Shaken, Not Stirred

Last night was Martini Night at our neighborhood social club (it is not a country club, and we are working very hard to make sure it doesn't turn into one!). I expected it to be more or less a cocktail party that featured different martini-style drinks, like the Cosmopolitan. I know that these are not, in fact, real martinis—indeed, I've often wondered how someone decides to call a particular mixed drink a martini. I always see blogs that say something like, "My favorite martini is the chocolate [or sour apple or honeydew] martini." These aren't martinis, folks! These are cocktails. Anyhow, that was what I expected—and, truth to be told, hoped for. Cosmopolitans may not be martinis, but  they do taste nice. But no, this was an exploration of the classic martini, which consists only of gin or vodka (although I suppose there are even those who would dispute whether a vodka martini is a true martini), vermouth, a tiny bit of cold water given off by the ice it's shaken in, and an olive garnish or a lemon twist. Here are just a few of the interesting martini facts we learned from the host, or "ethnobooziologist," as he called himself:

1. Something "magical" (i.e., chemical) happens when vodka/gin is mixed with vermouth and a tiny bit of water. He kept referring to the alcohol "knitting" together in the presence of water.
2. For a martini, it's better to keep the alcohol in the fridge than the freezer. You want a martini to be as cold as possible, but if the alcohol is almost as cold as the ice, when you shake it, you won't get any water from the ice, and then the knitting thing won't happen.
3. You should fill the martini glass with crushed ice, which you dump out just before pouring the martini in; that chills your glass without diluting the martini.
4. The reason for the long stem on a martini glass is so that you can hold it without allowing the warmth of your hand to raise the temperature of the drink (the opposite of a brandy snifter, which you're supposed to cup in your sweaty little mitt).
5. Opinions differ on the ideal ratio of vodka/gin to vermouth; some say 7-1, others 5-1.*
6. The reason for shaking, not stirring, is to make sure that the vermouth and the ice mix fully with the vodka/gin, again to encourage the knitting thing.

We sat with Rebecca and Mihai during the PowerPoint presentation (I'm not kidding!) and tastings. I have never liked gin, and I continued to not like gin at this event—not even the good stuff in a perfect martini. It tastes like perfume to me, and I don't even like the smell. But, surprisingly enough, I didn't much care for the vodka martini either. I've had vodka martinis before and liked them well enough, so maybe I like only martinis that aren't authentically made. In fact, Rebecca said the martinis she has served me at her house are made in a ratio of 2-1 (because she loves vermouth). So maybe I love vermouth too. But I'm pretty sure I love vodka more. Go figure. Andy, on the other hand, was very happy with his gin martini(s). He now wants to buy a shaker, a strainer, and martini glasses.

Anyhow, I regretted that I'd limited myself to only one glass of wine at dinner beforehand, thinking I'd be having a couple of Cosmos. We had eaten at a little pub nearby, and I had a delicious chicken pot pie. Instead of a crust, it was served in a hollowed-out crusty round bread, about the size of a grapefruit. A circle was cut in the top as a kind of lid. Andy doesn't like "comfort foods," like chicken pot pie, macaroni and cheese, or even mashed potatoes, so I rarely bother to make them at home and instead look for a chance to eat them at restaurants or buy them prepared as take-out.

*I'm reminded of Roger Angell's essay on martinis in The New Yorker a couple of years ago. He tells this old joke: If you're ever lost in the woods and can't find your way out, just announce in a loud voice that you know how to make the perfect martini. Three people will suddenly appear out of nowhere to dispute you!

Comments

[nina]

Oh how funny! I was just thinking that I had read an article about martinis not that long ago, and where was it, and of course, it turns out to be The New Yorker. It's been a long time since I've had a true martini. But I do like gin AND vodka.

[lisa]

My partner loves Gibsons (martinis with onions)...I pretty much hate real martinis 'cause I hate gin and vermouth... vodka is fine - and I had a "chocolate martini" once that was creme de cacao and vodka... very yummy!