verbatim

How Great Is This?

Via Bookslut, from the L.A. Times:*

Next year on an episode of "The Simpsons," Tom Wolfe, Gore Vidal, Michael Chabon, and Jonathan Franzen are all going to appear as themselves—well, actually, they're going to do the voices for the animated characters of themselves.

"This is the only show of any sort that I watch on television," Wolfe says, sitting in the greenroom after recording. The immaculately dressed author is surrounded by a group of scruffy Harvard-educated "Simpsons" writers, hanging on his every word. "My son, Tommy, who's now 20, one of his first words was [Homer's trademark exclamation] 'D'oh!' And now any conversation he has with anybody, he'll reference 'The Simpsons.' "

The writers laugh knowingly. This isn't uncommon. The show is in the "Guinness Book of World Records" for the most guest voices of any animated series, and invitees are often begged to participate by their children or younger friends who see it as akin to nabbing the Nobel Prize. Past guests include actors (Kirk Douglas, Drew Barrymore), musicians (U2, the Who) athletes (Andre Agassi, Magic Johnson), politicians (Tony Blair) and even the most reclusive of writers (Thomas Pynchon lent his voice twice, and faxed in a list of jokes beforehand)....

"My kids and my father are very excited," Chabon says. He's not kidding. Reached later by phone, his father, Robert Chabon, said that he always expected Michael to win a Pulitzer (which he did in 2001 for "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay"). "And I still think he's going to win the National Book Award," said the Kansas City, Kan., pediatrician. "But him being on 'The Simpsons' is beyond my wildest dreams. You envision certain successes for your children, but this kind of success—I never envisioned."...

It's over in less than an hour; but echoes of those recordings will stick with you, says Amy Tan, author of the 1990 book "The Joy Luck Club," who voiced herself on the show five years ago. "Among a certain group of mostly younger people, I'm like a movie star of cartoons," she says. "People who are not impressed with anything else are very impressed that I was in 'The Simpsons.' I don't know what the equivalent would be. Like I was playing with the Rolling Stones or something. It's as though I actually know Homer and Marge and the kids."...

*Everyone knows about BugMeNot, right? If you want to read an article at a site that requires registration, you just go to BugMeNot and plug in the URL. It will give you a working username and password. For instance, for this L.A. Times article, the username (e-mail address in this case) is <[email protected]> and the password is <latimessux>.

Cuter Than Cute

In a public restroom recently, I asked Julie not to open the door to leave until I was done, because I wanted privacy. I said that she could stay, though, of course. She said, "Because I'm so cute?"

A $25 Penalty on a $42.50 Bill? I Don't Think So.

Anyone who's read this blog even occasionally knows that I'm pretty nerdy about details. OK, I can be downright anal. But every now and then something slips by me. For instance, I am meticulous about bill-paying. I pay all my bills online, on time, and in full. Always. Well, except for once or twice a year when one gets by me. So imagine my horror when I found my VISA bill and my Gap bill in the desk today, unpaid, with due dates of November 23 and November 28, respectively. What's a girl to do? Easy: Call up and beg. It works every time. I called customer service and explained that I just discovered the unpaid bill and could they please-please-please waive the finance charge if I promise to pay the full balance as soon as I hang up the phone. And they said yes. They always say yes. (I'm sure it helps that I am such a goody-two-shoes all the other months.)

Dinner and a Movie, Preceded by a Discussion of Cooking Magazines

At one time or another, I've subscribed to nearly all the cooking magazines (well, not all of them—I draw the line at those that consider mixing together several packaged products a "recipe"). Last year I stopped getting Food and Wine, because I found it just too esoteric. There was rarely a single recipe I would consider wanting to make in any given issue. I still love poring over Bon Appétit and Gourmet and Fine Cooking, as well as Martha Stewart's cute little Everyday Cooking mag. I also get Saveur, although I don't think I'll renew it next time. It's beautiful, but not terribly useful. I used to subscribe to Cooks' Illustrated, but now I just get the bound annual edition every year.

Anyhow, the worst one of all is Cuisine at Home, which I just can't wait to expire (but can't bring myself to cancel prematurely). The presentation of each recipe is maddening. Some of the instructions are in the ingredients list and some in the little accompanying photos. There's no way to just glance at the ingredients list and see what you need, because rather than say something like "3 Tablespoons butter, divided," it will just list "1 Tablespoon butter" in three different places. And fussy? Man, these recipes make me crazy. They always want a tiny amount of a million different things, like 1 teaspoon of wine or heavy cream. Getting your mise en place ready takes forever. Check out the samples here. I am a pretty good cook, but I am not so confident and experienced that I can really wing it when it comes to trying a new recipe, so I end up spending a long time measuring out all the little bits of everything. Argh!

All that being said, however, we did have a yummy meal last night from this magazine. I'm retyping it below in the way it should have been presented. And if anyone over at Cuisine at Home is reading this, I'm available immediately for freelance editing—and recipe testing!

Saltimbocca Chicken Breasts with Sage Sauce and Creamy Arugula Pasta

2 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves (6–8 oz. each)
2 oz. provolone, halved (It called for a rectangular chunk that you cut into two "sticks"; I used the sliced stuff I already had and just made two little stick-shaped bundles.)
4 slices prosciutto
1 teaspoon (!) olive oil
2 Tablespoons + 2 teaspoons unsalted butter, divided
4 oz. angel hair pasta (I had only spaghetti on hand.)
3 Tablespoons heavy cream
2 Tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 egg yolk
1 teaspoon grated lemon zest
pinch of red pepper flakes
1 cup arugula, torn
1 Tablespoon minced shallots
1/4 cup dry white wine
1/3 cup chicken broth
juice of 1/2 lemon
1 teaspoon minced fresh sage

Phew!

Heat oven to 400°. Put a pot of salted water on to boil for pasta.

Season chicken with pepper. Cut a slit lengthwise in each breast half, but not all the way through, and tuck the cheese into the slit. Lay out two slices of prosciutto so that they overlap lengthwise. Place the chicken crosswise on the prosciutto and roll up snugly.

Heat oil and 1 teaspoon butter in a nonstick skillet and saute chicken over medium-high heat. Cook, turning to brown all sides, about 6–8 minutes. Place chicken on a rack set over a foil-lined baking sheet and transfer to the oven for about 5 minutes to finish. (Don't put the skillet in the sink yet!) Remove and let chicken rest.

Meanwhile, cook the pasta until al dente. While it's cooking, in a large bowl whisk the cream, Parmesan, egg yolk, lemon zest, red pepper, and salt and pepper to taste. Top with the arugula. When the pasta is done, drain it and immediately put it in the bowl with the cream mixture and arugula. Toss to coat pasta and wilt arugula.

Heat 1 teaspoon of butter in the same skillet you were using and saute the shallot over medium-high heat until softened, about 1 minute. Deglaze with wine; simmer over high heat until nearly evaporated. Add broth and lemon juice; simmer until reduced by half, about 3 minutes. Swirl 2 Tablespoons butter and sage in pan to finish sauce. Don't allow it to boil.

To serve, divide pasta between two places, place chicken alongside pasta, then drizzle chicken with sauce.

While eating, we watched Steve Buscemi in "Living in Oblivion." He was terrific (as always), playing the director of a low-budget indie film. Everything that can possibly go wrong on the set does go wrong, and more, too. Catherine Keener was also great. This is a very funny movie, and from the reviews on Netflix, it is also a very realistic (if somewhat over-the-top) portrayal of what it's like to be on a low-budget movie set.

