verbatim

Dare to Cover the Band?

This is a very belated review of "Endless Highway," the tribute album to the Band. You know I'm a sucker for tribute albums, even though they're rarely any good. I get wowed by the list of performers, then realize all too late that the whole thing sucks. But not so in this case! There are quite a few winners in this collection. (And some real dogs too, like Trevor Hall covering "Life Is a Carnival.") Maybe it's no surprise that the songs I think work best are those that don't stray too far from the original format. I would never go so far as to suggest that any of them is an improvement over the originals, but here's my take on some of the better tracks:

• "King Harvest" - Bruce Hornsby: I didn't even recognize his voice here, but it sounds great.
• "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" (live) - Allman Brothers: This is excellent. The fact that a southern band is doing a southern song doesn't hurt. I've always liked Gregg Allman's voice, sweet and gritty at the same time.
• "I Shall Be Released" - Jack Johnson: This is nice enough, certainly nothing objectionable. He turns it into more of a mainstream pop song, which is OK, but I am most surely not brought to the brink of tears as I am when I listen to the original "Big Pink" Richard Manuel version with Rick Danko and Levon Helm doing backup harmonies.
• "Up on Cripple Creek" - Gomez: I had never even heard of Gomez, and I would have thought that attempting to cover this song was a big mistake, but it works.
• "Acadian Driftwood" - The Roches: This is a gorgeous arrangement, and they have the confidence to depart from the original successfully.

Meanwhile, the reviews praised Lee Ann Womack's version of "The Weight," but I found it just plain uninteresting. Of the many covers of this song (and I have about a dozen in my iTunes library), I tend to prefer the ones that follow in the "Last Waltz" tradition of having someone different do each verse.

Big Bully Radio Signal

Aside from when I'm at the gym (which I haven't visited in a few weeks...), I use my iPod exclusively in the car, with my iTrip thingy tuned to 87.9. Here in Boston we have tons of radio stations, and that's pretty much the only really vacant spot on the dial. Which is exactly what the XM/Sirius/whatever satellite radio people discovered, because that's where they all tune in. And they have a way stronger signal, so all day long I drive by certain vehicles and my faggy little folk songs get drowned out by none other than Howard Stern! As if to add insult to injury! Anyone in Boston know another good spot on the dial for me to tune in?

Update (6/1/07): Gee, that didn't take long! Love me some Internets.

Ups and Downs

Good news: Yesterday I finally finished up that ginormous Italian project I'd been working on for what seemed like eons. That'll be a nice paycheck when it comes in!

Bad news: I was so intent on finishing up that I forgot that I volunteer in Pete's classroom every single Tuesday morning. D'oh!

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

Without looking at myself, asking myself any questions, or consulting an oracle, I will now present you with my Wiki reading:

Ten of Wands is a Minor Arcana Tarot card.

Tarot cards are used throughout much of Europe to play Tarot card games.

In English-speaking countries, where the games are largely unknown, Tarot cards came to be utilized primarily for divinatory purposes .

Most often, the Ten of Wands card carries the meaning of overload and burdening situations where too much responsibilities have been taken by the subject.

This is, in fact, more than a little apropos, since I feel as though I've taken on way too much lately and am being stretched in all directions. I've never had my Tarot cards read, though, have you? If I did it today, I feel certain the Ten of Wands would come up.

Movies

"Almost Famous" - I'm not sure how I missed this one the first time around. What a gem! It's based on director Cameron Crowe's experience as a teenager sent by Rolling Stone to cover a tour of Led Zeppelin (or the Allman Brothers—I've seen both bands cited in different places; the movie's fictional band Stillwater was likely a melange of the two). Crowe is played by someone named Patrick Fugit, who was just fine in the role but didn't knock me out. Most of his costars did, though: in particular, Frances McDormand as his mom, Billy Crudup as Stillwater's lead guitarist, Kate Hudson as the terminal groupie (first time I'd ever seen her, I think), and Philip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs, then editor of Creem. This movie summed up the best of the '70s rock era as I remember it and left me feeling happy and nostalgic.

"This Is Spinal Tap" - Yes, of course I saw this movie when it first came out, back in (gasp!) 1984. But I hadn't seen it again since that first time, and when I learned from TwoBusy that the DVD had audio commentary from Michael McKean, Christopher Guest, and Harry Shearer in character, I couldn't resist. Man, it was just as funny this time around—and possibly more so, because so many of the lines and shticks have become part of our lexicon now. I was amazed at how many entire hunks of dialog I recalled! Great stuff, and those three just nailed it the entire time.

