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June 18, 2007



The Thigh Master

Adam was a toad counter. But Karen, his wife, was a toll both operator. This made Adam feel guilty. One night after squatting, he decided to jab and pierce his tongue. After putting out his crack pipe and finishing his appletini, Adam felt regret.

He said to his wife, "What's better? "

Karen said, "Humph."

This made Adam feel shame and he left her and went to the dank, cold basement. While he was there, he saw a woman. She looked like speed on wheels. He decided to craft with her.

"Howdy," he said.

"Stuff eggs," she said.

"Are you stupid?" he said.

"Go to jail," she said.

I'm already there, he thought. But he said, "Audios mi amiga."

After that, he left. He walked to the tar pits. On the way, he stopped to buy Everclear. But instead he saw something he hadn't expected. It was a Thigh Master. He surprised himself by stealing the Thigh Master. The shop ownder didn't notice. He was too busy sitting to notice.

He took the Thigh Master home and showed it to Karen, who was just putting out her cigar and finishing her Macedonian Ale.

"What the shit is that?" she said.

"It's my Jimaroogabang."

What the chichi is a Jimaroogabang?" she said.

"This," he said. And with that he used the Thigh Master to think.


That's beyond outstanding.

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