:00 and 3:00. I say OK, except for the part about 12:50–1:10 when I'll be getting Julie at preschool.
3. I run a few errands and race home at 11:59.
4. At about 12:15, the school nurse calls to say that she ran out of Steph's pills. She apologizes profusely, says she meant to call before winter break, blahblahblah.
5. I glance at the dishwasher and see that the flashing has ceased. I gently, gingerly, unaggressively, unintimidatingly push the start button and—lo and behold!—it starts.
6. I call Super Appliance Guy to cancel. I apologize for inconveniencing him. He says it's just as well, because his daughter just called him with car trouble.
7. I stop off at school to give Steph a pill and leave a new bottle with the nurse.
8. I pick up Julie from school with plenty of time to spare.

Wait till they make that one into a movie, eh?