Then I had to go wash all those bowls and utensils I used for that overly detailed recipe, cursing the Cuisine at Home people all the while.

Somehow Less Frightening than the Original

At the same time that I'm busy envying or resenting people who seem to have way too much time on their hands, I'm often impressed by their creativity. Check out this clever little tidbit, a mashup of Tom Cruise's notoriously energetic visit with Oprah and the latest "Star Wars" movie.

Calling All Lurkers!

If you visit verbatim regularly, semi-regularly, or even just occasionally, but have never once left a comment, please do so now! Just say "Hi," that's all I'm asking.

Good News from the Doctor

Steph had a great GI checkup today. In six months she grew a little more than an inch and gained six pounds! Her bloodwork all came back strong, and we can even take her off the dreaded iron supplements. She'll continue to take Asacol (5/day), fish oil, and probiotics,  and now she's going to start on folic acid too, which Dr. Israel says is good for intestinal health in general. She said most of her patients seem to have "one bad winter," so here's hoping we paid our dues last year and this winter will be smooth sailing. We don't have to go back for another six months!

Leftovers

I took the last of the Thanksgiving turkey and made potpie filling. I then portioned it into plastic containers and popped 'em in the freezer. My plan is to defrost them and fill small round crusty bread loaves with the mixture. I had a bread-bowl potpie at a local pub last winter and it was divine. (This recipe will obviously work with chicken, too.)

Turkey Potpie

2 tablespoons butter
1 onion, minced
4 carrots, diced
2 celery stalks, diced
1/3 cup dry white wine
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
3 cups chicken broth
3/4 cup heavy cream
2 large egg yolks
3/4 cup frozen peas, thawed
4 cups bite-size pieces cooked turkey
1/2 teaspoon crumbled dried rosemary

In a saucepan, melt butter over moderately low heat and cook onions, carrots, and celery, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables are softened. Add wine and cook for 3 minutes. Add flour and cook, stirring, for 3 minutes. Add broth and bring to a boil, whisking.

In a small bowl, whisk together the cream and the yolks. Whisk about 1/2 cup of the hot sauce into the bowl and then add the cream mixture, in a stream, to the sauce. Cook over moderately low heat, whisking, until it is thickened (do not let it boil). Stir in peas, turkey, and rosemary and season to taste with salt and pepper.

Go Kansas!

From the Topeka Capital-Journal:

Creationism and intelligent design have found a home at The University of Kansas. But supporters of the two theories are none too happy that the home is in a course being offered next semester by the religion department, titled "Special Topics in Religion: Intelligent Design, Creationism and other Religious Mythologies."

"The KU faculty has had enough," said Paul Mirecki, chairman of the school's religious studies department.... "Creationism is mythology," Mirecki said. "Intelligent design is mythology. It's not science. They try to make it sound like science. It clearly is not."

David Shulenburger, university provost and executive vice chancellor . . . said it is appropriate to teach intelligent design and creation side-by-side in a religion course, and noted that religious studies classes aren't designed to debunk or promote particular beliefs. "Teaching about controversial topics is a role all universities play, and the current debate over intelligent design certainly qualifies," he said. "We would be remiss to ignore it. We believe it is especially appropriate that intelligent design and creationism be treated as academic subjects in a religion class."

Here's hoping that intelligence, not intelligent design, will indeed prevail. It's so absurd that it would be easy to just laugh it off as a passing notion, but we've gotten into trouble with that attitude before. (Via Kos)

Post-Post-Turkey Day

Last night we went to a party at Kathleen and Atul's. All the kids were playing in the basement, but Julie got lost trying to find me upstairs and that scared her, so she was on me like velcro for the rest of the evening. Andy had to leave to go pick up his parents at the airport (yes, they are back, safe and sound, from their trip to Egypt and Jordan), otherwise he would probably have just taken her home because Steph and Pete were having fun with the other kids and I would have liked to stay too. Ah well! She's been fighting off a cold and cough for a week now, so that probably made her a little more clingy than usual.

This afternoon Julie and I went to Carissa's birthday party at the Puppet Showplace Theatre. The show was "Father Goose Tales" done in shadow puppets by Jim Napolitano (of "Between the Lions" fame). It was terrific! For a solid hour, Julie had such a look of pure delight on her face. She was laughing and clapping and singing along the whole time.

Then this evening Andy's parents came over for Thanksgiving leftovers. I had already run out of stuffing so I made some more—that was a first, making stuffing two days after Thanksgiving! I'll have one last turkey-stuffing-gravy sandwich tomorrow and that'll be the end. Really.

Friday iPod Random Ten

Yikes, I almost forgot it was Friday! (That's what I love about Thanksgiving weekend—it feels like two regular weekends back to back!)

1. No Love Today (live) - Chris Smither
2. I'm Gonna Jump and Shout - Paul Rishell
3. Angel From Montgomery (live) - Susan Tedeschi
4. Closing Time - Tom Waits
5. Rene and Georgette Magritte with their Dog After the War - Paul Simon
6. Dusty Road - Brooks Williams
7. James - Huffamoose   
8. The Harder They Come - Keith Richards   
9. Mile High - John Hiatt
10. Back of My Mind - Cliff Eberhardt

Movies, We Got Movies!

"Crash" - This got rave reviews in many sectors, but we were disappointed with it overall. It was clearly meant to be a Very Important Movie, and it definitely addresses some very important themes and showcases some great talent (particularly Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon, and Thandie Newton), but we didn't end up feeling that anything deep had happened. I agree with A.O. Scott's review in the Times:

"Crash" writes its themes in capital letters—Race, Class, Life, Fate—and then makes them the subjects of a series of speeches and the pivot points for a succession of clumsy  reversals....

What kind of a movie is "Crash"? A frustrating movie: full of heart and devoid of life; crudely manipulative when it tries hardest to be subtle; and profoundly complacent in spite of its intention to unsettle and disturb.

"Lovely and Amazing" - This should have been called "Neurotic and Insecure." I could tell what we were getting into right from the get-go. It isn't boring or a waste of time, but it doesn't try to leave you with any kind of "message"—although maybe that's a good thing?! There's a lot here about women and body image (old/young, fat/thin, black/white, etc.) and some really well-done scenes, but not a heck of a lot of what  happens actually matters.

"The Winslow Boy" - What an unexpected pleasure! David Mamet wrote the screenplay for and directed this film adaptation of a Terrence Rattigan play. Thus you get the best of both worlds: Mamet's crisp writing and direction but not his crushingly depressing stories. This takes place in London around the turn of the (last) century. It's all about justice and believing in right and wrong, with plenty of smart repartee. Nigel Hawthorne is outstanding in this surprising little gem of a movie.

"Election" - I got such a kick out of this movie! It's about the machinations of an overly ambitious high school know-it-all (Reese Witherspoon) who's running for student council president, and the teacher (Matthew Broderick) who will do almost anything to stop her. I don't know what else to say, but it's just plain funny and cute. Don't take it too seriously—although I'm sure many people will be able to draw parallels to this election and real political elections....

"National Treasure" - Totally Disney-fied. Bland acting (sorry, Nic, I still love you!). Lame screenplay. Every possible cliche in the book. And so on. But, you know what? I loved this movie! The story was so clever and the plot so much fun to follow that I was willing to ignore everything else. Don't expect a Great Movie, but do enjoy this fun treasure hunt.