"Color Me Kubrick" - Apparently some guy in London in the '90s really did pose as the reclusive Stanley Kubrick and scammed everybody he could. Not surprisingly, people so desperately want to know someone famous that they will frequently toss aside all reason and good judgment. There's no great revelation here, but it is a fun movie to watch. Every time I think John Malkovich couldn't get any weirder or oilier, he goes and does it.

Chapter 11.0

I'm pretty good at turning around emails in a timely fashion; sure, one or two might slip by me every now and again, but for the most part I stay on top of the deluge. Apparently this is not the case for many people out there, and some have gotten to the point where they need to declare email bankruptcy: They just delete everything in their inbox and start all over again. I love the term email bankruptcy—isn't it perfect?

Word Power

According to the folks at the American Heritage Dictionary, these are the "100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know."

What a bizarre list. Everyone knows what auspicious, plagiarize, and vehement mean, no? And no one really needs to know what thermodynamics, ziggurat, or moiety mean. And why feckless? Who says feckless anymore? Or churlish, chicanery, or jejune? (Well, I do say jejune, but only to be pretentious.) I take issue with almost every word on the list.

(Via the Nag on the Lake)

Date Night

Last night Andy and I went out for what's becoming a typical date night for us: a movie and dinner at the bar at Legal's. We saw "The Namesake," and I think this may be the first time ever that I preferred a movie to the book it was based on! As you may recall, I was ultimately underwhelmed by the book; as much as I appreciated Jhumpa Lahiri's writing and the basic premise, the whole thing never really came together for me. Under Mira Nair's direction, however, the movie version took the book one step further and was a resounding success. The story is for the most part the oft-told one of a family divided between their own cultural identity and "Americanism"; in this case, a marriage is arranged in Calcutta, and the couple moves to New York, where they raise children who are—or at least think they want to be—American in every way.

The main gripe I had with the book, however, carries over into the movie. The title refers to the fact that the main character is named Gogol, after the Russian writer. He struggles with this name his whole life, going back and forth between embracing it and rejecting it. But in the end, none of that has anything at all to do with the story. The entire plot of the book and movie could exist without anything to do with the name Gogol (although there would need to be a new title, certainly). It's just an idea that didn't fully develop. The movie was so luscious and moving, though, that I didn't mind it as much as I did in the book.

When Terry Gross interviewed Mira Nair a few months ago, we learned that Nair met and was so taken with Jhumpa Lahiri's parents that she insisted that the actors who played Gogol's parents spend a day with them. I thought that was fascinating. The casting was wonderful, particularly Irfan Khan as the father.

So, I wholeheartedly recommend this movie—considerably more so than the book! Who'da thunk it.

Vodka vs. Vodka

Just read another article reporting on the results of a blind taste-test of premium versus bargain vodkas (an older one is here). It's no surprise to me at all that most people can't distinguish one vodka from the next in a mixed drink, but I was kind of surprised (and somehow pleased) that several of the people who claimed that they prefer Grey Goose to all other vodkas ended up hating it in a blind taste test! I drink almost exclusively Absolut Citron, although as I've mentioned before, I can't stand plain Absolut. I rarely drink plain vodka straight up; when I do I like Level or Svedka or Stoli well enough. I seem to actively dislike all the really high-end vodkas, like Grey Goose and Ketel One (which is just as well, since they're so spendy).

Apparently you can make vodka out of almost anything (potatoes, grain, etc.) and still call it vodka, which seems strange to me. I wonder whether anyone can taste a vodka and tell what it's made of.

In the Swim

Summer arrived yesterday, with temps in the nineties; conveniently, our neighborhood pool opened today for the season. It was ("only") in the eighties today, and boy did that pool feel nice for a couple of hours.

Watching and Waiting

I did finally call about Steph's blood test, and the results were slightly worrisome. First of all, her iron was down again (not her hemoglobin, but other measures of her body's iron stores). So she's going to go back on iron supplements, which she despises, but that may be an easy fix. Next, though, her sed. rate was back up again; this is a generic measure of inflammation somewhere in the body, so it doesn't necessarily point to the colon, but it is a concern. She had a little cold mid-week and even came home early from school one day, so that could be the culprit, but her sed. rate had crept up a bit last November too. Dr. Israel said that since she's asymptomatic, we won't take any action right now (and, in fact, we did just increase her Asacol dosage from 5 to 6 a day, which might help), but we'll go back there in 3 months instead of the usual 6 months.

