verbatim

Monthly Statements

Saw this meme over at Mark's. Here's the first sentence of the first post of every month from the past year:

January: (No, this isn't about Dubya!)
February: The main things I love about Bloglines (and/or RSS feeds in general) is that I don't have to keep checking in on my favorite blogs to see whether there's been an update; I just open up my Bloglines page and see which blogs are boldfaced.
March: No matter how many times I slam my forehead into the wall, I can't get rid of the "School Closed" notice on my computer and TV.
April: 1. Prohibition Has Done Me Wrong -  Jorma Kaukonen
May: We had dinner last night at Bambara, the restaurant at the newish Hotel Marlowe in Cambridge.
June: Ten Five Favorite Things to Snack On
July: 1. Somewhere Someone's Falling In Love - John Prine
August: I think I would enjoy being in a book group in the U.K.
September: I usually cheat at least once when I prepare my "random" lists.
October: Appetizer: When was the last time you visited a hospital?
November: For those of you who read verbatim on anything resembling a regular basis, I've been thinking of ways I could make it more useful:
December: Apparently Comcast is not on speaking e-mailing terms with Hotmail these days, so if you've sent me an e-mail from a Hotmail address, I regret that I can't reply to you.

Happy New Year, everyone! As always, thanks for stopping by.

Good Clean Sugary Fun

While I bitched and moaned, Andy made cupcakes with the kids.

1 1/2  cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2  cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
2 large eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2/3 cup reduced-fat sour cream

Preheat oven to 350°. Line a 12-cup muffin tin with paper liners.

In a small bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, and salt; set aside.

With an electric mixer, beat butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. Beat in eggs, one at a time, until combined. Beat in vanilla.

With the mixer on low speed, gradually beat in flour mixture and sour cream in alternating batches, beginning and ending with the flour. Divide batter evenly among prepared muffin cups.

Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center of a cupcake comes out clean and the top is springy to the touch, 20 to 25 minutes. Cool 10 minutes in the pan, then turn out onto a rack to cool completely before spreading with frosting:

4 tablespoons unsalted butter, room temperature
2 cups confectioners’ sugar
2 tablespoons milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
pinch of salt

In a small bowl, beat together butter, sugar, milk, vanilla, and salt until light and fluffy.

New Year's Rasholution

I've decided to start a new tradition for New Year's Eve: From now on, I will always wake up on December 31 with a bizarre rash covering every square inch of skin from my neck down. I tried it today, and it is really a very special experience!

The on-call doctor seemed more agitated about being bothered at the Cape than about my symptoms. He asked, "Do you think you can wait till Tuesday before being seen?" I replied, "I don't know. That's why I'm calling you." Duh! He recommended I stop taking the amoxicillin (even though I've taken it before and never had a reaction), take Claritin (or Benadryl, but not both), expect the rash to get worse over the next day or two and then start getting better, and go to the ER if I experience breathing difficulties. Double duh!

Friday iPod Random Ten with Lyrics Quiz

I love Nina's lyrics quizzes, and I haven't done one in a while, so here goes. Note that this list of songs was far from random; I skipped over all the obscure stuff no one would ever know. And remember, Googling is for losers.

1. Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest nights.

2. What do you get when you kiss a girl?
You get enough germs to catch pneumonia.
After you do, she'll never phone you.

3. And I make my bed
Where I lay my head
And I wish I heard what she just said.

4. I want a full house and a rock and roll band
Pens that won't run out of ink
And cool quiet and time to think.

5. She eats up your lies like it's good for her, like it's apple pie.

6. Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box.

7. So where are the strong
And who are the trusted?

8. Marry him or marry me
I'm the one that loves you baby, can't you see?

9. I find sometimes it's easy to be myself
Sometimes I find it's better to be somebody else.

10. Where there's smoke
There's sure to be a fire.
Ready, steady, go
We were down to the wire.

BAFAB!

It's almost time to Buy a Friend a Book for no earthly reason other than to spread good karma. So, the first week in January, pick up that book your friend had hoped to find under the tree, or regift something that came in your stocking but you'd already read (remember, there's no harm in regifting as long as you think the recipient will like the book). Include an explanation, and then get ready for a pleasantly surprised "THANKS!"

Movies

"Bowling for Columbine" - I don't know how this one passed me by. It is, of course Michael Moore's extended meditation on why Americans have such a high rate of gun crime (specifically, gun murder). He rules out every possible reason, one by one: Is it that our teenagers watch so many violent movies? Nah, they watch even worse stuff in Japan, which has just about zero gun crime. Is it the Goth culture? Just look at Germany—way more intense Goths and way less gun crime. Is it just that we own more guns? Well, how about Canada: They have about 30 million people, which translates to about 10 million households, and they have 7 million guns. They also have practically no gun crime—they're all about hunting with their guns. The only thing Moore could come up with was something about the way our politicians and our media spin crime way out of proportion and create an environment of fear in this country. One guy had done a study that found a 20% decrease in gun murders during the same period that there was a 600% (not a typo!) increase in TV news coverage of gun murders. That says something, don't you think? I am always impressed by how courteous Moore is when he's interviewing people; he and Charlton Heston had a perfectly civil sit-down—well, right up until the point that Moore suggested that Heston owed the people of Columbine an apology for holding an anti-gun rally there just 11 days after the shootings. But, as usual, Moore stoops to some dumb publicity stunts that end up undermining his message. Why bother Dick Clark, just because he happens to own a chain of mall restaurants, one of which happens to employ a woman whose son shot a classmate in Flint? And to suggest that Columbine might have occurred even in part because Lockheed Martin, which makes missiles, is located there? Dumb. He's better off when he just gives people enough rope to hang themselves. But, still, I really can't see how all these conservatives can claim to hate this movie as much as they do. He doesn't call for gun control. He criticizes Clinton as much as Bush. He just wants to know why our country has this particular problem. People are always saying, "If Moore hates the U.S., why doesn't he just move away?" but I don't get any sense at all that he hates this country. I think he loves it and just wants it to be a better place.