More to Be Thankful for

As long as you pay attention, I'm pretty easy to please. Yesterday Auntie 'Nita brought me a "Pound Plus" of Trader Joe's dark chocolate, and Brooke brought me a bottle of Pesquera (2002 Tinto)!

Dark Chocolate + Spanish Wine = Happy Karen!

The Pie-rony of It All

Andy doesn't much like sweet potato pie, but he loves Chris Schlesinger's sweet potato–peanut pie. How ironic, then, that he managed to accidentally leave out the peanuts when he made it for Thanksgiving! He remembered the peanuts in the topping but forgot them in the filling. D'oh!

His apple pies (yes, he made two!) with oatmeal-pecan topping came out wonderful, as always. It's the best of both worlds: an apple pie bottom crust and filling with an apple crisp topping.

I can't find either recipe online, so I will have to type them out someday when I'm feeling more energetic.

Gravy!

My gravy came out so good, I wanted to put some in a sippy cup and take it to bed with me. I made it just as I said here; my plain gravy base worked out fine. I did end up buying some from Whole Foods just as a backup, but I didn't like the taste after I got it home. Couldn't put my finger on what the offending flavor was, though. So here's the recipe for plain gravy; it is absolutely tasteless on its own, but once mixed with the concentrated pan gravy from the brined birds . . . oh, behave!

Melt 5 tablespoons unsalted butter in a large saucepan over medium-low heat. Add ⅓ cup flour and cook for 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Whisk in 3½ cups low-sodium chicken broth (I usually use Swanson's). Increase heat to medium-high and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. The gravy will be unappealingly pale and bland, but don't forget you're going to be adding that rich, dark gravy concentrate! Cool completely and store in the fridge for up to 3 days. You may need to use your new Braun hand-held blender to smooth out any lumps. (I doubled this recipe for each turkey.)

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: What did you look like when you were a teenager?
In high school I had the mandatory Dorothy Hamill 'do; otherwise I think I was pretty much just a younger version of myself today.

Salad: Whose advice do you listen to?
Depends on the topic; I have my mavens on everything from sticky social situations to shopping tips to cooking to parenting.

Soup: Name a book you would like to memorize.
You mean, a book I would want to be able to recite? Gee, I love books, but I'm not sure I care to know any one book by heart in its entirety. Wait, maybe the school directory, with everyone's phone numbers and e-mail addresses! That's a joke. Sort of.

Main Course: How often are you sick?
Rarely.

Dessert: Do you like or dislike change?
Mostly dislike—or at least, I don't look forward to it; I often end up liking it.

Giving Thanks

Last year on Thanksgiving I posted this:

I am thankful for my loving family and our (generally) good health. I am thankful for my comfortable home and caring friends. I am thankful for peace in my corner of the planet.

Amen to that! I am also thankful to those of you who make blogging so enjoyable and rewarding for me. I hope all of you (well, all of you Americans) had a nice Thanksgiving today.

We had a wonderful day. All the planning and shopping and cooking paid off, with tons of yummy food and lots of happy people. I am very full and sleepy now, but tomorrow I promise to do a menu "post mortem" (no, no one died from my cooking—that probably wasn't the best choice of words!).

P.S. Julie was the belle of the ball:

Can't Blog. Must Baste.

Taking a minute out from the Thanksgiving preparations to let everyone know that all is well here, just busy. Turkey #1 is in the oven and the house smells divine! Turkey #2 is brining and will air-dry in the fridge overnight before having its turn in the oven tomorrow. All the root veggies (but not the red onions) are cut up and are in bowls of cold water in the fridge, awaiting tomorrow's roasting. I made all the stuffing yesterday and will reheat it tomorrow. 

Let's see ... oh, I also made another appetizer. This was a recipe I'd tried many years ago and then forgot about; someone at CooksTalk mentioned it recently. It's a great way to use up all those little cheese ends that aren't big enough to put out but are too big to throw out!

Fromage Fort

1 pound assorted leftover cheese, at room temperature
1/4 cup dry white wine
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
2 tablespoons fresh parsley leaves
1 small clove garlic

Grate hard cheeses and cut others into 1/2” cubes. Place cheese and remaining ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth, about 2 minutes. Spread on crackers. (Can be stored in the refrigerator for up to 1 week.)

I had some Cheddar and soft Asiago and a smidge of Parrano, plus a little aged Gouda left from the cheese straws. I needed to add a little more wine and butter because most of the cheese was kind of hard.

Andy made all his pie dough yesterday; he's going to make three pies tonight! And he wins the Phew! Prize for remembering that we needed to rent some chairs! I had completely forgotten.

Checking Items off the Thanksgiving List

Today I cut up all the bread cubes for stuffing, bought knishes, went to my in-laws' house and stole borrowed all their baking pans while they're in Jordan (of all places!), and washed out the big brining pot, roasting pan, V-rack, and carving board. I also cleaned up some of the clutter in the kitchen and dining room. And did three loads of laundry.

Then I made a very basic cranberry sauce:

3/4 cup water
1 cup sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 Tablespoon grated orange zest
12 oz. bag cranberries, picked over

Combine first four ingredients in a medium pot and bring to a boil over high heat, stirring to dissolve sugar. Stir in cranberries; return to boil. Reduce heat to medium; simmer until slightly thickened and about two-thirds of cranberries have popped open, about 5 minutes for fresh cranberries or 7 minutes for frozen cranberries. Cool and serve or refrigerate for up to a week.

Mom also makes a yummy cranberry Jello mold, so this will be enough for all of us.

Then I tried out a new appetizer:

Almond Cheese Straws

2 cups blanched sliced almonds
1 cup grated Parmigiano-Reggiano
1 cup grated aged Gouda
1 pound frozen puff pastry (2 sheets), thawed
1 large egg, beaten

Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.

Combine the almonds and cheeses in a large bowl.

Lightly roll out each sheet of pastry to smooth it out and eliminate creases. Put one pastry sheet on each baking sheet. Brush pastry all over with beaten egg. Sprinkle the almond-cheese mixture evenly all over the pastry and press down lightly so it will stick.

Cut the pastry crosswise into three sections. Cut each section into 1/2" strips. Don't bother cutting all the way through the pastry; you'll need to cut it again at the end anyhow—and it'll be easier to flip the pastry if it's not already breaking into pieces. Refrigerate for 30 minutes.

Heat oven to 325°. Bake pastry for 20–25 minutes, or until golden brown.

Reduce heat to 275°. Place an empty baking sheet over one of the filled baking sheets and quickly flip it over (yay, Orkas!). Peel off the parchment and discard it. Do the same with the other sheet (you can use the now-empty first sheet). Put them back in the oven and bake for another 20–25 minutes. Be sure the almonds don't burn.

Flip pastry again, onto wire racks, flinging loose almonds in your hair and all over the floor. Cool completely, then use a serrated knife to separate into straws. Store in an airtight container.

Scallops

The first time I made this dish, I posted the recipe but forgot to take a photo. This time I remembered!

Thanks Again!

A propos of my recent post on thank-you notes, Lisa pointed out a nice essay in today's Globe.

I Want One!

