Mommy Guilt

I'm an extremely organized, borderline-OCD mommy when it comes to details about my kids. I always remember to pack their snacks or lunches (I fill their small water bottles 1/3 with water and freeze them overnight, then fill the rest with water so they'll be cool but not frozen by mid-day), I return permission slips the day after receiving them, I send along library books on the appropriate day. Each kid has an extra pair of underwear in a hidden backpack pocket "just in case," I remind them to wear sneakers on gym day, I'm always a few minutes early to drop them off or pick them up, I make sure sports uniforms are washed and dried in time for the next game. You get the picture. But today...I sent Pete to camp without a swim suit! He had to miss his lesson in the morning and his free swim in the afternoon. And it was hot today. I wanted to kill myself when he told me. He didn't seem terribly bothered, although he loves swimming; I asked if he was angry and he said, "No. Oh, and guess what? My tooth is loose!" He's an angel. That's all there is to it. And I'm scum. He may not end up needing therapy over this, but I might.

Comments

[scott]

I'm quite the opposite. I'm known to look up at 9 p.m. from the book I'm reading aloud to them and suddenly ask "hey you guys ate dinner, right?"

[Margaret]

I used to be like you, but am getting more like Scott. Of course, with daughters who are 19 and 15, I don't have to be as obsessive.

[Karen]

I hope to be that way in another 10 years, when my kids are in the double digits!

[Nancy]

He is an angel, you are not scum. Although I'll gladly join you in therapy.

[Lora]

You make me laugh. Don't be so hard on yourself.

[Devra Renner]

Have I got a book for you! Please come visit our website and check out our blog. Aviva is a child development specialist and parent educator, I'm a social worker and together we put our expertise into a book! The title? "Mommy Guilt: Learn To Worry Less,Focus on What Matters Most and Raise Happier Kids" The book has a generous sampling of Mommy Guilt moments, some serious some funny, from the over 1300 parents who filled out the survey for our book! While no parent can ever get rid of the guilt completely, we certainly all can learn to ways to diffuse it so the therapy does't take as long or cost as much. ; )

[Karen]

Thanks, Devra. I think for the most part I am pretty balanced about what I allow myself feel guilty about. Of course I feel guilty when my kid can't go swimming because *I* forgot to pack his swimsuit -- I think that's normal. My mistake, his disappointment. What I don't feel guilty about is any of the "big stuff" -- yet, anyhow! ;-)