From there we move gracelessly to a review of a typical Bruce Willis shoot-em-up: "Hostage." This movie wasn't anything more or less than you'd expect—well, maybe a little more. It had some decent acting and interesting plot turns, and Willis looked pretty cool. Hardly a waste of time to watch in my own living room, but I sure am glad I didn't shell out the big bucks to watch it at a cinema.

Ten on Tuesday

Ten New Year's Resolutions

This is pathetic, but I'm going to cut and paste the entire list of last year's resolutions:

1. Spend an hour a week putting photos in albums. It's time that Julie made it to the albums, don't you think? Once I catch up, I swear I will do every roll of pics the same day I get them, but I'm too anal to start with the new ones until I do all the old ones. I don't think I put away even one photo in all of 2005.

2. Frame Stephanie's best kindergarten artwork. Add Pete's to that.

3. Make duck confit. I still intend to do this! I have a ton of duck fat in the fridge.

4. Go through the boxes in my office that have been there since we moved in four years ago. One of these days.

5. Get rid of my old PowerMac, which hasn't been switched on in over a year. Any ideas what to do with it? Oh, and my old scanner. Well, I moved them to the basement a month or two ago—that should count for something, right?!

6. Plan to start considering thinking about whether to contemplate getting some exercise. (Why can't I seem to go back to yoga, which I loved?) Inquiring minds—and lazy bodies—wanna know.

7. Go through all my clothes and give away the stuff I will never wear again (some of which I haven't worn in almost 10 years as it is). I've done a little of this, but not enough.

8. Make Andy go through all his clothes and give away the stuff he will never wear again (some of which he hasn't worn in almost 10 years as it is). He never will, and I can't make him.

9. Try at least one new recipe a week. I'm usually pretty good about this, but I've slacked off lately. I do pretty well, but still not enough.

10. Go on a date with Andy at least twice a month. (Yay, Brooke!) We're lucky to get out once a month. I still don't know why.

Almond Cake

One of Andy's driving life forces is his quest for the best almond cake. Here's his latest attempt (recipe courtesy of Giada De Laurentiis). It was good: He will eat it all. It was not great: He will not make it again.

1/2 cup fine yellow cornmeal
1/2 cup cake flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, softened
1/4 cup almond paste, cut into half-inch pieces
1 1/4 cups confectioners' sugar, plus more for dusting
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
2 eggs
4 egg yolks
1/4 cup sour cream (We had only vanilla yogurt in the house.)

Preheat oven to 350°. Grease an 8" round cake pan with vegetable spray.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the cornmeal, cake flour, and baking powder and set aside.

Using a stand mixer with a paddle attachment, beat the butter and almond paste on high speed until smooth, about 5 minutes. Reduce speed to low and slowly add confectioners' sugar. Mix until thoroughly combined and light and fluffy. Raise speed to high and add the vanilla extract, whole eggs, and egg yolks, one at a time. Mix until well combined. Reduce speed to medium and add the sour cream and dry ingredients and mix until just incorporated.

Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan and smooth the surface with a spatula. Bake in the lower third of the oven for 35 minutes, or until the cake is golden and pulls away from the sides of the pan. Transfer pan to a wire rack and let cool. Remove from pan and dust with confectioners' sugar.

First Night of Hanukkah

<denial mode> Steph got a Pixel Chix, which she's been begging for. We don't have video games here, though, no way! This doesn't hook up to the computer or anything. </denial mode> 

<denial mode> You know how I feel about war toys. But, well, this is a blaster, not a gun, and Pete really really wanted it. And, as Han Solo says, "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid." </denial mode>

<denial mode> We don't  allow Barbies in this house. But, apparently, we do allow Barbie heads for hair-styling fun. Julie's in heaven. </denial mode>

Peace on Earth

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to all my friends in the blogosphere!

More Good Customer Service

In April I bought four new Hunter humidifiers, one for each bedroom. About a month ago, Julie's stopped working for no apparent reason. I had bought them online from Allergy Buyers' Club, but I didn't have a receipt or packing slip or anything. (I know I bought them in April because I found it on my credit card statement.) So I called Hunter directly and they sent me a brand-new humidifier and asked me just to ship them back the old one in the new one's box! Very satisfied customer here.

Movies

Two quirky little films came our way this week via Netflix:

"Jesus' Son" - Billy Crudup (yes, he's very cute, but he still needs to change his name) plays a guy known as Fuckhead, because, well, he keeps fucking up his life. He's mostly an aimless druggie, although he does seem to want a better life for himself and to find meaning. I think we're supposed to believe he has indeed found that meaning by the end of the movie, but I wasn't convinced. Nothing really comes together, although I enjoyed watching it. Cameos from Dennis Hopper (you can't make a druggie movie without him), Holly Hunter, Denis Leary, and—best of all—Jack Black.

"Proof" - The young Elrond Hugo Weaving plays a blind man who takes photos and then asks the kid who grows up to become Russell Crowe to describe them, then he labels the photos and tries to figure out whether he's being lied to. The conflict revolves around Crowe's character and the blind man's housekeeper, but it all comes down to his traumatic childhood relationship with his mother. I thought the premise was very interesting, and the characters pretty well thought out, but it is just a small movie, if you know what I mean.