Look at this cool cellphone plug-in! I don't know about you, but I've never really felt comfy holding my little cellphone up to my ear and mouth—it always feels as though it's in the wrong position. And it gets hot. And I've read that I'm frying my brain cells every time I do it. True, I don't talk on my cellphone very often at all—days can go by when I don't use it—but I do use it for all my long-distance calls now, since they're all included in our monthly minutes. Wouldn't it be nice to talk on a regular receiver like this? And, though I try to avoid using my cellphone in the car, wouldn't it be funny to see someone's expression as they glimpsed me holding an old-fashioned receiver in the car? Or, better yet, walking down the street? It would also be much easier to hold it between my head and shoulder than my tiny cellphone.

Friday iPod Random Ten with Lyrics

1. Perfectly Good Guitar - John Hiatt   
It breaks my heart to see those stars
Smashing a perfectly good guitar
I don't know who they think they are
Smashing a perfectly good guitar

2. Sing Along - Dave Matthews/Blue Man Group   
If I sing a song
Will you sing along?

3. Perpetual Blues Machine - Keb' Mo' 
Tell me why you wanna be so cold
Why you wanna be so mean
You've gone and let your true colors show
You're a perpetual blues machine

4. Tears Of A Clown - English Beat
There's some sad things known to man
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown
When there's no one around

5. Now She's Gone - Steve Earle
I still taste her kisses, smell her perfume in the wind
And if I could you know that I would do it all again
She done me wrong, and now she's gone

6. Time Loves A Hero (live) - Little Feat
I got an Uncle in Puerto Rico
Spends his days in the sun
His nights in the casinos
He left the States many years ago
Took a fishin' boat to Puerto Rico
Now my aunt, she is sad and lonely
She'll never know that she drove him away
As a coward I admire his courageous ways

7. Birmingham - Randy Newman
Got a big black dog
Whose name is Dan
Lives in my backyard in Birmingham
He is the meanest dog in Alabam'
Get 'em Dan

8. Rock And Roll Doctor (live) - Little Feat
Two degrees in be-bop, a PhD in swing
He's the master of rhythm
He's a rock and roll king

9. Donald and Lydia -  John Prine
But dreaming just comes natural
Like the first breath from a baby
Like sunshine feeding daisies
Like the love hidden deep in your heart

10. Love You Like a Man - Chris Smither
Oh they all want you to rock them
Just like their back ain't got no bone
What you need is a man who can rock you
Like your backbone was his own

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: When do you feel impatient?
when I am at the mercy of someone who is incompetent

Salad: How many times in your life have you had a broken heart?
maybe twice

Soup: Name a book you would like to see made into a movie.
Go here for a list.

Main Course: If you could thank one teacher for what they taught you, who would it be and what would you thank them for?
Mr. James, high school Senior A.P. English teacher, taught me to love Moby Dick. Thanks!

Dessert: What is your favorite kind of pie?
I guess apple.

Well-Behaved Children (and Parents) Welcome

I've been amused by the flap over at Salon about coffee shops that request well-behaved children—or none at all. I can't really imagine that anyone would mind a well-behaved child in a coffee shop, nor can I imagine anyone not minding a tantrum-y child in a coffee shop. If your kid is acting up, get your latte to go; if s/he's in an angelic mood, by all means stay and get each of you a little pastry to celebrate. Is that so hard to figure out?

Oh Wow, the Colors!

Here's a really cool illusion!

Roasted Root Vegetables

I double this recipe for Thanksgiving:

6 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme
2 tablespoons chopped fresh marjoram
2 pounds sweet potatoes, peeled, halved lengthwise, then cut crosswise into 1¼" to 1½" pieces
1½ pounds carrots, peeled, cut into ¾"-thick rounds
1½ pounds parsnips, peeled, cut into ¾"-thick rounds
1½ pounds rutabagas, peeled, cut into ½" pieces
1 pound red onions, peeled, root ends left intact, cut into ½"-thick wedges

Heat the oven to 425°. Spray two large rimmed baking sheets with nonstick spray. (I find that it works better with three, if you have room in your oven!)

Whisk the oil, thyme, and marjoram in a large bowl. Add the veggies and toss to coat. Sprinkle generously with sea salt and pepper and divide between the prepared baking sheets. Roast until tender and brown in spots, turning occasionally, about 50 minutes. (Can be made 4 hours ahead. Let stand at room temperature. If desired, rewarm in 350° oven about 15 minutes.) Serve hot or at room temperature.

Update (11/23/07): This Thanksgiving, for the first time ever, I roasted half the veggies (that is, one entire recipe, since I always double it) on Wednesday and refrigerated them overnight. Then I roasted the second half on Thursday morning and reheated both batches together. It worked out fine and saved me an hour of precious oven-time on the Big Day.

Unexpected Annoyances

Julie and I walked home after dropping the kids at school this morning only to find that the car was dead. Luckily Pia was just on her way out, so she picked us up and we dropped Julie at preschool (too far to walk). I came back and called AAA, then threw a load of laundry into the washer. So the AAA guy came and jumped it; turns out that Pete and Julie had left their dome lights on last night after we picked up Steph from Hebrew school—although I remember telling them to turn them off, and I remember hearing two clicks.... Anyhow, I ended up having him replace the battery anyhow, since it was 5 years old already. The new battery was just $100 and has 675 [insert unfamiliar unit of measurement here]s as opposed to the old one, which had only 550. So then I threw the laundry into the dryer and ran out to do some errands. Came home to find splotches of black ink, large and small, all over everything in the dryer and black streaks all over the inside of the dryer too. Then I found Andy's Uni-ball pen. ("Oh, yeah, I was looking for that...")

When those Mr. Clean Magic Eraser things first came out, everyone was oohing and aahing about them, so I bought a package, but I could never really find a use for them. Well, no more. After trying everything else I could think of, I tried them on the (white) inside of the dryer. It was amazing! It took a fair amount of elbow grease, but all of the black ink came off! The clothes didn't fare as well; I used Zout twice but managed only to lighten the stains. There are still black flecks and blobs all over everything, mostly Steph's and Julie's stuff, but also one of my favorite shirts. Someone's in the doghouse!

Spatchcock!

For some reason, when you butterfly a whole chicken, you have to say you spatchcock it.

So, first, use your big kitchen shears to remove the entire backbone from the chicken, including the cartilage.

So first, go to the Whole Foods meat counter and ask the nice guy with the ponytail and tattoos to spatchcock a chicken for you. Bring it home and nestle it, skin side up, in your biggest cast iron pan. Sprinkle all over with 1 Tablespoon kosher salt, 1/2 Tablespoon pepper, and 2 Tablespoons chopped fresh thyme. Put the pan, uncovered, in the refrigerator overnight (or at least 8 hours).

Heat the oven to 450° and put the pan in the oven, as is. Cook it for about 45 minutes.

Move the chicken to a cutting board to rest, and make a quick sauce: Deglaze the pan with the juice of 1 lemon and about 1/2 cup chicken broth. Cook until syrupy, then swirl in about 2 Tablespoons of butter. Serve!

I have to say that I prefer the skin to be even darker and crispier than this, but it was fine, and the meat was extremely tender and juicy and flavorful.

No, Thank You

I once read in an etiquette column that if you open a gift in the presence of the person who gave it to you, you don't need to send a written thank-you note. The only exception I can think of is a bridal shower or baby shower; even if the bride- or mom-to-be opens all the gifts in front of everyone, I still think personalized written thank-yous are required. When my kids have birthday parties, we always send out thank-you notes as soon as possible thereafter, although I'll admit it sometimes takes us a week or two to finish them all up.