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Higher Love - Steve Winwood
2. Lie in Our Graves - Dave Matthews
3. Lonestar (live) - Willie Nelson & Norah Jones
4. Harry's Wall - Loudon Wainwright III
5. Laughing River - Greg Brown
6. Charlie Don't Surf - The Crunchies
7. Things You Do to Me - Martin Sexton
8. Ripple (live) - Grateful Dead
9. Maybe Sparrow - Neko Case
10. Pay No Mind (live) - Beck & Flaming Lips

Friday Fiver

I know you're mad about me

1. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

To turn back time, so I could redo things properly, undo things, or remember to do things in the first place!

2. Which is more attractive to you:  physical appearance or personality?

They're both important, of course. There are people who seem more physically attractive to me because they have such great personalities, and people who seem less attractive because they're such assholes (Mel Gibson, I'm talkin' to you!).

3. Who did you last fight with?

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

4. What did you eat last night?

Ribs and cole slaw.

5. Who are you mad about?

Oh, you know this is the all-Johnny all-the-time channel.

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: Name a sound you like to hear.

Hearty belly-laughs from my kids.

Soup: What is your favorite kind of cheese?

I like pretty much all cheeses, except for the rotten blue kind and the real stinkers. My current favorite is Parrano.

Salad: Do you sleep late on Saturday mornings? Why or why not?

When I can, you bet I do! I love to sleep in, but sometimes Andy's and/or the kids' activity schedules don't allow it.

Main Course: When was the last time you forgot something?  What was it, and how long did it take to remember it?

Oh, for god's sake, haven't you been paying attention? I haven't forgotten anything major yet today, or at least as far as I can remember....

Dessert: Fill in the blank:  I notice ____________ when _____________.

I notice people's eyes when they smile.

Everything I've Forgotten

I'm thinking of starting a blog of just the things that I forget to do each day. For instance, yesterday I could have said that I planned my day around a 1:45 date to sit in on Pete's school music class; the teacher had invited the parents to come and hear what they've been working on all year. I decided to skip the gym and work all morning, then arranged to have Julie stay late at preschool so I wouldn't have to bring her. All was going according to plan until I picked Pete up at school at 3:00 and realized I had just flat out forgotten to go.

Did I order milk last night for my weekly delivery today and put out the empties in a cooler? Nope, forgot. I've only been doing it every week for about 6 years, so you can see how I could forget.

Oh, and have I called Dr. Israel yet for the results of Steph's blood test on Monday? Nope, keep forgetting.

There's more, but I can't remember what....

Depp Double-Dipp

Today my Rolling Stone arrived, with this cover. It's like they're, I don't know, different species or something, aren't they? They're both medical marvels: Keef looks like a corpse and should by all rights in fact be dead, while Johnny just does not age at all and keeps getting yummier and yummier.

Then, someone pointed me to this site, where there are new photos of Johnny at his latest Pirates premiere, and now there's drool all over my keyboard. Go take a look and tell me if you can find anything at all wrong with that boy. Oh. My. God.

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

Here's what I got today:

Next is a brand of cigarettes made by Altria. The brand was created by Philip Morris International after tax increases of tobacco in Malaysia pushed Marlboro out of the market. Next is known to be a watered-down version of Marlboro with slight defects in the wrapping paper used although its structural functionally is very durable.

Those tobacco companies, always innovating!

Mr. Jones, the Newest Lolcat

What can I say, I've caught lolcat* fever! Mr. Jones is ready for his debut, but the queue at I Can Has Cheezburger? is so long that I thought I'd post it here too, so you can enjoy him for that much longer.

*In the dark? Start here, then go here, then here, and finally here (if you dare). And if this is your first time visiting Mental Floss, you can thank me later. Oh, and do check out their T-shirts! I even subscribe to their print magazine.

Recipe for a Successful Birthday Party

Combine ten 8-year-old boys in a Lego store. Fold in several bins of Star Wars Lego pieces. Marinate for about 1 hour. Give each boy his choice of a $10 Lego toy to take home. Also give birthday boy a special birthday-only Lego brick.

Carefully transfer all boys to the food court, located in the farthest point in the mall from the Lego store. Serve up several Sbarro pizzas and a Costco cake.

Send everyone home happy.

This was by far the easiest, cheapest party we've ever done. You don't have to pay for the party itself—just the $10 toy per kid, which also means you don't have to worry about goody bags either. And the Sbarro pizza people supplied all the plates, cups, and napkins, so we had to pay for just the pizzas and sodas, and the cake I'd bought at Costco. (I had originally intended to buy a Lego cake mold and make a Lego-shaped cake. That idea lasted 8 or 9 seconds. Then I was going to buy a handful of loose Legos and spell out "Happy Birthday Pete" in Legos on a plain cake. But the lure of the baseball-themed $16 Costco sheet cake won out.)