Book Review

The other night I finished The Year of Magical Thinking, Joan Didion's meditation on grief and mourning following her husband's death. (At the time, their daughter was in a coma in the hospital; she ended up dying just before the book was published. One can only imagine how Didion can possibly be dealing with that loss as well.) This was an intensely moving, powerful read; at the same time, it was a fascinating look at how other people make sense of their lives (because we all do it—or try to—but in different ways). Didion's writing is concise and engaging; she worries about the mundane issues as well as the larger ones and shows us how all-encompassing such a loss is. It's not as crushingly depressing as it might have been, though—possibly because Didion approaches the topic as both a journalist and a real person. I can't recommend this book highly enough, although I'm not going to suggest it for my book group because I think it brings up many all-too-personal and potentially painful emotions, depending on one's own life experiences. This is the book everyone's talking about these days—and with good reason.

To Do

X  1. Fill Amoxicillin prescription and buy Claritin. (Dr. Stern agreed that my throat looked horrible.)
     2. Wrap Pete's Hanukkah gifts. (I wrapped the girls' stuff yesterday.)
X  3. Make Buy cookies for Julie's preschool party.
X  4. Get gifts for Ale and Lily.
     5. Go to Whole Foods before the holiday weekend rush.
     6. Take family photo for holiday New Year's cards. Get cards printed. Address/stamp envelopes. Mail.
     7. Call plumber to fix Julie's toilet and sink.
X  8. Give holiday gifts to mailman, milkman, cleaning lady, babysitter, and preschool teachers.
     9. Distribute limoncello to friends. 

Update 12/2/12: I think the mere mention of drug names is what's causing this post to get hit by the spambots, so I'm closing off comments.

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Ruby Baby - Peter Keane
2. Angel from Montgomery - Ben Harper/Tom Freund
3. Slip Slidin' Away - Paul Simon
4. Ole Miss Blues - Louis Armstrong
5. Blues in the Night  - Eva Cassidy
6. Roll 'Um Easy - J.D. Souther
7. Therapy  - Loudon Wainwright III
8. Your Dad Did - John Hiatt
9. Kismet Rag - Scott Joplin (composer; don't know who's playing)
10. Constant Craving - k.d. lang

I'm Not Christian, but...

Neither the Library Lady nor I is Christian, but we both found something worthwhile in the letter below. In this season of people getting their undies all in a twist over whether or not it's OK to use the word Christmas and making themselves nuts with all the gift-giving, maybe it would help to stop and think about why the holiday was celebrated in the first place. So, although I'm not "a believer," I believe in many of the sentiments expressed here.

Letter From Christ

Dear Believers,

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking my name out of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors that decided to celebrate my birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate my birth just, GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Now that I have that off my chest let me go on:

If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting my birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity on your own front lawn. If all my followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be one every few feet all over town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a "holiday tree" instead of a Christmas tree. That tree never actually symbolized me anyway. The tree was a part of an old pagan ritual, people just started calling it by my name, then a few folks added an angel on top and a Nativity at the bottom to remind them of my birth.

If you want to give me a give me a present in remembrance of my birth here is my wish list—just choose something from it.

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way my birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up, it will be nice hearing from you.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of my birth. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that's hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt take their own life this season because they are feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile—it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word.

8. If you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in my presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Finally don't ever forget that I'm God. I can take care of myself. All you need to do is obey my commandments and let me take care of the rest.....

9 Candles

Nine years ago tonight I was recovering from the 28 hours of labor it took to push Stephanie out. I remember one of the nurses noticing that it was the winter solstice. "Oh, this is the longest night of the year!" she said. "Gee, ya think?"

Well, now my big girl has pierced ears and a proud smile on her face. Nothing could ruin her buzz tonight, not even Julie throwing up into her plate of cake and ice cream. (She was up most of last night and home from school today with a tummy ache. Now we know why.)

Happy Birthday, Steph!

Queen Sudoku Nerd

Although I haven't mentioned it lately, I am still completely addicted to sudoku. I have done so many that I can now complete even the "evil" or "fiendish" ones with no trouble. I love the beauty of a perfectly logical puzzle that has a unique solution and requires absolutely no guessing. Moreover, I find that doing one last puzzle online before bed clears my brain of all the words and ideas swirling around and gets me in a good frame of mind for sleep. For a while I was doing them all day long, but now I just do one at bedtime and occasionally one in the car if I'm a little early to pick up Julie at preschool.

So a couple of weeks ago the Boston Globe started putting a sudoku in the Sunday magazine. The first week it was so easy I could barely write fast enough to fill in the boxes. But the second week, I got stuck. And I never get stuck. When you do them often enough, you know all the logic necessary to complete a puzzle, and there's really no way to get stuck. So I erased and started again. I reached the same point and couldn't go any farther. I checked my progress with the answer (printed upside-down at the bottom of the page, duh!) and saw that I had done everything correct so far. There was just no way to proceed without guessing, which is a no-no. I waited until last Sunday, sure that I would see a correction printed in the magazine, apologizing for the error in the puzzle. Nothing! So I fired off an e-mail to complain. I was a little nervous, even though I knew I had to be right, so I was relieved when someone over at CooksTalk (I told you we don't talk exclusively about food!) said that the puzzle had to be wrong because when you first look at a sudoku, it has to be diagonally symmetrical (that is, the numbers that they give you have to be positioned in a mirror-image way across the puzzle as divided diagonally—sorry, I can't explain it any more clearly) and this one is not. There is one digit missing, and that would have led me to solve it easily. And someone else at CooksTalk solved it by trial and error and got a different but equally correct solution, so that's yet another reason it has to be wrong. I'm very eager to hear back from the Globe!