So Julie went to a birthday party on Saturday for one of her school friends. The birthday girl did not open any gifts at the party. (I have heard of parties where the birthday child opens all the gifts during the party, but I'm very glad to say that's "just not done" around here—it must be excruciating for the guests. And it seems likely that the birthday child might inadvertently hurt another child's feelings either by saying something like, "Oh, I already have this" or by tossing aside a "boring" gift in favor of a more "exciting" gift.) So today I—and all the other guests' parents—got this e-mail from the birthday girl's mom:

I wanted to say thank you for coming to [Daughter]'s birthday party. [Daughter] enjoyed having so many of her friends celebrate her 4th birthday. My family came back to our house, where we spent many hours playing with all of the great gifts that she got. Thanks again for  making her birthday very special.

I so don't approve. How is this little girl going to learn that it's important to thank someone for giving her a gift? She didn't even get to say thank you when she initially received the wrapped gifts, because we all just piled them up on a table.

Update: Someone e-mailed me privately and wanted to know what in particular annoyed me about this. It's mostly that the mom sent a generic thank-you message to all the parents in one group e-mail. I took the time to shop for a gift I thought the girl might like, and to wrap it; Julie drew a card and decorated it with stickers (and I wrote the words). The least I would have expected would be a personalized, private e-mail message.

Prefix Rant

I don't understand why people feel the need to append the "pre-" prefix to so many words. What's the difference between a prestamped envelope and a stamped enveloped? Is prewashed spinach cleaner than just plain old washed spinach? What the heck is the idea behind preregistering for a class and then prepaying for it? This annoys me every time I read a recipe: Why on earth do we preheat the oven? Aren't we just heating it?

I also can't figure out the whole "de-" deal. When we peel an orange, we remove the peel. We don't need to depeel it. Similarly, when we core an apple, we remove the core. We don't need to decore it. It works for pitting olives and shelling walnuts, too (no need for depitting or deshelling). So why, then, do we devein shrimp instead of just veining it? And I've seen both bone and debone in reference to removing bones from chicken. While we're on the subject, a peeled orange has no peel and a cored apple has no core, but what about seeded grapes? Seeded grapes have seeds (as opposed to seedless). Maddening.

Stuffing

(Yes, you guessed it: It occurred to me that it won't do anyone much good if I post all my Thanksgiving recipes after the fact.)

(And yes, I call it stuffing even though I don't stuff it in the turkey. So it really should be called dressing, but that makes me think of salad dressing. So I will call it stuffing, because it's my blog. Nyah-nyah.)

I like all different types of stuffing, but on Thanksgiving I stick with the old standby. I make 4 batches of it, in 3 pans, 2 days ahead (then I reheat it).

1 (1-pound) loaf Pepperidge Farm original white bread, crusts removed, cut into ½" cubes
6 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 cups chopped onion
1 cup chopped celery
1 teaspoon dried sage
1 teaspoon dried thyme
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon pepper
1½ cups reduced-sodium chicken broth

Heat oven to 400°. Toast bread cubes 5–7 minutes or until barely golden. (I find that it usually takes longer than this. But don't answer the phone during this time, or you will end up with a tray of black croutons. And don't ask how I know.)

Reduce oven heat to 325°.

In a large skillet, melt butter and cook onion and celery over medium heat for 8–10 minutes or until softened. Transfer to a bowl and add bread cubes and remaining ingredients. Toss well and adjust seasoning. Transfer to a lightly greased 9x13" baking pan. Bake for about 30 minutes or until heated through and crust forms on top.

Go ahead, try to name something yummier than a big bowl of leftover stuffing smothered with gravy.

Update (11/23/07): I think next year I'm going to make 5 batches—there was barely enough left over for lunch today!

Update (12/2/12): I've been making 6 batches the last few years! We still run out at some point during the long weekend.

Turkey 101

Here's how I make a Thanksgiving turkey (mostly from the new Joy of Cooking). I buy two 16- to 18-pounders, rather than do one giant bird. These instructions are for a turkey up to about 18 pounds; if yours is bigger, you'll need to consult the book for adjustments to timing and butter amounts.

Remove the packets of giblets from both the main cavity and the neck cavity. [The first time I made a turkey, I didn't know there was a neck cavity, so I roasted the little plastic baggy full of giblets. Oh, yum.] Rinse the turkey well inside and out.

In a large container (like a stainless-steel lobster pot or a cooler, or a very strong plastic bag—although not a garbage bag, as these are not necessarily food-safe), dissolve salt (see below) in 2 gallons of water:

2 cups of table salt OR 3 cups of Morton's kosher salt OR 4 cups of Diamond kosher salt

Yes, it matters! Depending on the size and shape of the salt crystals, you will need more or less volume-wise. I've always used Morton's in the past, but lately I can find only Diamond.

Submerge the turkey in the brine. Cover and place in the extra fridge in your basement (or any very cool spot you can find) for 4–6 hours.

Remove the turkey from the brine and rinse thoroughly, inside and out. Pat dry. Place on a rack over a jelly-roll pan and refrigerate, uncovered, overnight.

Remove all but the lowest rack in your oven; set it to 325° (I use convection at 300°). Place a V-rack in your largest roasting pan.

Put these aromatics in the main cavity:

1 onion, peeled and quartered
1 carrot, peeled and cut into 1" chunks
1 small celery stalk, cut into 1" chunks
8 sprigs fresh thyme

Truss the bird as best you can (this means tying the ankles together with kitchen string and looping it around the elbows). Brush the turkey all over with 4 tablespoons melted unsalted butter. Place the turkey breast side down on the V-rack. Pour ¾ cup water into the roasting pan.

Roast the turkey breast side down for 2 hours, basting the back and legs once or twice with 2 tablespoons melted unsalted butter. Remove the turkey from the oven. Put on your Orka gloves (or grab a few wads of paper towels), grasp the turkey at both ends and turn it breast side up. Return the turkey to the oven and roast, basting once or twice with pan drippings, until an instant-read thermometer plunged into the thickest part of the thigh registers 175°–180°, about 30 minutes more. I always have trouble finding the right spot to insert the probe, so I can't offer any words of wisdom here. But, in general, don't trust the pop-up do-hickey that comes in the turkey (although I have to admit I do a little happy dance when it pops up just when I thought the turkey was done anyhow!). If the turkey approaches doneness before the breast has browned, increase the oven temperature to 400° for the last 5–10 minutes of roasting. Remove the turkey to a platter and let stand for 20–40 minutes before asking Uncle Kenny to carve it.

Then you need to make the gravy. I like to make a big batch of plain gravy to mix with the small amount of strong gravy I make from the pan drippings. You can never have enough gravy at Thanksgiving!

Remove the V-rack from the roasting pan. Carefully pour off the fat, but not the browned bits stuck to the bottom of the pan. (If there's still some juice in the pan, just do your best to skim the fat off the top—or pour it into a fat separator.) Put the roasting pan over two burners and turn the heat to medium. Pour in 2 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth (I usually use Swanson's). Bring to a simmer, while loosening the browned bits with a wooden spatula. Reduce heat to low and cook for 5 minutes.

In a little bowl, whisk 2 tablespoons water with 1½ tablespoons cornstarch to form a smooth paste. Whisking constantly, gently pour this mixture into the simmering broth, and cook for 1 minute. Strain out the browned bits and season with pepper if desired (it won't need any salt!). Mix with plain gravy—tasting as you go, since you might not need to add all of the concentrate. (If you don't want to mix it with plain gravy, then you should double the quantities of broth, water, and cornstarch given above and just use it as it. You just won't end up with as much gravy overall.)

