verbatim

FAIL

I've recently added The FAIL blog to my ever-growing list of Bloglines feeds (160 and counting). The concept is simple: Find a photo of something that doesn't quite work out as planned, and label it "FAIL." Like this:

or this:

Very funny stuff.

Free-Range Kids

You've probably all heard the hullabaloo caused by New York Sun columnist Lenore Skenazy, who wrote an op-ed last week called "Here's Your MetroCard, Kid," in which she describes allowing her 9-year-old to ride the NYC subway alone. Talk about touching a nerve! There are people who are practically calling for DSS to take her kid away.

I can see both sides of the issue. On the one hand, I believe whole-heartedly that people fear the wrong things when it comes to their kids (and to everything, really—consider the fact that many more people die in car crashes than airplane crashes, but more people fear flying than riding in a car). Again and again, statistics show overwhelmingly that crimes against children are perpetrated by people known to the kid's family: relatives, "friends," neighbors, teachers, priests, babysitters, coaches, etc. Those rare, terrifying stories of kids being abducted by total strangers make for splashy headlines, but they don't really teach parents about how to keep their kids safe.

I don't live in New York, so I don't know how safe that particular route of the subway system is. But, more importantly, I don't know Skenazy's kid, so I can't judge whether he was ready to go it alone (but it sure sounds as though he was). At what age is your kid ready? If not 9, then 10? 11? 17? You decide, not everyone else. (I do wonder about the fact that she didn't give him a cell phone because he might lose it, but she didn't fear he'd lose his MetroCard or money, but, hey....)

There are things I let my kids do that other parents don't yet, and vice-versa. I let Steph walk with a friend the half-mile to Starbucks. I don't let her walk outside after dark. I will leave all three kids or any two of them or just Steph or just Pete home alone if I have to run a quick errand. I haven't yet let Steph go to the movies or the mall alone with a friend, but that'll probably start next year in middle school. (In truth, she hasn't asked to do it yet, which is key.)

Skenazy has started a blog called Free-Range Kids, aiming to encourage parents to lighten up a bit. Her point: Yes, life is a little more complicated and dangerous than it was when we were growing up, but that doesn't mean that kids have to be led around on a leash until their eighteenth birthdays.

Let's Get This Conversation Started

Look at these cute "conversation-starter" napkins. I don't know how many different versions you get in one pack, but the description does list other questions than those shown in the sample, so maybe they're all different. (But, for that matter, they don't even tell you how many napkins you get for $6, so who knows.)

So, I ask you, "if you could do something dangerous just once with no risk, what would you do?" Sky-diving? Eating blowfish? Running the bulls in Pamplona? Me, believe it or not, I think I'd try some very bad drug, like heroin or crack. I'm curious to know what is so great about them that people will give up their entire lives for those few minutes of being high. Absent any risk of arrest, death, or addiction, I'd like to experience that. Then I'd go back to my nice quiet suburban vices of vodka, red wine, dark chocolate, and Cool Ranch Doritos.

Daily Puzzles

Every morning, no matter how busy I am, I do the SET puzzle, the Daily Secret Word puzzle, and the Daily Secret Number puzzle. The whole thing takes less than 5 minutes and is a good way to get my brain rumbling into gear for the day.

For others out there who are addicted to SET, Debra has a weekly contest to see who can solve it the fastest (you can see here that I do quite well!). If you don't yet know about SET, it's in fact a real-life card game that now has an online version. The card game is great fun, but I can never find anyone to play it with me, so I content myself with the daily online challenge. I love the kind of thinking that's required to solve it.

The Daily Secret Word puzzle is just what it sounds like: The computer thinks of a word with no repeating letters, and you attempt to guess it in as few tries as possible. You get familiar with which letters are likely to appear in which positions ("-ing" at the end, for instance), but there's often something that will throw it all out of whack.