Peter Keane

If you regularly read my Friday iPod Random playlists, you've probably seen the name Peter Keane come up frequently. I can't understand why this guy doesn't get more recognition. I think he perfectly captures the musical style of Mississipppi John Hurt—and also does a good job with his own style too. We saw him perform live some years ago and I recently sent a friend to see him in Austin (where he lives and plays almost nightly—I think he's stopped touring). Anyhow, he's now put free MP3s up of most of his stuff here. One of my favorites of his CDs is missing, though, and you can't find it at Amazon. It's called "Walkin' Around" and is definitely worth listening to if you like what you hear from the other CDs. I'm happy to e-mail you the MP3s or burn you a CD if you want. "The Goodnight Blues" is my other favorite, followed by "Another Kind of Blue" and then "Milton Street."

Intelligent Design Decision

In an opinion issued Tuesday, U.S. District Judge John Jones ruled that teaching "intelligent design" would violate the Constitutional separation of church and state.

"We have concluded that it is not [science], and moreover that ID cannot uncouple itself from its creationist, and thus religious, antecedents," Jones writes in his 139-page opinion posted on the court's Web site.

"To be sure, Darwin's theory of evolution is imperfect. However, the fact that a scientific theory cannot yet render an explanation on every point should not be used as a pretext to thrust an untestable alternative hypothesis grounded in religion into the science classroom or to misrepresent well-established scientific propositions," Jones writes.

I find this very reassuring. At the same time, it's more than a little scary that we need a legal ruling to escape being sucked into the fundie vortex.

Pie à la Mode

I finally typed out the recipe for the apple pie Andy made for Thanksgiving (and earlier; photo here). As I said before, it's his favorite because he gets the best of both worlds: an apple pie bottom crust and filling with an apple crisp topping.

This recipe is long but not difficult. Two notes: If the thought of Crisco skeeves you out as much as it does me, you can buy Spectrum organic trans-fat-free solid vegetable shortening at Whole Foods. (Although, to be fair, I see that Crisco now makes a trans-fat-free version, too.) Also, we can never find Pippin apples, so we just go with whatever looks good.

Apple Pie with Oatmeal-Pecan Topping

Crust:
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 Tbsp firmly packed light brown sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2” pieces
1/4 cup solid vegetable shortening
1/4 cup old-fashioned oats
1 Tbsp water

Filling:
5 Pippin apples (about 2 lbs.), peeled, cored, thinly sliced
1/4 cup sugar
1 Tbsp all-purpose flour
1 tsp cinnamon

Topping:
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp salt
6 Tbsp (3/4 stick) chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2” pieces
1/2 cup old-fashioned oats
3 Tbsp chopped pecans

Make crust: Combine first 4 ingredients in food processor. Add butter and shortening and process until mixture resembles coarse meal. Add oats and pulse to blend. Mix in water and process until moist clumps form. Gather dough into ball; flatten ball into disk. Wrap in plastic and refrigerate at least 30 minutes or up to 3 days. (If you do let it go that long, let it soften slightly at room temperature before continuing.)

Heat oven to 400°.

Make filling: Combine all ingredients in large bowl and toss well.

Make topping: Combine flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and salt in food processor. Add butter and process until mixture forms small moist clumps. Mix in oats and pecans.

Roll out dough disk between sheets of waxed paper to 11” round. Peel off top sheet of paper. Invert dough into 9” glass pie dish. Peel off paper. Press dough into dish, patching any holes with your fingers. Trim dough, leaving a 1/2” overhang. Fold edges under and crimp decoratively. Spoon filing into crust. Sprinkle topping over filling.

Put pie in oven to bake. After 20 minutes, cover crimped edges with foil. Bake for another 35 minutes or so, until crust and topping are golden brown, apples are tender, and juices bubble thickly. Cool slightly. Serve warm with vanilla ice cream.

I Got Game!

I love the game SET and am really good at it, but I can never find anyone to play it with me. So imagine my delight to find it online! Only one game a day, but still, that's one game more a day than I was getting in real life....

This looks like a fun parlor game—a cross between Telephone and Pictionary. I rarely get a chance to do this sort of thing, though.

Ooh, I like this one, although the strategy is just barely beginning to dawn on me.

Imagine a bunch of strangers sitting around in front of someone's fridge moving the magnetic letters around. Hey, quit stealing my letters!

Sprachgefuhl!

I found a great word to describe me, but I'd feel like too much of an idiot ever saying it. There aren't too many German words you can just drop into your speech without sounding like a pretentious asshole. I particularly like schadenfreude, weltanschauung, and weltschmerz, because they have connotations not easily conveyed in English. (Look 'em up here if you don't know what they mean or how to pronounce them.)

Two Thumbs Up

I'm starting to believe that any documentary that begins with the letter M has to be a winner. I've already reported that "March of the Penguins" was breathtaking and that "Mad Hot Ballroom" was beautiful and touching. Add to the list "Murderball," which just blew me away this weekend. It's the story of the U.S. quadriplegic rugby team, but if you think you're in for a feel-good human-interest story or a don't-drive-drunk pity-party, you're only about 10% right. This is an amazing look at real people whose lives changed in just about the hugest way imaginable (nearly everyone featured broke his neck in his teens or twenties) and how they moved on with their lives. In one of the special features on the DVD (trust me, you won't be able to get enough of these guys), Larry "What an Idiot" King asks them what they'd do if someone came to them with a magic pill that would make them able-bodied again, and not one of them said they'd take it. They are medal-winning athletes who travel the world, meet lots of people, get interviewed on TV, have wives and girlfriends, etc. They claim that they're living a life that is in many ways greater than what they ever dreamed for themselves. Most of them are also doing very rewarding work helping newly injured people (including soldiers arriving home from Iraq without limbs) realize that a full life is available to them. I promise you, once you meet Mark Zupan and his teammates, you'll never look at a person in a wheelchair the same again.