Here's me and Andy at the party, patiently awaiting our post-party cocktails:

All OK on the GI Front

Steph had a good appointment with Dr. Israel yesterday. Asacol seems to be the magic bullet for her, at least for now. And we made a decision that I'm very pleased about: For more than three years, her regimen has been two pills every morning, one every lunchtime, and two every night. It never really occurred to me that her dose might need to be increased as she gains weight, and she's nearly doubled her weight in that time! But I did always find the lunchtime pill to be a nuisance (mostly for her, of course, but also for me)—she has to go to the nurse's office every day at school or camp, and we always have to remember to bring a pill when we go somewhere for the day. So to address both those issues, now we're going to add a sixth daily pill and do just three every morning and three every night. No more visits to the nurse! As much as she likes our wonderful school nurse, she did always feel self-conscious that she's pretty much the only kid who takes lunchtime meds.

In keeping with my current inability to keep track of all the details in our lives, for the first time ever, I forgot to bring Steph for her bloodwork last week so we'd have the results to discuss at her appointment. So we did it afterward, and I'll just call Dr. Israel in a day or two to make sure it was all OK. Man-oh-man, what will I forget next?!

Book Group

It's often tricky to schedule our book group meetings around everyone's busy lives, but we've been having an extra-hard time lately. Half of us did finally get to meet last night at Janice's, though, to discuss The Accidental by Ali Smith (after oohing and aahing over Janice's renovated upstairs, complete with a shower unit that I will envy until my dying day).

This was a very strange premise for a book: A woman calling herself Amber shows up one day at the vacation home of a seriously dysfunctional family. No one knows who she is, but everyone kind of assumes that someone else invited her. (Yes, a largish suspension of disbelief is required right off the bat.) She says exactly what's on her mind, does whatever she pleases, and has an at-best questionable sense of morality. She also manages to effect a profound change on each member of the family.

I found the plot itself really interesting and captivating. The writing style left me hot and cold: Some parts were too "experimental" for my tastes, but others were spot-on. There was quite a bit of movie/video imagery and metaphor that didn't quite work well enough for any of us; we were mostly puzzled about what we were supposed to infer from it. We also had more questions than answers about the ending of the book, which for me was a huge disappointment. I don't mind when I don't know what will happen next, after the book is over; but in this case I'm not even 100% sure what happened at the end of the actual book.

This book got rave reviews all around, but I am not sure I would actively recommend it. Did anyone out there read it?

Next up is The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel.

Haircut Plus 13 Days

At Mother's Day, Lisa was surprised to see I'd gotten a (for me) very short haircut; it wasn't so much the length that caught her off guard as the fact that I hadn't mentioned it on my blog! Unforgivable. So, without further ado, here's my latest 'do, albeit 2 weeks old already (and my hair grows fast, so you can imagine how short it was):

I don't think I'll go quite that short again next time, but people keep saying they like it, so we'll see. (Oh, and for the record: Yes, that thing that looks like part of a necklace is in fact a bit of the beaded chain that holds my reading glasses dorkily around my neck all day.)

Breaking News

While I was out, a cat threw up, eschewing all upholstered and carpeted surfaces in favor of an easily wiped tile floor! As far as I know, this has never happened in the history of the world.

My Little Dudette Returns

Steph had a great weekend, despite the rain, on her Girl Scouts trip to the dude ranch. She didn't think she'd want to ride a horse, but she did end up trying it! She got one of those little photo viewer thingies (I remember my parents bringing them back from their vacations to the Catskills in the '60s; they always looked so glamorous in them!); it shows her on a horse and smiling. We're supposed to be receiving a full-size print in the mail soon, so I'll post it then (if I get my scanner to behave, that is). She swam and danced and played games and ate ice cream and generally had a good time. The only thing I can think of that she didn't do was, um, change her underwear. Oops.  

Tikkun Olam*

For the third year in a row, this morning we participated in our temple's annual Mitzvah Day by preparing hundreds of bag lunches for a local soup kitchen that normally just provides one hot meal daily for the homeless community; for one day they'll be able to send people home with a nonperishable lunch too. Each bag got a freshly made PBJ, a snack, a treat, a piece of fruit, and a bottle of water, along with a cheerful kid-made card adorned with drawings and stickers. There are so many worthwhile projects going on every year (writing letters to soldiers overseas, packing up bags of toiletries for women's shelters, bringing pets to visit at a nursing home, and so on), but I always choose this activity because it's such a simple, concrete example for the kids of how we can help others who are less fortunate than we are. "We have more than we need, so we share with others. People who would go hungry today will have a meal because we all chipped in to buy the food and then gave our time to prepare the lunch bags." They really get it, and it feels great.

*Repair the world.

