I was thinking about how Julie didn't know anything about her eye surgery before it happened (or, really, even after it). I just couldn't come up with any kind of explanation that she would understand and that wouldn't terrify her. Explaining it to Stephanie was hard enough ("Yes, a knife..."). All she knew was that we were going to see Dr. Bhatt in a different building. She didn't question why she had to change into the funny little yellow pajamas or why there was a red sticker over her right eyebrow or why she couldn't have anything to eat or drink or any of that. Even afterward, she didn't ask why she had a patch over her eye or why there was a wire coming out of the band-aid on her foot. She just trusted Mama and Daddy. We brought her here, so nothing too terribly bad could happen, right?
On the way in to her post-op exam the next day in Dr. Bhatt's regular office, she asked, "Will Dr. Bhatt be wearing the blue clothes [hospital scrubs] again?" So she was obviously aware that something special had happened the previous day, but she didn't ask for any explanations. Even now, she wants to press a tissue to her eye all day because the tearing is driving her crazy, and she hates the eye drops, and I think she must still have at least a little pain or at least discomfort, and she's not wearing her glasses—and yet she isn't demanding answers. She's so trusting and adaptable that it just breaks my heart.
I'm actually shocked you just said she was going to a different building. No explanation of changing clothes or being put to sleep? Not questioning your parenting--I'm sure you made the right choice for your family--but there is no WAY either of my kids would've complied with that! LOL!
Posted by: Mir | January 30, 2005 at 10:37 PM
I'm glad that the surgery is over and all is well. Brave little kids tear at my heartstrings as well.
Posted by: Margaret | January 30, 2005 at 11:04 PM
I think that you did the right thing. You are IN charge and she know's that and she completely trusts that you will make the best decisions for her at her young age. I don't believe that you need to explain everything to kids to the enth degree. You tell her that we are going to the doctor, that she is going to make your eye feel better and that is that.
Posted by: misterlhasa | January 31, 2005 at 07:41 AM
Your post made me tear up. {hugs}
Posted by: votermom | January 31, 2005 at 08:48 AM
Even at age 3? As things began to start happening, we talked about some medicine that would help her fall asleep, but that was all.
Posted by: Karen | January 31, 2005 at 09:42 AM
Yes. When my daughter was three, she had to have a boil lanced inside her eyelid. Out-patient surgery, general anesthetic. Not as involved as yours, but her reaction was very much the same - that trusting non-involvement. Bless them! It makes you want to redouble your effort to keep them from harm.
Posted by: pam | January 31, 2005 at 01:01 PM