Even thought I'm a wordie, I like the Daily Secret Number puzzle even better. The computer thinks of a three-digit number with no repeating numerals. You are given a few clues, and you have to figure out the number. Some of the clues provide information you don't really need, and some of them provide overlapping information. (For instance, one clue might be "The sum of the first and second digits is less than 6" and another might be "The product of the first and second digits is less than 28.") I like to jot down the numbers 0 through 9 three times, in three columns, and then cross off the numbers as I eliminate them. The first thing I do is cross out the 0 in the first column, so you'd think I just wouldn't even write it in the first place, but I like the symmetry. In fact, now I'll 'fess up that I've actually created a nerdy worksheet, which I print out on two sides of a sheet of paper, so I can do the puzzle 40 times without having to search for scratch paper. If you want to wave your nerd flag high and proud, you can download the worksheet here.

I have just typed and looked at the word puzzle so many times it looks absolutely ridiculous. 

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Beast of Burden - The Rolling Stones
2. Church (live) - Lyle Lovett
3. I Shall Be Released - Jack Johnson
4. How My Heart Behaves - Feist
5. Love Letter - Bonnie Raitt
6. A Summer Wind, A Cotton Dress - Richard Shindell
7. Shame - The Avett Brothers
8. South of Everything - Kate Campbell   
9. Blue Highway - Eilen Jewell
10. Another Town (live) - Steve Earle

50 + 50 = 100

Don't count on getting any work done once this page loads; it's the 50 greatest comedy sketches of all time—mostly from SNL, Monty Python, Kids in the Hall, and SCTV.

And here's a one-stop source for learning how to order a beer in 50 languages. What, no Hebrew? No Russian?

Facebook: Yea or Nay?

Here's a snippet of a chat I had with Scott yesterday:

OK, so what do you think? Do you use Facebook? If so, why? I don't mind being the only person on the planet who's not on Facebook—I'm already the only person on the planet who doesn't watch TV, so it won't be the first time I'm choosing to be out of the loop—unless someone can give me a decent reason to join up.

Ill Edite Thiss Meself

Oh. My. God. A Los Angeles newspaper has allegedly laid off its entire copyediting staff! They figure they can just wing it themselves. Shyeah!

Where Do They Stand on the Issues?

I guess my choice of Obama last November was the right one for me. How did you score? I wish I could see the "answers"—and further information—for each question; I'm a wee bit underinformed on some of the issues.

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

This is timely, given my recent mall-rant:

The Mall is a shopping centre in Bromley, South East London, United Kingdom. It is small in size and is often overshadowed by the main shopping centre in Bromley The Glades.

Re-Development

The Mall is currently being re-furbished and re-developed by Henry Boot Developments with completion due late 2007 . Phase 1 of the re-development has finished and phase 2 has begun.

Shops

• UNIQLO
• Argos
• Art
• Wesley Owen - Christian bookshop
• Mall News
• The Pier
• KFC
• Boots
• Poundland
• Shoe Zone
• Sports World

Transport

There are two train stations in Bromley, that serve the mall.

• Bromley South railway station
• Bromley North railway station
• There is also a bus interchange outside the centre.

What? No Gap? No food court? And you call that a mall?

A Message from Clippy

(Get your own Clippy message here. Via the Presurfer.)

Survey Says!

A recent Harris poll asked American adults, “What is your favorite book of all time?” Here's what the responses were:

1. The Bible [I have read some of it, but mostly for school.]
2. Gone with the Wind, by Margaret Mitchell [Read it a million years ago, loved it.]
3. Lord of the Rings (series), by J.R.R. Tolkien [Read only up to about halfway through The Two Towers, then got bored and frustrated, but adored The Hobbit.]
4. Harry Potter (series), by J.K. Rowling [Haven't read any of them, still might give at least the first one a try....]
5. The Stand, by Stephen King [Read it, loved it.]
6. The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown [Never read it, most likely never will.]
7. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee [Read it, loved.]
8. Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown [Never read it, most likely never will.]
9. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand [Never read it, most likely never will. I'm kind of surprised that Atlas Shrugged trumped The Fountainhead, which I did read. It was a million years ago, but I can recall liking it well enough.]
10. Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger [Read it, loved it.]