How I Know I'm Old, Part Deux

4. I recently broke down and bought a magnifying glass because I can't read the fine print on packaging anymore.
5. Whenever I encounter my mailman in the neighborhood, I can't stop myself from making a comment about the weather.
6. Every pocket of every garment I own contains a spare tissue, just in case.

Reverse Pyramid Scheme?

Every time I buy a book from half.com, they wait a few weeks and then ask me if I'm ready to sell it back. Recently I bought a book for Steph for 75¢; last week I got an e-mail from them with the heading "Want $0.00? Sell your items on Half.com." Gee, thanks for the hot tip!

How I Know I'm Old

1. I don't care how I look in the winter, as long as I'm warm. (Corollary: I tell other people's children to pull their hats down over their ears.)
2. When Pete realized the other day that someday he'd be "Grandpa Pete," I said, "Alevei!" which is Yiddish for "It should happen to you!" (similar to saying "God willing!").
3. I can remember when toothpaste and Neosporin came in metal tubes that would crack as you rolled them up, and the painted labels would chip off. I was thinking of this when Stephanie got her ears pierced, because I remember putting Neosporin on my earrings the first few times I changed them after getting them pierced.

Stupid Comcast, Stupid Verizon

I have Comcast for my high-speed Internet connection and for my cable TV, but I have Verizon for my phone service. Comcast called recently to see whether I'd like to switch to their phone service, which would save me $20/month and include unlimited long-distance service, which I most definitely do not currently get from Verizon. I said sure. So the guy came out today, fiddled around for an hour, and then declared my house un-Comcast-phone-able. Gee, that was a useful way to spend the morning! The worst part of it all was that he doesn't get paid for today, because he didn't complete a job!

This is not the first time this sort of thing has happened. When I first decided to get high-speed Internet, I kept getting flyers from Verizon for their DSL. I finally called and said I'd like to sign up, and they informed me that my house can never ever have DSL because my thingamajig doesn't work with their whattayacallit. Fine, so I went with Comcast. Then, months later, Verizon calls to ask if I'd like their DSL, and I tell them that one of their own people said I can't, and they say, "Oh, sure you can, someone must have been mistaken when they told you that." Well, too bad, because I'm not changing my e-mail addy again.

Happiest Girl in the World

Today was the big day! Per Lauren's suggestion, we went to Natural Cosmetics at the Chestnut Hill Mall, which turned out to be exactly what I was hoping for: a bunch of very fancy-schmancy middle-aged women fawning all over us (as opposed to a bored teenager earning a few extra bucks over the holidays, which is what I feared about Claire's, somehow). They drew the dots on Steph's earlobes and redrew the dots until we were all satisfied, then BLAT! BLAT! and it was all done. Steph was very jittery but not exactly scared. I was the one who cried when it was done, instead of her. The earrings look green in the photo, but they're blue. She hasn't stopped grinning all day.

After it was done, one of the women totally took advantage of my vulnerability and starting putting makeup all over me, and the next thing I knew I had purchased $75 worth of stuff I have no need for. I told them they could expect a thank-you card from Mom and Grandma for achieving what 25 years of nagging had failed to do. Lauren thought that was the funniest part of the whole story. That woman could have sold ice cubes to Eskimos—there was no way to say No to her. Sigh.

Puzzling

It's been years since I have been in control of my weekends enough to make sure I'm near my radio for Will Shortz's Sunday Puzzle on Weekend Edition Sunday mornings. So I was delighted a few weeks ago to discover that I could subscribe to an RSS feed for the podcast (and to think, a year ago I couldn't have told you what that last sentence even meant!). I also subscribe to the feeds for NPR's podcasts of their food stories, book stories, "story of the day," and more. Then I can listen to them at my leisure (such as it is). You can check out all the available podcasts here—you can also just choose to listen to them right then and there rather than subscribe. Anyhow, back to the Puzzle: I kick butt on the Puzzle. I always get them all right and always faster than the contestant—and usually faster than Liane Hansen. I was brought back down to earth last week, though, when the contestant said, at the end, "Wow, it's much harder to solve the Puzzle on the air than it is in my own living room!" to which Liane responded, "That's what everyone tells us!" That's all I need, to finally get on the show and then freeze up and go home with my tail between my legs.

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Dirty Deal Blues - Peter Keane
2. It Ain't Easy - Chris Smither
3. Standin' Round Crying - Eric Clapton
4. Little Bitch - Specials
5. Oye Mi Amor - Maná
6. I'm Free From the Chain Gang Now - Jorma Kaukonen
7. Graffiti Limbo - Michelle Shocked
8. Fields of Gold - Eva Cassidy
9. Jamaica Say You Will - Jackson Browne
10. It Was a Good Year - Ray Charles & Willie Nelson

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: What is a word that your family uses that would not be considered common?
peh: As a noun, it means something yucky but nonspecific, as in "Hold still for a sec, Julie, you have some peh in your hair." It can also be used as an urgent exclamation ("Peh!"), most notably with small children, meaning "DON'T PUT THAT IN YOUR MOUTH!" (as in the case of an M&M that was retrieved from the street).

Soup: What theme of calendar do you have on your wall this year?
Food photography. I am always searching for a really great kitchen calendar; the last couple of years I've gotten the Edibles calendar, which is OK but not thrilling.

Salad: Name 3 people you speak with on a daily basis.
The only people I speak to every single day are Andy and the kids.

Main Course: If you could put a new tattoo on someone you know - who would it be, what would the tattoo be of, and where would you put it on them?
Dumb question. It's up to the person who wants a tattoo to choose it and its location.

Dessert: What is the last beverage you drank out of a glass bottle?
The only beverage I ever drink right out of the bottle is beer, and I haven't had one in quite a while.