Netflix, Still the Greatest

I just want to say how great the customer service is at Netflix. Last week we received a copy of "Almost Famous" that was unplayable, so I reported it as such online, and I would have sworn that I checked the box that says "Please send me another copy," but apparently I didn't. Anyhow, the guy at the 800 number said that he would send off another copy–even though that means I'll briefly have 4 DVDs at home, instead of 3! w00t!

Polyglot

I just took my recent post about the cemetery plots, translated it into Japanese via Google Translate, and then translated the Japanese back into English. Here's what I got:

As known, whether or not as for me recently really feeling old, we as for us like plotting their two excessive graveyards, from the uncle whom you think in doubt to do to the thing which is buried in Florida which the call yesterday you obtain, in this way, because it does not need the Boston their plotting anymore, problem was not helped the time. Do the people of their 80s suppose fair everyone the cause of thinking concerning these raw materials? Sheesh.

When You Care Enough to Hit Send

Can't find exactly the right Hallmark e-card? Try one of these on for size:

I think it's fair to say that they have something for every occasion. (Via the irrepressible Nag)

I'm Just Not Ready to Think About It

As you know, I've been feeling really old lately, and matters weren't helped any when we got a call yesterday from an uncle wondering if we'd like their two extra cemetery plots, since they've decided to be buried in Florida and thus won't be needing their Boston plots anymore. Do people in their 80s just assume that everyone else is thinking about this stuff too? Sheesh.

I'm Just Saying...

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. I'd Rather Be Lonely (live) - Loudon Wainwright III
2. Love Kills - The Clash Joe Strummer
3. Cruel to Be Kind - Nick Lowe
4. Radio, Radio - Elvis Costello
5. Wasted - Martin Sexton
6. Growin' Up (live) - Bruce Springsteen
7. Righteously - Lucinda Williams
8. Old Shoes (& Picture Postcards) - Tom Waits
9. Eye of the Hurricane - David Wilcox
10. Church - Lyle Lovett

Friday's Feast

Appetizer: List 3 emotions you experienced this week.

I pretty much run the gamut every week—every day, even—so for right this moment I'll pick anxiety that I'm not going to get everything done that has to get done, disappointment that it's pouring rain so Pete won't get to go to the Sox game with Andy's parents tonight, and nervous excitement because Steph's going away for the weekend on a Girl Scout trip to a "dude ranch" in upstate New York!

Soup: Name a car you’d love to have.

Mini Cooper

Salad: Describe your typical morning routine.

7:00 - Out of bed, upstairs to help Julie get ready (Andy's long gone; Steph and Pete are usually already up).

7:15 - Shower, get dressed.

7:30 - Make breakfast and pack lunchboxes; quick check of email, blogs, SET game, and other crucial 'puter activities.

8:15 - Out the door to walk Steph and Pete to school. (In case you're wondering how I'm posting this now: It's pouring out, so we drove the kids down the street and drove back.)

8:45 - Back home, into the car to drive Julie to preschool.

9:15 - MY day begins.

Main Course: Have you ever emailed someone famous?  If so, who, and what did you say to them?  Did they reply?

No. Oh, wait, Andy just reminded me that earlier this year I emailed my Wes classmate Sebastian Junger about doing a library fundraiser here in town. Yes, he replied, and we emailed back and forth a bit. I think it ended up not working with his publicity schedule for his latest book.

Dessert: Do you listen to podcasts?  If so, which ones?

I subscribe to the feeds for various NPR podcasts (Most Emailed Stories, Fresh Air, This American Life, Sunday Puzzle, etc.) and download the ones I want; I listen to them at the gym. I also subscribe to a few podcasts for brushing up on my Italian, but I rarely get around to listening.

                 

45 Is the New Something or Other

I guess I'm in good company: Check out Di's list of pretty much everyone who's 45. Who knew I had something in common with the likes of Demi Moore, Roger Clemens, Patrick Ewing, Sheryl Crow, Felicity Huffman, Ralph Fiennes, Joan Cusack, and even Jon Stewart, to name just a few!

This Is Your Brain on Blogs...

I think there must be something in the air, because I'm not the only one at loose ends these days. Rude Cactus and Doppelganger* are both having hellish, brain-frying weeks, for instance, and the rest of the blogosphere seems to be a little off its feed too. (Its feed? Get it? Haha.)

I did forget to mention that I'm working a lot right now—the second of the two huge Italian projects from way back when finally showed up, just when I'd already agreed to do a biggish math project, so that explains at least part of the reason for my scatter-brained-ness. But not all of it.

But I keep blogging! The world would end if I missed a day! I must fight the good fight! I will prevail! As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again! I coulda been a contender! Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

*Speaking of which, you've got to check out her "Big List of Lists." I don't even know where to begin with it....

