More Mommyitis

Poor Julie is really having a tough time separating from me lately! After Monday's incident, we talked about it, and she said she knows that her tummy ache was just because she was sad and not because she was going to throw up. Tuesday (a short day) she was fine, but then she got sad in the evening because, she said, she was already thinking about Wednesday (a long day). I asked her loads of questions about the long days—wondering whether there was something about lunchtime or rest time or whatever that was a problem, or if someone had said or done something that bothered her—but she said no. Yesterday she made it all day, but the teacher said she was weepy all morning, crying at each transition. The teacher asked her if she wanted a hug, if she wanted to draw a picture to give me later, if she wanted to keep a family photo in her cubby, etc., but nothing sounded right to her. She somehow managed to get herself out of the funk each time, though, and interestingly enough, she was fine in the afternoon, which is when she'd had trouble on Monday. Last night and this morning she was a little teary again because she was just thinking about her next long day! So today was another short day and went well other than the specter of next Monday looming over her.

You may recall that she went through a few bad weeks in preschool where she'd have a hard time at drop-off, but I thought we were done with that. It breaks my heart, it really does.

Comments

[sheila]

Dear Karen,
I can feel your heart break. Mine does the same with my 5 year old, Elena. She has finally transitioned from special ed to regular ed for kindergarten, but some days she just doesn't want to go and just wants "to be with you, Mom". One thing that seems to have helped is if we talk about having "Mommy and me" time when she returns. We spend 30-45 minutes alone with an activity of her choice. Sometimes it is playing, sometimes it is artwork, sometimes it is just snuggling... But it does seem to help her make it through the day. Hang in there.

[Karen]

Hi Karen,
You are not alone with this one. Some little ones appear to physically suffer as they experience both the excitement and terror of independence. I really breaks our hearts, as well as theirs.
A suggestion that I have seen work for many families: together you create a "special book" with fabulous illustrations depicting a time when your child leaves Mom, goes to school, gets teary and opens a book that will detail this event and is always resolved with returning to mommies arms later in the day. Your child can take this book with her as long as necessary. I have seen it take as little as one week. Books are just magic at this age.(At any age, obviously.)
I hope this helps. I have over 10 years background as a preschool/kindergarten teacher and a working mother of three. This works fairly well for grieving children also. My youngest used this "special book" method to deal with kindergarten after Daddy died a couple years ago. He is only six now, but has all his special books on his special shelf.(Next to some of his daddies ashes. :)

Good luck to you and Julie. :)