I'm Ba-a-a-ck!

My apologies to those of you who tried to tune in to verbatim today, only to be greeted by old news. It wasn't my fault, really! Bad, Typepad, bad!

For the most part, I've been very satisfied with TypePad, who hosts my blog. They've had a few power outages here and there, but nothing ever affected me for more than a few minutes here or there. In November, they sent out an e-mail to all TypePad users, hoping to make up for any service interruptions in the previous month. They asked us to choose what level of refund we each felt we deserved:   

• While the performance issues caused me some inconvenience I mainly found the service acceptable last month. Give me 15 free days of TypePad. (This was the default option, and the one I chose.)
• The performance issues made it very difficult for me to use the service on multiple occasions during the month. Give me 30 free days of TypePad.
• The performance issues affected me greatly, making my experience unacceptable for most of the month. Give me 45 free days of TypePad.
• I really wasn't affected and feel I got the great service I paid for last month. Thank you for the offer, but please don't credit my account.

In truth, even though today I've been unable to post anything new to verbatim, you've been unable to read my last week's worth of posts, and you've been unable to comment, I still feel that TypePad provides good service. Here's hoping they get the rest of this mess cleaned up soon, like my outdated sidebar lists.

I Heart Viggo

Viggo Mortensen's political position: "I'm not anti-Bush; I'm anti-Bush behavior. In other words, I'm against cheating, greed, cruelty, racism, imperialism, religious fundamentalism, treason, and the seemingly limitless capacity for hypocrisy shown by Bush and his Administration." (from The Progressive via The Scoop as seen in Salon*)

*In other news, I've finally figured out how to make my links open in a new window—view my source code and look for target="new".)

Say What?

Every now and then I like to check on who stumbles upon verbatim because of a Google search—and, more importantly, what they were searching for in the first place. Here are some recent doozies:

24 hour stomach bug - I get several hits every week for this one, my very first post.
inquiry vs enquiry  - This is also a frequent flyer around here. Glad to help.
I see said the blind man - This is just a phrase people say now and again—what the heck are people Googling it for?
korabuta pork - Delish.
Michael Chiarello gay - This is by far the #1 search term that leads people here. And the funny thing is, I've never once addressed the question of whether he is gay. I definitely slammed mentioned him, but I never talked about his sexuality. If I had to guess, I would say he is gay, but I do notice that (especially lately?) he mentions his wife and daughter every other minute on his show and they've also gotten big on the wedding-ring cam while he's cooking. Whatever.
shark cakes - I didn't make it, people, OK? I bought it.
strabismus depth perception glasses - My little Julie.
le parkour orange county - Very cool.
the amazing mr woo - Also very cool.
Karen bulge swim suit - I most definitely didn't put these words all together in any one post. I'm sure of it.
leonard pinth garnell - Get it? Get it?
spatchcock chicken how cook - Delish.
paella christmas - Delish.
winston wolf - We have a problem.

'Tis the Season

So today was the day when I pull all the bags out of the closet and see what I have accumulated for Hanukkah gifts. I spend months just buying everything in sight—anything that catches my eye—and then a couple of weeks before Hanukkah, I survey what I've got. Usually I have way too much stuff for Pete, because he's so easy to buy for. This year? Not so much. Only six gifts, plus one that I no longer think will interest him (a set of knights I bought when he was into knights). Julie has just about enough stuff for eight nights. Stephanie is trickier, because her birthday also has to be taken into consideration; yes, she's getting her ears pierced, but I want to give her a couple of other things as well. So now I have big bags of items to be returned to Costco, Learning Express, Target, and the like—things I bought in the last month or two (or three) that  don't seem right anymore. I like to give the kids a big gift on the first and last nights of Hanukkah, a gift that all will share on another night (which is getting harder and harder—this year I think it will be two or three board games), a gift that is the same for each of them for another night (also getting tricky—this year it's three mini Tamagotchis and three  light-up toothbrushes), and the other four nights something small to medium. Plus I have to buy gifts for them that are really "from" Andy's parents—we've discovered that that works out best (and they get their smallest gifts from us on the night that those are presented). I'm very glad I don't have to think about Stephanie's birthday party until January. We discovered years ago that that's the way to go.

Reason for Another Cuppa PG Tips

Don't you love when you find out that something you've been ingesting just for the pleasure of it turns out to be healthful? A new study presents evidence that the more tea women drink, the lower their incidence of ovarian cancer. I wonder whether the incidence of ovarian cancer in the U.K. is lower than in the U.S., because women there drink more tea than women here.

A Surprise from Romney

Our pinheaded governor did something sensible yesterday:

Governor Mitt Romney reversed course on the state's new emergency contraception law yesterday, saying that all hospitals in the state will be obligated to provide the morning-after pill to rape victims. The decision overturns a ruling made public this week by the state Department of Public Health that privately run hospitals could opt out of the requirement if they objected on moral or religious grounds.

Needless to say, the many Catholic hospitals in the area were not pleased.

Movies

1. I recently took Steph and Pete to see "Yours, Mine, and Ours." All I have to say is that Dennis Quaid is still awfully cute, and I still don't care for Rene Russo.

2. Stephanie is out of her mind with excitement that "Cheaper by the Dozen II" comes out on her birthday.

3. I did end up watching all of "Glengarry Glen Ross" again with Andy. Go ahead, try to name a more depressing character than Shelley Levine, played by Jack Lemmon.

4. "Office Space" was a terrific treat—a small, very funny riff on cubicle life. I don't know what was funnier, the whole bit about the TPS reports or Jennifer Aniston's "flair" problem at Chotchkies.