Movies

Someone over at Cooks Talk recommended the movie "Bandits" after I mentioned how much I enjoyed Cate Blanchett in both "Babel" and "Notes on a Scandal." This is a completely different movie than either of those—it's a lighthearted, laugh-out-loud-funny, indie-ish take on the classic "Bonnie and Clyde" formula. In this case, Bruce Willis (who I continue to want to loathe and yet continue to like every time I see him in a movie) and Billy Bob Thornton play a pair of smart, kind, nonviolent bank robbers who both fall in love with Cate Blanchett, who tags along for the ride. The two play off of one another really well, and it just plain worked for me. I know it got lousy reviews, but what can I say. For me, the only real problem was stand-up comic Bobby Slayton, who played the host of a true-crime TV show—it's impossible to understand a word he says, so he wasn't the most convincing choice for the role.

"Déjà Vu" was a real surprise. I was expecting a typical Denzel Washington movie—good guy in a bad situation—and it was, except that then the plot suddenly went sci-fi! I won't give anything away, but it brings up the same sorts of questions as "The Terminator": If you go back in time, can you change history? What if you change the history that made you exist in the first place, then how could you have gone back? And so on. You obviously have to indulge in a major suspension of disbelief in order to follow the plot—in other words, don't try to figure out if it could actually work—and then just sit back and enjoy it. I won't tell you what movie the ending reminded me of, because that would be a major spoiler. Good stuff!

I love all nature documentaries, so it pains me to say that "Deep Sea: IMAX" was a disappointment. Maybe it was just meant to be seen on a giant screen, or in 3D or something. I mean, it was nice and somewhat interesting, but it was also boring. Even Johnny Depp and Kate Winslet doing the narration didn't add enough punch!

But speaking of IMAX, yesterday I chaperoned Pete's class field trip to see the 3D IMAX movie "Bugs!" There was quite a bit of squirming, wincing, eye-covering, grabbing of imaginary flying insects, and shrieks of "Ewww! Gross!"—and that was just me! (<rimshot> I'll be here all week! Try the veal!) This movie was totally wicked awesome, and the second-graders agreed with me on that assessment, too.

Blind Taste Test

At some point not long ago, I signed up to do a taste test of the NEW Diet 7-Up. Yesterday a box arrived containing my "test kit":

And inside...:

Following the instructions to the letter, I poured some of each beverage into plain cups labeled A, B, and C, and presented to them to the family (well, except Julie, who doesn't do carbonation).

Despite 7-Up's assurances that we'd all pick the NEW Diet 7-Up hands down, we in fact couldn't much tell the difference between the Sierra Mist Free and the NEW Diet 7-Up. We all found the Sprite Zero too sweet, though. So be sure to run out and buy some NEW Diet 7-Up. Or some Sierra Mist Free. Either one.

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

Here's mine, which I think is a riot:

Spencer William Gore (b. March 10, 1850 in Wimbledon Common, Surrey – April 19, 1906 in Ramsgate, Kent) was a tennis and cricket player for England. He was Wimbledon's original champion winning at men's tennis championship in 1877, beating William Marshall 6-1, 6-2, 6-4. He lost in the Wimbledon Men's final in 1878 to Frank Hadow 7-5, 6-1, 9-7. Spencer then quit playing tennis, stating the game was too boring

How interesting that it became "boring" right after he lost! Poor sport!

Before and After

Remember last fall when I swore I get my car washed and detailed as soon as the kids started school? Well, today I finally did it. It was a disgusting, disgraceful pigsty and hadn't been cleaned out in years. Every major dry cereal brand was represented on the carpet, every day at the beach memorialized in sand, every species of pollen dusted across the dashboard. So I took a series of "before" photos and only just now discovered that none of them came out clear! Phooey. (Note to self: Call Dr. Chang tomorrow—I obviously still can't see.) So there's no use in showing the "after" photos (which, strangely enough, all came out clear as a bell), but suffice to say I am very pleased with my old car's new look.

Oh, what the heck, here are a couple of the photos:

Carpet before:

Carpet after:

Dashboard before:

Dashboard after:

I know you can't really see much of anything, but I'm happy.

Love Me Some Duo Jump

It's still early, but there's no way I'm going to see a more fun blog post today than this one. Thanks, Cap'n.

Who Are You Again?

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I feel as though I just can't keep track of details these days. Usually I am extremely—nay, neurotically—on top of paperwork, appointments, phone calls, household stuff, etc., but lately it seems as though every time I turn around, I see I've dropped another ball.