Satchmo

DJ has been trying to get me to appreciate jazz, despite my protestations that I am constitutionally unable to. I think that jazz appreciation must reside on the same underdeveloped part of my brain as sense of direction, understanding of football, and interest in economic theory. It just ain't gonna happen, folks. So I've pretty much given up on real jazz; I like "jazzy" music and certain styles of blues, but I just don't "get" jazz. So, DJ suggested I give a listen to Louis Armstrong playing the music of W. C. Handy (the latter whose name I had previously heard only in a line from the Marc Cohn song "Walking in Memphis"). This turned out to be a great idea, because everyone loves Louis Armstrong, and it's an easy way to start appreciating at least a type of jazz. Here's what DJ had to say (slightly edited by me):

The disk I grew up listening to over and over was the original vinyl release, which I now know (from hearing the now-available CD "remastered" release) was heavily edited by the producer, John Hammond (I think it was him). And the vinyl version is a whole lot better than the CD remix. For instance, my favorite cut on the disk is "Ole Miss," which on the original release didn't have that dull piano solo immediately after the first chorus, and combined two takes to make what I consider to this day to be the one truly greatest single jazz number ever recorded. But the CD is still great. Another thing the KILLS ME to this day is that first phrase on the first cut, "Saint Louis Blues," with the trumpet starting out by itself. No one ever had such a rich, round sound on the trumpet. My other favorite bit is the end of "Chantez-les Bas" when he keeps hammering that high note, which is not THAT high by modern-day trumpet standards but stands as a great and not tacky use of the high register. While I'm pontificating, allow me to point out that Louis Armstrong basically invented, or developed, single-handedly the entire concept of the jazz soloist as we now know it AND AND AND AND jazz singing. I don't mean just scat singing (also his invention) but ALL jazz singing. It all comes from him. Before Armstrong, there was essentially no vocal jazz and no jazz instrumentalists ever took long, "real," improvised solos.

See, now, this is the sort of thing I can just begin to understand and appreciate, but my brain stops slightly short of "getting it." But I can listen to this music and enjoy the way it sounds and the way it makes me feel. And I know DJ will agree that THAT'S what really matters, and what Louis himself was all about.

More Little Feat

It took us two nights to watch the 1978 Little Feat Rockpalast concert, because we first watched it straight through and then again with the commentary turned on. The commentary consisted of Bill Payne, Paul Barrere, and Liz George talking as they watched the concert video just a few years ago, for the first time. You could really hear in their voices how nostalgic it made them, and we laughed along with them at the '70s clothing and hairdos on the band. If you're at all into Little Feat, I highly recommend that you rent this video, and be sure to watch it again with the commentary turned on. My only disappointment was that they didn't do "Time Loves a Hero."

Meanwhile, today I found the Live Music section of the Internet Archive, which offers tons of live concert downloads from trade-friendly artists, which I think is about as "legal" as noncommercial live concert recordings get. I downloaded a whole bunch of tracks from early concerts and am having quite a Little Feat weekend here!

Update: I forgot to mention that Lowell George taught Paul Barrere to use a Sears socket wrench to play slide guitar. (Lowell used an 11/16"; Paul prefers 5/8".) How cool is that?

More Mommy Guilt

Remember how bad* I felt that time I forgot to pack Pete's swimsuit for camp and he had to miss swimming? That was nothing. Today I really blew it. I spaced on the time of a birthday party he'd been invited to and he missed the whole thing! I have never done anything like that before. Even yesterday I remember thinking that he would have just a short break after Sunday school before heading off to the party, but by today I'd somehow gotten it into my head that the party was in the late afternoon. (Julie went to a late-afternoon party yesterday, so perhaps that's how the confusion arose.) I expected him to be upset and possibly even cry, but he was fine. I said, "Are you angry at me?" and he smiled and said, "Just a little bit." It's a good thing it wasn't one of his best buddies (in fact, this kid is not one of his real friends at all), but it was a laser tag party, which I think he would have loved. Shit.

*Not badly; read this if you've forgotten.

Breaking News!

Leah has just informed me that not only is Johnny Depp leaving France, and not only is he returning to the U.S., but he is moving to New England! As if I don't have enough to do already, Leah points out that I'll now have to fit stalking into my life.

Oh, Target, How Could You?

First, to clarify: The legal drug known as "Plan B" is emergency contraception (EC). It is not abortion. EC obviates the need for abortion because it prevents conception in the first place—just like other contraceptives. Got that? EC is not abortion, because it does not terminate a pregnancy; it prevents pregnancy from occurring. Like the pill, the patch, the condom, the diaphragm, the ring, etc. The difference is that it can prevent conception after unprotected sex, whereas other contraceptives are used before or during sex. Conception occurs within 72 hours of unprotected sex, so it's urgent that EC be administered as soon as possible after unprotected sex, hence the "emergency" tag. EC is also not the so-called "abortion pill" (RU-486), which can terminate a pregnancy medically.

So. Remember when I first mentioned the growing number of pharmacists who are refusing to dispense birth-control pills because it goes against their religious beliefs? These are people who are registered pharmacists and will not fill a legal prescription. That's right, there are women in this country who are trying to do the right thing and prevent unwanted pregnancies from happening, and they are being turned away. Well, the same thing is happening with EC—but now it's not just those Wal-Marts in the Bible Belt. It's our beloved Target. Say it ain't so, Tar-jhay! But it is. Planned Parenthood is working to compile a list of pharmacies whose official company policy states whether they would support an employee who refused to dispense a legal drug. Here are the good guys, so far:

Brooks/Eckerd, Costco, CVS, Fagen's, Harris Teeter, KMart, Price Chopper, Super Valu*

Hurrah! These pharmacies will not stand by an employee who refuses to fill any legal prescription (be it contraceptives, antidepressants, Viagra, or whatever), regardless of his/her personal beliefs.

Now, for the baddies:

Rite-Aid, Target, Walgreens, Wal-Mart, Winn Dixie*

So if a woman walks into one of these pharmacies with a prescription from her OB/GYN, the pharmacist can decide whether s/he wants to fill it or not. And if that woman can't get to another pharmacy, or if that other pharmacy refuses to fill her prescription too, then she's out of luck. She may be faced with an unwanted pregnancy—for no reason. (And she might then end up seeking an abortion, the very thing that these fundamentalist groups are supposed to be against.)

While we're on the subject, read this story about a doctor who is doing everything he can to make sure that women who need EC can get it.

*If a pharmacy isn't named in either of the two groups above, it means that their company policy is currently unknown. Keep checking back at Planned Parenthood's Fill My Pills Now! site for updated information.

Book Group

We met Wednesday night at Liz's for a spirited discussion of Madame Bovary. We all read different translations, and if I'm not mistaken, this was the first time for all of us reading it. I had e-mailed everyone the WaPo review from last summer as well as an essay by Erica Jong that appeared recently at Salon. I particularly liked the latter; I agree that Emma Bovary was trying too hard to live a fantasy life like those that she read about in romance novels. I don't think she could ever be happy; she kept thinking that there would be some magic bullet that would rescue her from her ennui, whether it was religion, a husband, a child, a lover, or lots and lots of possessions. Nothing ever satisfied her for long. Jong quotes Mario Vargas-Llosa:

In Madame Bovary, we see the first signs of alienation that a century later will take hold of men and women in industrial societies (the women above all, owing to the life they are obliged to live): consumption as an outlet for anxiety, the attempt to people with objects the emptiness that modern life has made a permanent feature of the existence of the individual. Emma's drama is the gap between illusion and reality, the distance between desire and its fulfillment.