5. Another surprise was "Garden State," which was not a great movie by any means but certainly had some great moments. None of them involved Natalie Portman, unfortunately. Why is it that she is always given a ridiculously unbelievable script? The first time we ever saw her was in "The Professional," where she had to play this preposterously precocious (say that ten times fast!) little girl in the care of a hit man. Then, in "Beautiful Girls," she was a slightly older but still wise-beyond-her-years teen playing opposite Timothy Hutton. I absolutely hated her in "Closer" and couldn't find anything redeeming or believable about her character at all. She's cute as a button, so why can't someone give her a decent script? I bet she could act if given the chance.

6. When Annie Proulx's short story "Brokeback Mountain" appeared in the New Yorker some years ago, it absolutely knocked my socks off. I read it twice, which I pretty much never do. So I'm thrilled to hear that it's been made into a movie—one that Proulx herself is pleased with and that is getting great reviews.

Breaking News

A couple of weeks ago, I opened a new package of Q-Tips and couldn't help noticing that they seemed flimsier than usual. After swabbing my ears out every morning of my life, I've come to expect a particular resistence to gentle pressure. Andy noticed too. So, of course, being the nerd that I am, I called Unilever to complain. The customer service rep assured me that they had not changed the formulation of the swab-shaft and that I must have gotten a bad batch. She sent me a coupon for a free box, along with a postage-paid label to return the inferior product. I'm happy to report that the new box I got today (and talk about a deal: I used the free coupon and it was "buy one, get one free" day!) contains the same firm swabs I'm used to. You can all rest easy now.

(Tell the truth, did anyone think they'd accidentally wandered onto The Dullest Blog in the World just then?)

Chief Bottlewasher

Today was limoncello bottling day chez verbatim, but so far I haven't been able to make a label I like, so no photos yet.

Holiday Party, Part Deux

Last night Vinita and Manesh had their annual holiday party. At first we didn't think we'd get to go (or, at least, not together) because Brooke couldn't sit for us two nights in a row. But Vinita's au pair found us another au pair who was available; and whereas I would normally be nervous about leaving the kids with someone new, I figured that being directly across the street would put me at ease. And it did. We had a lovely time, hanging out with friends from the neighborhood as well as some other people we met at their party last year and really enjoyed. (Isn't that a curious phenomenon, when you look forward to being with certain people whom you see only at a mutual friend's parties?) So I think we are all partied out for the season, although I always imagine throwing our own party one of these days. We've never really entertained more than two couples at a time, aside from family.

Nor'easter

If you've seen the news today, you know that New England got hit hard yesterday with a blizzard. The snow started falling, lightly, early in the morning—lightly enough that the kids went to school. When I picked up Julie at preschool at 1:00, it was still falling, perhaps a little more heavily, but nothing too bad. Soon enough, though, it really began to start swirling. That's the moment when I made a error in judgment: I should have gone right over to the school and picked the kids up instead of waiting for dismissal time at 3:00. (In case you're wondering, there would have to be a major emergency for them to send kids home from school before dismissal time, because they'd never be able to reach all the parents and it would be utter chaos.)

We live just a few blocks from school, but I couldn't figure out how to get there. Julie is too small to walk through such deep snow, she's too heavy for me to carry her all that way, and there was no way a stroller would be able to make it through the snow. So we got in the car. It was the worst driving conditions I've ever experienced. I could barely get the car out of the driveway, and once I was on the street, I couldn't see a thing. It was a complete whiteout. I made my way slowly down the street, but then what? I had to find a place to park that was far enough over to the side that I wouldn't get hit but not so far over that I'd get stuck. I did the best I could, about a block from the school, then carried Julie from the car. The wind was whipping little ice particles all around our faces; I could barely keep my eyes open and Julie was crying. We made it into the school, got the kids, and went back out to the car. The drive home was just as terrifying. The defogger wasn't working fast enough, so I had my head out the window, trying out make out other cars' head- and tail-lights. We got home, but I couldn't maneuver the car back into the driveway. At one point I was stuck at an angle that completely blocked the road. I finally managed to pull over pretty close to the side, and we went into the house for hot chocolate. By about 3:45 or so, the wind and all precipitation had vanished, but the snow was of course still everywhere.

Andy spent nearly 2 hours driving his usual 20-minute commute; he promptly began shoveling the driveway and got both cars into the garage.

Brooke definitely wins the Most Valuable Player award for the day. She called from work at about 4:00 to see whether we still wanted her to babysit; I said that it was up to her whether she wanted to drive here. She left right about then and drove straight to our house, which also took about 2 hours for an otherwise 20-minute commute.

So we walked to our neighbors' party two houses down the street and had a very nice evening. Talk invariably turned to comparisons of snowblowers; I think it's time we got one! We have a guy who comes to plow our driveway and shovel our stairs—and he did come sometime in the middle of the night—but Andy certainly would have been saved a lot of back-breaking work if we'd had one.

Here's a scene of three happy kids today:

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: Name something you'll miss about 2005.
The beautiful weather we had all summer and most of the fall. I can't remember another year that was so consistently pleasant.

Salad: What is one thought that went through your mind today?
That the one weekend of the year when we're invited to two parties and managed to get two babysitters, we're in the middle of a blizzard and Steph and Julie both have lousy colds.

Soup: On a scale of 1–10 with 10 being highest, how compassionate would you say you are?
8

Main Course: If you could invent something, what would it be?
I'm imagining a device that keeps snow and ice off the car, particularly the windows, and a car windshield defogger that works instantly.

Dessert: Do you prefer salty snacks or sweet treats?
That's a close one, but I think that salty snacks would win in a showdown.

