Book Group

Last night we met on Janet's lovely new porch to drink sangria and iced tea and discuss Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See. Don't be put off by the gimmicky chick-lit title and cover; this was really worthwhile reading! It takes place in imperial China and tells the story of Lily and Snow Flower, two "old sames" (best friends for life). Life totally sucked for women in that time and place; they were brought up to believe that they were worthless ("empty branches" of the family tree who just need to be fed until they can "marry out"). By far the most upsetting section discussed the foot-binding. I had never realized what actually happened (breaking all the toes, for starters) or that many girls died of infection. (If you are really curious, you can Google-image it, but you will be sorry.) The ideal foot was considered 7 centimeters long; that would practically guarantee a high "bride price." A mother had to bind her young daughter's feet to assure that she could marry (since no man would marry a woman whose feet weren't bound) and hopefully bear sons, the greatest "accomplishment" any woman could aspire to. We talked a lot about things we as mothers do to/for our daughters (and sons) because we want them to have a happy, safe, comfortable life—things that might not seem so great at the time that we're doing them. Of course there's nothing as violent as foot-binding in our culture today, but as Sheila put it, we mothers are indeed "accomplices" in creating and perpetuating the ideals of what girls and women should be in our society, from how to dress and groom to how to act and speak. Anyhow, there was plenty to discuss and think about with this one. Next up is Teacher Man by Frank McCourt.

Comments

[Karan]

I wanna be in your book club.

[Maribel]

Hi Karen,
Unfortunately there is something as violent as foot-binding that exists today: clitorectomy or female genital mutilation. It might be argued that this is not taking place within our culture but it's surprisingly widespread and occurs with some frequency in Toronto, for example. Young girls who are born in North America are forced to undergo this procedure as their parents fear that they will be unmarriageable if they don't. Alice Walker's novel "Possessing the Secret of Joy" deals with this troubling issue. My book club read it a number of years ago and it provoked one of the most spirited discussions we'd had as a group. (I don't mean to come off as pedantic).

[Karen]

Yes, we did mention that at book group, but I guess I didn't realize it occurs in North America. We were trying to think of something that we ourselves do to/for our daughters as a "favor" to help them have a better life -- something that doesn't seem like much of a "favor" at the time. Like urging them to conform or act girly or whatever.

I don't know if I could read that book. It would haunt me forever.