None of us had much patience for Emma, nor could we say we liked her, although we recognized that there were no options available to her in mid-nineteenth- century provincial France. She couldn't just decide to go to law school or get a divorce or whatever. The only freedom she could pursue was to commit adultery. In truth, her lot in life was way better than most of her contemporaries'; she had a loving and indulgent (if boring) husband, a healthy child, a relatively high standard of living, and so on. But none of it was enough, because she could see only what she didn't have, and that was some unattainable ideal of happiness. Liz felt that she was simply suffering from clinical depression and could have benefited from a heavy dose of Paxil! She went the extra yard and also read the Flaubert biography by Geoffrey Wall, so we got to learn that he was a pretty unlikeable guy, whatever one thinks of his writing.

Next up is The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd.

Just a Happy Four-Year-Old

Here's the caption (dictated by Julie to her teacher) under Julie's self-portrait:

I watch "Cheaper by the Dozen."

I love hot dogs and ketchup, raisins and muffins and Pop Tarts. I love Pop Tarts so much!

I love Tiger. He is so soft! I have so many stuffed animals. I like to leave some animals upstairs and some downstairs.

We go to New Hampshire and sometimes I have jellybeans.

I have a special friend, Carissa. She is really nice.

I play Gigi* with Dad. It's really fun. When we do the blender thing we shake.

I like school. I like to do the round box stuff. I like to open them and see one inside.

I wish I could come to school every day, except for Saturdays.

*Gigi (pronounced with hard "g" sounds) is the kids' name for any wrestling/tickling game with Daddy.

Friday iPod Random Ten - With Lyrics!

1. I'm From Lynn, What Can I Say? (live) - Don White
(If you're from the Boston area, you will get such a kick out of this song. Don White's live performance is really laugh-out-loud funny.)

I'm from Lynn, what can I say?
People from Lynn just act this way.
I don't talk slick, that's what I said
I'm not from Swampscott or Marblehead.

2. Thirty Years of Tears - John Hiatt

Alone in this place with a lifetime to trace
And a heartbeat that tells me it's so
I've got these tears from a long time ago
These are tears from a long time ago
And I need to cry 30 years or so

3. The Flyer (live) - Nanci Griffith

He said he'd never married
'Cause his heart was in the clouds
And I said I was too clumsy
That I broke the wings of the loves I found
He shouted out his name to me
As I ran to make my flight
Now, I would give anything
To see that flyer flyin' tonight

4. I Kissed a Girl (live) - Jill Sobule

I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet
She was just like kissing me—but better

5. Sittin' On Top Of The World - Chris Smither

If you didn't want my peaches,
Why'd you shake my tree?
You get out of my orchard
Let my peaches be.

6. Third Degree - Eric Clapton

Bad luck, bad luck is killing me.

7. Diner - Martin Sexton   
(Such a fun song, I'm including the whole thing.)

You might have seen one out in Minnesota
Or maybe down by the sea in Sarasota
But they were made back in Worcester, Mass.
Of aluminum and bakelite and glass

Like a locomotive, they were streamlined
And the blueprints were drawn up from a dream of mine
Slap 'em up, put 'em on the train
Out to Michigan, up to Maine

You may find a diner down in Georgia or Carolina
Off the twenty by the Piggly Wiggly
In the country out of Waynesboro

Or when it's getting late and rainy out in New York State
You hang a louie off the throughway
And you go and grab yourself a cheeseburger
At the Little Gem Diner, off the six-niner

Diner my shiny shiny love
In the night you're all I'm thinking of
Diner my shiny shiny love

The cruiser pulls in where the troopers always stop
As we dine over the chrome and formica table top

The cashier she always squints
By the gum and the bowl of mints
She's tapping her toe
To the Dean Martin on the consolette
Booth service and a cigarette
We're loving it so

Side of fries a dollar
Or the haddock plate two ninety-five
A rootbeer float, a Pepsi
And be sure to save some room for some apple pie
Better make it a-la-mode

Diner my shiny shiny love
In the night you're all I'm thinking of
Diner my shiny shiny love

Dean Martin, God rest his soul
Talkin' to me from the cereal bowl
There's a couple from the Show-Me State
Knockin' back a little meatloaf plate

Diner my shiny shiny love

8. It's Written in the Stars - Paul Weller

It's lit up in the stars that we're true
We're destined in the sky to be glad

9. Everybody Has The Blues (live) - James Taylor

Everybody gets to feel some pain
Everyone got to get to caught out in the rain
Everybody got some days that they can't explain

10. Long-Distance Love - Little Feat    

You know, her toes were so pretty
And her life so sweet
I wonder, do she know
Do she she know she hurt me so?

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: If someone made a statue of you, in which pose would you like to be?
Reading on the couch.

Salad: What perfume/cologne does your best friend wear?
I have absolutely no idea.

Soup: Name something satisfying about your work.
Knowing that I'm helping to populate the world with happy, well-adjusted, socially responsible people. (That would be my kids, for those of you following along at home.)

Main Course: What was the last excuse you made, and why did you need to make it?
Someone called the other night to do a phone survey; I lied and said we were eating dinner. Believe it or not, I really sort of like doing surveys, but I just wasn't in the mood at that moment—and far be it from me to hurt a stranger's feelings!

Dessert: Complete this sentence: I wonder why _________________.
Eric Stoltz isn't in more movies. We saw him in "2 Days in the Valley" last night and I was reminded how much I like him. After "Mask," I can remember him only from "The Water Dance," "Pulp Fiction," and recurring guest appearances on "Mad About You." I think he's really handsome and has always given good performances, so why doesn't he get more and bigger roles?

While I'm in the neighborhood, "2 Days in the Valley" was a strange movie, but not a completely unenjoyable one. Lots of fun, quirky performances—everyone was in it, from Keith Carradine to Marsha Mason to Danny Aiello to Jeff Daniels to Charlize Theron to James Spader to Louise Fletcher to Paul Mazursky to Teri Hatcher, and more—and a series of seemingly unrelated Altman-like storylines that somehow do end up connecting by the end. At first you wonder how many new characters you're going to have to meet before things start falling into place, but it does work out eventually. It reminded me a little of "Magnolia," but—thankfully!—it wasn't as drawn-out.

Indie Flicks

Empire Online has put out this list of the 50 greatest indie movies. I have not provided links to Netflix or IMDB because, well, I do have a life, you know! I disagree mightily with some of the choices and omissions, as well as the ranking, but that's what makes horse racing.