Friday Fiver

Head to Toes

1. What's on your feet?
black socks

2. Turn to your right -- what do you see?
a near white-out through the window

3. What is the last thing you ate?
Parrano cheese and some crostini crackers

4. What can you smell right now?
Heavy Duty HandGear

5. Do you wear hats?
only in the winter if it's very cold

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. It's Up to You - Specials
2. Such a Night (live) - David Bromberg
3. Ophelia - The Band
4. You've Got a Friend (live) - Carole King & James Taylor
5. Train Fifty - Peter Keane
6. Ol' 55 - Tom Waits
7. Two Princes - Spin Doctors
8. Imagine - Eva Cassidy
9. Bar Room Girls (live) - Gillian Welch & David Rawlings
10. My Girl - Loudon Wainwright & John Hiatt   

Book Group

We met last night at Heather's, over biscuits and honey, to discuss The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. I thought the writing was positively gorgeous, and I definitely enjoyed the story. My only complaint was that most of the characters—particularly the black characters—seemed to have come right out of Central Casting: the sassy, fat nanny; the handsome teen-aged boy who plans to go to law school; the regal and wise "queen bee"; and so on. Every single black character was good and smart and noble and deep, which I found somehow patronizing, in a reverse-discrimination kind of way. And the white characters were similarly two-dimensional, from the no-good peach farmer to the civil rights lawyer. I was willing to forgive it all, though, for the lush descriptions and well-wrought phrases. I also found the extended beekeeping metaphor effective and interesting. 

On a side note, Andy and I have already seen "Glengarry Glen Ross" 50 bazillion times, but Andy wants to see it again. We planned for Netflix to get it here yesterday, so he could watch it himself while I was at Heather's. Alas, it didn't arrive until today, so he can watch it tonight while I start catching up on five weeks' worth of New Yorkers that have been languishing on my coffee table.

Ready! Aim! Fire!

Steph now talks nonstop about getting her ears pierced (as opposed to when she used to talk nonstop about wanting to get them pierced). If we played Six Degrees of Stephanie's Ears, I bet you couldn't name someone who isn't related in six or fewer moves to someone who now knows she's getting her ears pierced. Today I took Kathy's suggestion and picked up a copy of the Judith Viorst book Earrings!—which we probably should have had on hand for the last couple of years!

Stephanie keeps asking for details about how it's done. She's not even a little nervous, being the trouper she is about blood tests and shots, but she is curious. I've been trying to explain the "gun" that is used, that they will draw dots on her earlobes to make sure they're even, and so on. Well, today I came right up to her ear with my hand in a gun shape to demonstrate and she said, "Oh! I thought they do it from far away and have to aim really well!" The poor kid was imagining someone firing an earring gun at her from across the room! Andy took that a step farther and said, "Yeah, that's how people end up with pierced noses and eyebrows and lips and stuff—when they miss shooting at the earlobes!" We all laughed a lot over that at dinnertime tonight.

Hookt on Fonx

At our school, the teachers encourage kids to write freely and creatively without regard to spelling. They most definitely teach proper spelling, but it's done separately. The idea is to help foster creativity in a risk-free way. So, for instance, Pete has 10 spelling words to learn each week and has a spelling test every Friday. But he also has to write 10 sentences, each using one of his 10 spelling words for the week. Only the spelling word needs to be spelled properly; the rest is done in what they call "sound spelling." Hilarity ensues. Here's last week's offerings, with spelling words underscored—and "translations" following:

1. I am from a margack.          I am from America.
2. Or yow a sbas alin.         Are you a space alien? (He spelled or correctly but thought it was are—I swear, sometimes he sounds like he's from Brooklyn.)
3. I have a ckol toy.         I have a cool toy.
4. No such thing as mosrs.          No such thing as monsters.
5. My dad chops big pess of wod.         My dad chops big pieces of wood.
6. I woch to much TV.         I watch too much TV.
7. My cat ets to much fish.         My cat eats too much fish.
8. My chin is vare bude.         My chin is very bloody.
9. My ue lash is at.         My eye lash is out.
10. I shop for los of yos.         I shop for lots of toys.

Usually I can see where he gets his phonetic spelling—woch for watch or vare for very. Other times . . . not so much (ue? yos?). Once he wrote cipdr for computer, and I realized that's pretty much how he pronounces it—at least when he has a cold!

Crispy Fish Tacos

This is a very good Tyler Florence recipe from last summer.  Turns out I don't much like corn tortillas, though, so I'll use flour tortillas next time.

peanut oil
2 cups panko
3 eggs
2 pounds halibut, snapper, or other firm flesh white fish
8 corn tortillas
1/2 head napa cabbage, shredded
Pink Chili Mayo*
lime wedges

Fill a large heavy bottomed pot about 1/3 full of peanut oil. Heat to 375°. While the oil is heating, put the breadcrumbs into a shallow dish. Break the eggs into another shallow dish, season with kosher salt and pepper, and beat them with 2 tablespoons of water. Cut the fish into 1-inch wide strips. Dip them into the egg, then coat them well with the breadcrumbs. Set aside and let them rest for 10 minutes. Cook the fish a few pieces at a time until golden brown and cooked through, about 3 to 5 minutes. Drain on paper towels.

Heat a dry cast iron skillet over medium heat. Warm a corn tortilla in the pan until it softens, about 30 seconds. Place a fish strip on it, top with some of the shredded cabbage, and a big dollop of Pink Chili Mayo. Squeeze on some lime juice, roll up, and eat!

*Pink Chili Mayo
1 1/2 cups mayonnaise
1 1/2 cups sour cream
2 canned chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
juice of 1/2 lime

Put the mayonnaise, sour cream, peppers, and lime juice in a blender and process to a puree. Refrigerate the mayo for 1/2 hour to let the flavors to blend; taste and adjust seasoning with kosher salt and pepper.