Shocked, Shocked! I Say

In case you wondered, [Sarah Jessica] Parker is definitely not flattered that a sex-toy company has made an inflatable doll that resembles her. Graciously sparing us her thoughts, she said any discussion of the blowup girl is "beneath you and I both."

Can you believe it? What a disgrace. I really would have thought that Parker would know enough grammar to use the objective pronoun "me" after the preposition "beneath." This is truly appalling news.

Another Unexpected Bill

It would appear that $1340 wasn't enough to spend on my car this month. A few days after I got it back, the "check engine" light came on. That same day I pulled into a parking spot a little overzealously and snagged the big plastic thingy under the front fender on that concrete block thingy. (They're two different thingies, you understand.) So back to Honda I went. Turns out that the "check engine" light came on because my gas cap was broken. Huh? Something to do with pressure, whatever. But that's OK, a new gas cap is just $15. Oh, plus $105 for them to "run some diagnostics" to determine that all I needed was a new gas cap. I begged them to fix the plastic thingy as cheaply as possibly (can you say duct tape?), but they replaced the whole thing for another $62, plus five bumper clips at $4.30 each, plus twelve fender clips at $2.50 each, and another $105 for the labor. All told? $346. Sheesh.

Also worth noting: The reason I knew the fender thingy needed to be replaced was the horrible sound it made dragging along as I drove. I pulled into Whole Foods and crouched down near the right front fender to peer into the wheel well, trying to get a good look. At that moment the 2000-year-old man pulled into the spot to the left and bumped my left rear fender, almost killing me. My car just jumped a bit, but my face was right there. He had no idea anything happened. Again, sheesh.

A Misspelling on a Misspelling Site

The good news: I discovered a site called Spelling PSA. You plug in a frequently misspelled word, and it generates a public service announcement about its proper spelling, like this:

Cute, huh?

The bad news: They have a frickin' spelling error on their opening page:

Do you see it? I'm not sure if this will show up clearly enough, but at the bottom they have existance instead of existence. I've sent them an email about it, so hopefully it'll be fixed by the time you get there. Sheesh.

And the Winner Is...

For my BAFAB book giveaway contest, I went all high-tech on you this time and used a Random Integer Generator. I set it to choose one integer between 1 and 26 (the number of entries I received, wow!):

The 8th entrant in the contest was Becky. Congrats to Becky, and thanks to everyone for participating in BAFAB!

Spa Week

I never knew such a thing existed, but apparently next week (April 14–20) is Spa Week, and participating day spas all around the country will be offering full-service treatments for a flat fee of $50! This is a great opportunity to try out that fancy-shmancy spa downtown that you've always dreamed of. I want one of those things where they scrub you all over with something mildly abrasive, like the "50-Minute Human Car Wash: Citrus Body Scrub with Body Milk Moisturizer and Spa Foot Soak." Take me away, indeed!

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Trapped Like Mall Rats

There aren't a lot of things I hate more than going to the mall. I hate the traffic getting there, I hate the endless circling in the parking lot to get a spot, I hate the crowds and noise and lights inside—in short, I hate the entire experience and invariably go home with a headache. So, not surprisingly, I pretty much never go to the mall. (Oh, and for the record, Andy concurs on all points—and he's also not much of a shopper. I am at least an excellent shopper.)

You may recall that last April, Pete's birthday party was at the Lego store at the mall. One of his friends gave him a $20 Lego store gift card. Since he had gotten pretty much all of the (small and medium) Legos he wanted as gifts, he agreed that it made sense to hold on to it for a while. A long while, as it turned out. He has sort of lost interest in Legos for the time being, but he does still like Bionicles. Every now and then he'd say that he knew what he wanted, and could we go to the mall? No, we can't. Then, later, he'd end up deciding that he wanted something different anyhow, so I'd say, "Good thing we didn't go to the mall and get the other one, huh?" He'll never outsmart me, bwahahahaha!