I know it's not early Alzheimer's disease; I once read that it's normal to forget where your keys are, and it's Alzheimer's to forget what your keys are for. No, in this case, I think it's got to be CRAFT disease. Never heard of it? It's when you Can't Remember A Fucking Thing.

Here's a f'rinstance: Last Saturday (yes, 9 days ago) I picked up the invitations for Pete's birthday party next Tuesday. And then did what with them? Nothing. Nothing at all. So today I frantically wrote them up and mailed them. I was going to just put regular stamps on them and drop them in the mailbox, but I couldn't decide if they were oversize or not, so I went to the post office. Which is a good thing, because I didn't even know stamps had gone up 2¢! I mean, I guess I had heard it was going to happen, but I didn't know when. (As a side note: For about 20 years, I have been wishing they would just raise the postage rate to 50¢ and then not bother me again about it for the rest of my life. It's not as big a deal now as it used to be, because I so rarely mail anything—I pay all my bills via direct debit, credit card, or online bill-paying—but still, those pennies just make me nuts.)

Or how 'bout this one: Three times in the last two weeks, I have gone to bed without taking out my contacts. I first got contacts in 1975, and I don't think I slept all night with my contacts three times in all those years, up until now.

I'm overrun with lists of errands I need to do, phone calls I need to make, paperwork I need to fill out, and I just can't seem to get it all done. Is it run-of-the-mill stress? Am I doing too much? Did the Maytag experience put me over the edge? I don't know. I can't even remember what we're talking about....

Sunday Brain Bender

Here's a nifty logic problem for you. It took me a while, but I did finally solve it! There's no "trick" involved—it can be done using just the rules given. I love this stuff.

Happy Mother's Day!

I got an early Mother's Day surprise yesterday, with breakfast in bed! Andy knew that Steph and Pete would have to leave early for Sunday school this morning, and that I'd rather sleep in, so he suggested they do it yesterday. Tea, toast, and my Mac were brought to me, and then I was left alone. Heaven.

Then, last night, we finally went out for my belated birthday dinner. We are always torn between trying a new restaurant and going back to a place we already love; this time we chose the latter and returned to Mistral. As always, every mouthful was magic, and it was indeed a celebration worthy of my Big Birthday.

Today, for the first time in 14 years, I will not be hosting a brunch for my extended family. Susie and Hugh want to show off their new house and I was perfectly happy to pass the baton for this holiday. All I have to do is make a pasta salad, which will come together in no time, so I'm having an unprecedented relaxing Mother's Day morning! Then I'll get to spend a few hours with my mom and my grandma (who, at least according to her birth certificate, turned 101 yesterday—although she swears she's only 98) and my mother-in-law, plus all the rest of my non-mother relatives.

Carrot Orzo

I made this side dish with roasted chicken the other night, and it was creamy and delicious. It's sort of a risotto-style pasta.

2 Tbsp unsalted butter
1 cup orzo
6 oz. grated carrots (This is the exact size of the tub of freshly grated carrots they sell at Whole Foods, so it couldn't have been easier. Of course you can just grate a few carrots yourself in the food processor.)
1½ cups water
1¼ cups chicken broth
1 large garlic clove, minced
¼ cup grated Parmesan cheese
2 Tbsp chopped green onions
1 tsp minced fresh rosemary

Melt butter in heavy medium saucepan over medium heat. Add orzo and carrots; sauté until orzo is golden, about 5 minutes. Add water, broth, and garlic; cook uncovered over medium heat until all liquid is absorbed, stirring frequently, about 10 minutes. Stir in cheese, green onions, and rosemary. Season to taste with salt and pepper and serve.

Hold on to Your Hats

The Washer Is Fixed!

It took him 4 hours, and he left the washer itself grimy beyond belief, but it's done. I am currently doing a load of laundry. On a Friday. In my own house.

I'm not sure how I can go on now. This has been such a part of my life for so long. What will I do on Saturdays now? What about all my friends at the laundromat? More importantly, what will I blog about? This is worse than when I finally found a decent toaster, or received my long-lost New Yorker. I feel oddly at sea....

Potpourri

1. The Maytag repairman is still here, coming up on 3 hours. If I could update you with his status via a scroll at the bottom of the screen, I would.

2. Yesterday Pete announced that one of his grownup teeth was loose. I checked, and sure enough, it was. I called the dentist in a panic and got them to squeeze us in. Then Pete realized it was in fact a loose baby tooth. Oops.

3. If I ever end up having the laundromat lady do my sheets again, I'll supply my own Tide Free. Last night was the first night I slept on the sheets she did, and the scented laundry detergent or fabric softener or whatever it is she used was so overpowering I thought I might puke.