50. El Mariachi - Just added to my Netflix queue; it comes with the sequel, "Desperado."
49. Run Lola Run - Just added to my Netflix queue.
48. Cube - Horror. I'll pass, thank you.
47. Blood Feast - Ditto.
46. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre - Saw it in college. It was, like, a law or something back then.
45. Mad Max - Saw it, loved it. Didn't know then that Mel was a Bery, Bery Bad Man.
44. Amores Perros - Nina wants me to see this, and I'm tempted because it does star the lovely Gael Garcia Bernal, but I've been warned that it contains scenes of animal cruelty, and I just don't think I can stand it. Update (11/11/05): Nina has convinced me to give it a try—and to just close my eyes during the dogfight sequence—so I've added it to my Netflix queue.
43. Shadows - I hesitated but did end up adding this to my Netflix queue.
42. Swingers - Saw it, loved it.
41. Dead Man's Shoes - Not available on Netflix . . . HUH?
40. The Descent - Also not available on Netflix—don't think I'd be interested, anyhow.   
39. The Passion Of The Christ - Na ga da.*
38. Grosse Point Blank - Saw it, loved it.
37. Being John Malkovich - Saw it, loved it.
36. Buffalo '66 - Just added to my Netflix queue.
35. THX-1138 - Just added to my Netflix queue.
34. The Blair Witch Project - I'm tempted to see what all the hype is about, but I think it would be too scary for me.
33. Shallow Grave - Just added to my Netflix queue.
32. Two Lane Blacktop - Just added to my Netflix queue; it's not yet out on DVD, though.
31. Pink Flamingos - Not interested.
30. Sweet Sweetback Baadasssss Song - Not interested.
29. Bad Lieutenant - Just added to my Netflix queue. (Harvey Keitel as an "out-of-control police lieutenant on a collision course with disaster"? Gee, there's a reach.)
28. In the Company of Men - Saw it. Was upset by it. (Note: A few years ago, my friend and former colleague Paul called me up and said, "I'm sorry. You're right. Men are scum." I said, "Why?" His reply: "Go rent 'In the Company of Men.' And, again, I'm sorry.")
27. Dark Star - Not interested.
26. Lost in Translation - Saw it, loved it.
25. Drugstore Cowboy - Saw it, think I liked it but can't exactly recall.
24. Happiness - This was already in my Netflix queue.
23. The Evil Dead - Horror. I'll pass, thank you.
22. Nosferatu - Horror. I'll pass, thank you.
21. Roger And Me - Just added to my Netflix queue, I'm embarrassed to say! (Embarrassed that I hadn't yet seen it, not embarrassed that I'm planning to see it.)
20. Slacker - Just added to my Netflix queue.
19. Lone Star - Saw it, loved it.
18. Withnail And I - Saw it but was disappointed by it. (Sorry, Pia!)
17. City of God - Saw it. Was upset by it.
16. She's Gotta Have It - Didn't see it, probably won't. Again, not available at Netflix . . . WTF?
15. Blood Simple - I feel certain I've seen this, but I can't recall it, so it's in my Netflix queue.
14. Stranger Than Paradise - This was already in my Netflix queue.
13. Memento - Saw it, liked it a lot.
12. Eraserhead - I have a feeling I saw this a hundred years ago but I can't recall it—and I think this a movie you would recall. I don't think I'll see it.
11. Bad Taste  - Horror. I'll pass, thank you.
10. Mean Streets - Saw it. Was upset by it. But enjoyed it all the same.
9. Sideways  - Saw it, liked it.
8. The Usual Suspects - Saw it, loved it.
7. Sex, Lies, And Videotape - Saw it, loved it.
6. Night of the Living Dead - Horror. I'll pass, thank you.
5. Monty Python's Life Of Brian - Saw it (numerous times!), loved it.
4. Clerks - Saw it, liked it a lot.
3. The Terminator - Saw it, loved it.
2. Donnie Darko - I hesitated but did end up adding this to my Netflix queue. I've vacillated on this one for ages, because I keep hearing that it's a "must see," but I'm worried it will be really scary.
1. Reservoir Dogs - Saw it. Was upset by it. But enjoyed it all the same.

Anyone catching on yet that I'm not big on really scary horror movies?

*This is the best transliteration I can do for Dana Carvey's impersonation of Bush Sr. saying, "Not gonna do it!" Andy and I say "Na ga da!" all the time.

(Relatively) Safe

It was terrifying to hear of the bombs in Amman today—more so than usual because Andy's parents are on vacation in Egypt with a stop in Amman planned for next week! We weren't sure of their exact itinerary, but we've learned that they definitely weren't in Amman when the bombs went off. I hope they cancel that leg of the journey entirely. I was worried enough about Egypt.

A Clean Bill of Health for Another Year!

Live Music Clips

I will not get to see John Prine on Austin City Limits, because it's on next Wednesday at midnight, and I will be sleeping.* But I did get to watch a video clip, and that led me to discover this wonderful list of clips available from ACL.

*No, I don't know how to set the VCR. I used to know how to set our old VCR, but this one makes no sense to me.

Update (11/10/05): Here's another clip. This is a pretty, sad version of "Long Monday."

Talkin' Turkey

Last week when everyone was kvetching about Typepad's mood-swings, I was having no troubles. Now, I just went to a post about my Thanksgiving preparations, and POOF! The whole post is gone. So I will try to reconstruct it, but of course you must know that the original was so clever, so spontaneous, so subtle, so multilayered, that I'll never be able to replicate its je ne sais quoi.*

Anyhow, it occurred to me that it's time to start planning for Thanksgiving, as I will be hosting again this year! I did it in 2003, but then my cousins stole it offered to take it from me last year. But I'm back. Thanksgiving is my most favoritest holiday, because it's all about sharing good food with family and friends, and nothing about presents and religion. We'll be 20 at the table(s) this year, including my kids, who as you know eat nothing.

I took careful notes about everything in 2003, so it's really just a matter of planning the whole thing out. Last time I brined Turkey #1 on Tuesday, air-dried it overnight in the fridge, then roasted it Wednesday. I brined Turkey #2 on Wednesday, air-dried it overnight, then roasted it Thursday morning. Then I combined the meat for both so that it wasn't too obvious which was day-old and which freshly roasted—frankly, I don't think it matters much anyhow. That worked out well. As for sides, I don't intend to stray too far from the traditional fare; I think everyone likes stuffing, gravy, veggies, some kind of cranberry sauce, etc. Last time I had way too many desserts, so I'll try to rein everyone in on that.

One thing I won't do is blow a fuse in my oven on the Monday before Thanksgiving and have to call the repairman with tears and threats. That didn't turn out to be so much fun.

*French for "boring discussion about menu planning"

Down to the Wire

I tried. I really did. I watched the first episode of "The Wire." I was not impressed. I slept on it and watched the second episode the next night. I then abandoned it in favor of the penultimate chapter of Madame Bovary (book group tomorrow night!). Yes, you read right: I chose a mid-nineteenth-century French novel over a faux-gritty "Homicide"-wannabe. Not one decent actor in the bunch. Not even one sensible casting choice. And the writing? Unrealistic at best, lame at worst. I can't understand all the fanfare about this show, and yet, Andy's still willing to give the third episode a chance.

Movies

"In the Mood for Love" - I could watch Tony Leung and Maggie Cheung all day; unfortunately, this movie felt as though it was going to go on all day. I liked the story (their spouses are having an affair), but it was just too darn slow. I hit PAUSE and went to bed but had no desire to turn it back on the next day, so I don't even know how it ended.

"The Hudsucker Proxy" - For the life of me, I can't figure out how I missed this one all these years. I love everything the Coen brothers have ever done, and I love Tim Robbins (Paul Newman ain't bad, neither). Anyhow, it didn't disappoint. If you're a fan of Joel and Ethan's brand of out-there comedy and surrealism, you're in for a treat. This also had a very "Brazil"-like feel to it.

Our Ever-Evolving Language

Yesterday Julie verb-ized the word cozy: "Look at Mr. Jones and Gracie [the cats] all cozed up on Pete's bed!"