Last summer, Auntie Jo took Steph on an extravagantly generous shopping spree at the mall. I can't even describe how much stuff she came home with. Cool stuff, too. But of course now Steph would like to go to the mall every single day.

Julie? Wants to do whatever Steph wants to do.

So, every weekend, the kids beg us to take them to the mall. We always say, "On a weekend? Are you crazy? It'll be mobbed. Go clean your rooms or something." This past Saturday, for reasons that remain unclear, we finally caved in. Oy. Traffic all the way there? Check. Nine million cars in the parking lot? Check. Too crowded, too noisy, and too bright inside? Check, check, check.

Andy took Pete to the Lego store first. He'd already done his pre-shopping research online, but he couldn't decide between two $10 Bionicles who could battle each other and a single $20 Bionicle who was way cool but would have no one to battle. He realized he needed to see the actual items before making up his mind. Steph wanted to go to Aéropostale (and I had to embarrass her by asking the clerk how you actually pronounce the name of the store—the accent is indeed on the "po" as Steph claimed, not on the "ro" as I thought), where she bought a hoodie that was marked down 50%. (I told her she had to use her own money for anything she wanted to buy, but I softened and chipped in $5.)

We passed Limited Too on the way to the Lego store, and Steph wanted to go in There Too. I bought her some flip-flops, because she'll need them soon enough; Julie tried some on too but didn't like them. We finally got to the Lego store, where I convinced Pete to get the big Bionicle, pointing out that he could have it battle some of his old Bionicles. So he did.

On the way back out, Steph wanted to go into Delia's. There I spotted this offensive T-shirt typo:

Where are the TEAL guys when you need them, and what would they have done with a whole stack of T-shirts? Put this shirt in the trash, please. I insisted we leave.

Last—and surely least—we went into Claire's. I reminded Steph that every single pair of earrings she has gotten from Claire's has either broken or the paint has chipped off. She still insisted on getting some. They were doing Buy 2, Get 1 Free, so she got 2 packs of 6 earrings each and 1 pack of 3 earrings, all for $15. Yeah, they must be great quality, eh? (Fast-forward to this morning, where one earring broke as she was putting it in for the first time. Told ya! Told ya!) Julie was dying to get something too, so she got a set of 3 Hannah Montana hair-glitter applicators. Sigh.

Then we went home. I hope I don't have to go back for another year.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

29-1

Yesterday Steph lost her 16th tooth. Pete has lost 8, and Julie has lost 6. The Tooth Fairy has come to this house in the dark of night to whisk away a tooth and leave a handwritten card and dollar bill 29 times. Last night, on what would have been her 30th visit, she fell down on the job.

As I mentioned way back when, Steph learned The Truth years ago but still somehow believes. So she was crushed this morning. Yesterday we had gone through the whole charade of having Andy call the Tooth Fairy to tell her about the lost tooth, so we couldn't pretend that he'd forgotten to call. I had the brilliant idea for Andy to pretend that he had said to the Tooth Fairy, "My daughter lost a tooth," and that the Tooth Fairy accidentally went to Julie's room, didn't find a tooth, and thus left. Guess what? It worked! Andy got on the phone this morning, and we overheard something to the effect of "It was in a box on her white nightstand. No, white. What? Oh, no, not Julie! It was Stephanie!" Julie, who still really believes, was particularly delighted that she'd had an unscheduled visit from the Tooth Fairy! The Tooth Fairy will be sure to go to the right room tonight, and I have a feeling she'll even leave an extra dollar bill to make up for her error.

(For the record, this does not appear to be an isolated incident.)

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Book Group, At Long Last

Those of you who read my blog on its actual page (as opposed to in Bloglines or GoogleReader) may have noticed that Sara Gruen's novel Water for Elephants was listed as the "next" book up for my book group for a few months—quite a few months. It wasn't a case of my forgetting to update my sidebar; we really didn't meet in all that time. But after a number of false starts and canceled dates, we did finally get together last Thursday here at my house.

