One of the things about daily life here in the 'burbs that makes me go absolutely, positively ballistic is when people double-park for no really good reason. And, let's face it, there aren't all that many really good reasons for double-parking, beyond taking 10 seconds to run out and drop a letter in the mailbox or something like that. No, I'm talking about people who turn off the engine and go into a building to conduct business, leaving their car blocking one or more cars and restricting traffic flow. And these are never the kind of people who run. These are women in high heels who stroll into the dry cleaner, self-important businessmen who lock their Jaguars before going into the bank, and so on. They clearly feel entitled to inconvenience the rest of the population because they are so special and, well, just more important the rest of us schlubs.
So, yesterday, I left the pool and went to get the kids frappes*. Because I'm that nice. There were no spots in front of the ice cream place, so I parked in the adjoining lot and walked the 100 feet into the store. A few minutes later, as I was paying, a women came in and said, in a very pleasant voice, "Is there someone in here who double-parked right outside? I can't get my car out and I have to leave." There were maybe 5 of us in there; we all just shrugged and shook our heads, looking around at the others. She said, "I know it's someone in here!" (Someone outside must have seen the culprit.) She finally turns to a young woman (yes, in high heels) at the end of the line and says, "Did you double-park outside?" "Yes," she replies. Half-beat pause. "I need you to move your car so I can get mine out." "Just a minute." Yes, she really said, "Just a minute"!!! She was going to get her ice cream, dammit! I couldn't stand it any longer, so I turned to her with a big, faux-helpful smile (in retrospect, it was perhaps almost maniacal-looking) and said, "Oh, there are plenty of spots in the lot!" and Woman #1 added, "You'd just have to walk a little more." Woman #2 ignored us. Woman #1 ran out again, then came back in a minute or two later and said, a little less pleasantly but still much more polite and even-tempered than I would have been able to manage, "You know, I could just call the police and have you towed! You are double-parked and blocking my car!" Woman #2 did not even blink. I said, again with the big crazy smile, "You should move your car!" She didn't even acknowledge me, just took her ice cream and her change and strode calmly out of the store.
It was one of the most stunning examples of "the world revolves around me" attitude I've seen in ages. I was sputtering mad by the time she left.
*Boston's answer to a milkshake
That kind of crap gets my adrenaline going, but I usually implode rather than explode, and wind up with a headache or something from maintaining polite silence. At least you spoke up.
Now, columnist Miss Manners never condones meeting rudeness with rudeness, but I think this spectacle would push even her over the brink. I would love to see her response.
In retrospect, what would you have done differently? You and the parking victim could have blockaded her and kept her away from the counter. That would be half reasonable. Or customers lean on the door and keep her from getting out of the store (not so reasonable). I'm guessing you've come up with a score or so of scenarios...
So what was her name? Paris Maytag? :)
Posted by: mommyralf | June 18, 2007 at 02:33 PM
Well, of course I always think of "should have saids" after the fact, but in this case all I could think of was, "You're NOT special" -- but that wouldn't have done a damn thing. She just didn't give a shit. She was particularly immune to my brand of "killing with kindness." Argh.
Posted by: Karen | June 18, 2007 at 03:54 PM
You are sure you weren't in Boca?
Posted by: Di | June 18, 2007 at 04:04 PM
Did this discussion go on while she (the high heels) was still waiting in line? Wouldn't it have been great if the counter person had refused to serve her until she moved her car!
Posted by: Lisa | June 18, 2007 at 05:38 PM
If she had left her car window open, I'd have happily sacrificed a $5 frappe and poured it all over her front seat.
Posted by: michael | June 18, 2007 at 07:19 PM
We don't get much double-parking in our suburbs - more a South Philly thing I think. No, what I get all the time is the guy driving in front of you who stops his car in the middle of the street and hangs out the window to talk to some friend on the sidewalk (or, even better, to some other driver who's in a car coming from the other direction!). Grrr...
Posted by: Mark | June 18, 2007 at 10:49 PM
I'da messed her up bad! Screw the car - I would have used the frappe over her instead!
Grrr. I'm moving back to Canada.
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Posted by: Breanne Boyle | June 19, 2007 at 03:30 AM
I HAD to revisit. I like Michael's suggestion. And if windows were closed, dumping down the driver's side window would be lovely, with door handle properly coated.
Posted by: mommyralf | June 19, 2007 at 08:15 AM
Andy suggested dumping it down the windshield, into the crevice where the wipers come out, and the vents are.
Posted by: Karen | June 19, 2007 at 09:32 AM
Some people are so self-absorbed. How hard is it to wait a few minutes out in the street while someone gets her ice cream? Is where everybody is going SO important - more important than MY food? Seriously. And what's that got to do with my shoes?
Posted by: Paris Redroofinn | June 19, 2007 at 12:56 PM
Well, maybe things are different in West Chester, Ohio, but here in Boston the lines for ice cream are long, and it can easily take more than a few minutes. Someone who has an appointment to get to, or whose parking meter time has expired, or who has a car full of perishable groceries on a hot day has every reason to be in a hurry.
Oh, you were joking. Now I get it.
Posted by: Karen | June 19, 2007 at 01:08 PM