4. Speaking of which, this was today's installment of the ever-popular "Would you rather...?" game:

Julie: Would you radder [sic.] dunk yourself in a toilet or in throw-up?
Me: What's in the toilet?
Julie: Nothing. Just toilet water.
Me: Then I'd rather dunk myself in a toilet.
Julie: You'd dunk yourself in a toilet?! Ewwww!

More Stunning Developments

Remember last year when I waited 7 months for a missing New Yorker, not allowing myself to read any of the subsequent issues until it arrived? (No? You repressed that too?) Anyhow, guess what arrived today? One of the replacement copies sent well over a year ago! Go figure. This is indeed a special day.

Pigs Are Flying As We Speak

The Maytag repairman is here. At my house. Taking apart my washer. There's still plenty of time for things to go wrong, but this is the closest I've gotten in weeks. Maybe I should go buy a lottery ticket—clearly this is a magical day.

Friday iPod Random Ten with Selected Lyrics

1. Smoke Smoke Smoke - Doc & Merle Watson

Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! that cigarette.
Puff! Puff! Puff! And if you smoke yourself to death,
Tell Saint Peter at the golden gate
That you hates to make him wait,
But you just gotta have another cigarette.

2. Red Staggerwing (live) - Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris

If I was a Fender guitar
A Fender painted red
You could play me, darlin'
Until your fingers bled
If I was one of them Gibsons
Like a '58 or '9
You could plug me in
And play me anytime

3. Beeswing (live) - Richard Thompson

She was a rare thing
Fine as a bee's wing
So fine a breath of wind might blow her away
She was a lost child
She was running wild
She said "As long as there's no price on love, I'll stay.
And you wouldn't want me any other way"

4. Them Belly Full - Bob Marley & The Wailers

Them belly full, but we hungry
A hungry mob is a angry mob
A rain a-fall, but the dirt it tough
A pot a-cook, but the food no 'nough

5. Think - Aretha Franklin

People walkin' around everyday
Playin' games and takin' scores
Tryin' to make other people lose their mind
Well, be careful you don't lose yours.

6. Crazy (live) - Patty Griffin

I'm crazy
Crazy for feeling so lonely
I'm crazy
Crazy for feeling so blue

7. The Weight (live) - Levon Helm, John Hiatt, Radney Foster, & Mark Collie

Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog.
He said, "I will fix your rack, if you take Jack, my dog."
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I'm a peaceful man."
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can."

8. Rock 'n' Roll Doctor - Chris Smither

If you like country with a boogie beat, he's the man to meet
If you like the sound of shufflin' feet, he can't be beat
If you wanna feel real nice, just ask the rock 'n' roll doctor's advice

9. Arrow (live) - Cheryl Wheeler

I wish I could feel my heartbeat rise
And gaze into some gentle, warm excited eyes
And give myself as truly as an arrow flies
In windless skies

10. Candy - Martin Sexton

Talking 'bout a woman
She loves me like a dog loves a bone
Talking 'bout a woman
I just can't let go
I need her as my lover like I need another hole in my head
I'm talking 'bout a woman I know
Candy

46:07*

*Time, in minutes:seconds, that I was on the phone with A&E Factory Service just now because the Maytag guy never showed up again today, after I waited at home like a total fucking loser from 1:00 to 5:00 as instructed.

Survey Says...!

Here are the answers to Tuesday's true/false quiz:

1. I've never had general anesthesia.
True. I was mildly sedated when I had my wisdom teeth extracted, but that's the closest I've gotten.

2. Even though I don't like coffee, I do like coffee ice cream.
False. I don't like coffee-flavored anything.

3. Don't tell the kids, but we're talking about getting a puppy this summer!
False. Over my dead, cold, decaying body. I have enough to do.

4. I shave my legs every day, rain or shine.
False. Um, not so much, I'm sorry to say. I do try to shave every season, though, and I did happen to shave today!

5. I've never gotten poison ivy.
True.

6. After college, I worked very briefly as a teacher in a private school.
False. I went straight into publishing after college. And from volunteering in my kids' classrooms at school, I can tell that I don't have the patience to teach—the disruptive kids drive me batty.

7. I throw like a girl.
True, although Andy says that I don't throw nearly as girlyish as lots of other girls (and even a few boys!) he knows. I panic whenever I have to toss a stray ball back to the pitcher during Little League games!

8. I have a second, completely anonymous blog in which I reveal all my deepest, darkest thoughts, fears, wishes, and secrets.
False, although I've considered it...! It's kind of a tantalizing idea, no? There are plenty of things I'd never, ever talk about here.

9. I traveled throughout Israel the summer I was 16.
True.

10. I'd rather go hungry than eat a raw oyster.
True. No phlegm-balls for me, thank you very much.