As much as we all enjoyed the book, there really wasn't that much to talk about! This has happened before—Michael Chabon's Pulitzer-prize-winning The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay totally wowed us all, but it seems that the "plottier" the book, the less there is to discuss. (Whereas other books that we all detested—Siri Hustvedt's What I Loved comes to mind—generated tons of discussion. This is obviously not always the case, but it just goes to show that you can't necessarily tell what makes a good book-group choice.) The depiction of time (the Depression) and place (a traveling circus) felt thoroughly realistic to us; Gruen obviously did a ton of research for this book, and I recommend that you read the "Author's Note" and interview in the back. But there was no denying that many of the characters were straight out of central casting, and Janice felt that the entire book seemed crafted with an eye toward a movie deal (and in fact, I read somewhere that the film rights have already been sold). We were all very impressed with the way Gruen portrayed the elderly Jake in the nursing home. Without resorting to cliché, she painted a very believable portrait of the frustration and sadness and nostalgia of this 90-something looking back on his extremely unconventional life.

This book seems to appeal to a wide variety of audiences—it was recommended to me by many different people with varying reading styles and tastes. Indeed, it's the first book in years that both Andy and I read! We generally don't have the same interests in fiction at all. I recommend this book to just about anyone, but I don't think you should choose it for your book group.

Next up is The Post-Birthday World by Lionel Shriver.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

I'm on Alltop

This is a quite a day for me and blog popularity. First this, and now I've been added to Alltop! In case you've been hiding under a log somewhere (as opposed to under a blog?), as quickly as it launched, Alltop became pretty much "the" blog directory on the web. Rather than just provide a list of all the blogs out there, the folks at Alltop have picked what they consider the best of the best in the blogosphere and presented them in categories, along with links to the 5 most recent posts on each blog. So you can explore blogs about books, or wine, or sports, or politics, or whatever. My blog falls under the life category, which seems about right. As you know, unlike other (more focused?) blogs, I tend to talk about whatever suits my fancy, just as if we were sitting together and chatting over a cup of tea. So go take a peek and see what else you can find there.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

OK Already, I'll Join Your Stupid Club

I've finally succumbed to Twitter pressure. You can now follow me here. There goes the last 8 minutes of my weekly free time.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Losing Letters

Does anyone else with a MacBook Pro find that the letters on their keyboard are rubbing off, including the silver paint, thus revealing the underlying clear plastic surface? Um, yeah, me neither....

I guess we should do a study of which letters I type most frequently: e, n, o, i, a, s, and d. According to Wikipedia, the 7 most-used letters in English are generally thought to be e, t, a o, i, n, and s. Surprisingly, my t-key is in tip-top shape.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

You Can All Say You Knew Me When...

Hey, cool, I've been Kawasakied! My PhotoShop Disasters link post has already had dozens of hits since he Twittered me about a half hour ago. Here's hoping some of those people will choose to stick around, and even come back for a return visit.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Walking and Talking with Julie

On Thursdays and Fridays, Julie has a shorter school day than Steph and Pete, so she and I walk home from school together at 12:30 and then walk back to school together at 3:00 to pick up the others. She still likes to hold hands, and we chat the whole way. On the way home, she generally gives me a play-by-play of her morning in Kindergarten, à la "I was Pledge Leader today! I got to leave my place and stand in front and start with 'I pledge...' and then everyone else joined in!" (Believe it or not, this is an only slightly more desirable job than Marker Checker, whose responsibility it is to make sure all the marker caps are on.)

About a week ago, Julie noticed lots of trash on the way to school. She asked me to bring a plastic bag to school when I picked her up so she could pick up trash on the way home. And she did! Each wrapper, straw, and crushed cup was seized upon with delight and plunked in the bag. I tried not to get too skeeved out, but I did draw the line at cigarette butts, and of course I made her wash her hands extra carefully once we got home.

The other day it was windy as we walked home, and Julie pointed to some leaves blowing about in a frenzy in the street. "Look, they're playing Ring Around the Rosie!" she exclaimed. Then, when the wind died down, she said, "Now it's the 'all fall down' part."

On the way back to school at 3:00 we play a game, these days usually either Rhyme Time or Julie's invention, Guess the Number. Rhyme Time goes like this: "I'm thinking of a word that rhymes with light." "Fight?" "No." "Right?" "No." "Bite?" "Yes!" And Guess the Number is pretty obvious: "I'm thinking of a number between 28 and 41." "30?" "Higher!" "38?" "Lower!" "32?" "Lower!" "31?" "Yes!")

As much as I enjoy my alone time, my little walks with my little Julie are delightful.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. If I Could Only Be Sure - Paul Weller
2. Pullin' Back the Reins - k.d. lang
3. Growin' Up (live) - Bruce Springsteen
4. Wish I - Jem
5. Love Is the Seventh Wave - The Duhks
6. Help Me Make It Through the Night - Bruce Robinson & Kelly Willis
7. Chocolate Jesus - Tom Waits
8. Big Road Blues - Paul Rishell
9. South Nashville Blues - Steve Earle
10. Jersey Girl (live) - Tom Waits

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Nothing a Little Airbrushing Can't Fix

I only recently discovered PhotoShop Disasters, a blog devoted to exposing advertising gaffes from graphic designers who think that they can PhotoShop their way out of anything. The offending part of the ad, poster, or product package is always circled in red, as in today's example:

Apparently some cereal-box designers decided that they needed an ethnic face, but maybe this ethnic person's midsection was a little too, um, curvey? No problem, we'll just PhotoShop someone else's tummy in there. Whoops! There are many, many unbelievably stupid and hilarious examples at this site; be prepared to be appalled.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Legalese

Yesterday a client emailed me a PDF of a revised contract to print out, sign, and return, either by fax or by uploading it via their FTP server. I couldn't really be bothered trying to figure out how to sign something and then upload it (scan it and then make a PDF, I guess?), so I faxed it. But I faxed only the two pages that I actually wrote on: the first page, on which I printed my name, and the last page, on which I affixed my signature. So the client emails me today to say that he didn't receive the whole thing. I email back, asking why I need to fax back the whole thing if he obviously already has all the middle pages and I haven't touched them. He says that he needs it to arrive all in one set from my fax machine. I think that's bullshit, because what if I was there in person to sign it? The middle pages wouldn't have any kind of mark on them that would show I saw them. If they want to be able to prove that I saw the whole thing, they should have asked me to initial all the pages, no? I'm not a lawyer (nor do I play one on TV), but this makes no sense to me.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

Here's what the Wiki-izer gave me this week:

David Battley (born, 5 November 1935, died 20 January 2003) was a British actor specialising in laconic, lugubrious comedy roles. He was born in Battersea, London, the son of Labour Member of Parliament John Battley. After a spell at Camberwell Art College and the family printing business, he studied at the Royal Academy of Dramatic Art and worked subsequently in repertory theatre in Liverpool.

His dry, ironical delivery became very familiar on television and cinema. He never had any notable leading roles, but as a character actor and comic stooge he was much in demand. TV work ranged from the satire show BBC 3 and the military police drama Redcap in the sixties through Eric Sykes' BBC sitcom and The Good Life in the 70s, and later The Bill, Lovejoy and Mr Bean in a busy and prolific career.

His best known work in the mid-70s was as comic foil to Monty Python team member Eric Idle in the BBC series Rutland Weekend Television (RWT). Idle praised Battley's dry, poker-faced style, but overlooked him when casting the American TV movie of RWT spin-off The Rutles' All You Need Is Cash, about a rock group based on The Beatles.

Battley also made many films, including Crossplot (1969), That's Your Funeral (1970) and Rentadick (1972), but his best-known big-screen roles are as Mr Turkentine in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971), and Ergo the Magnificent in Krull (1983).

Battley, who had been born with a hole in the heart, died of a heart attack on 20 January 2003.

Lugubrious? Nice usage. Never heard of him, though.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

My Blog Team Jackets Are In

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Cover Me

Coudal had a contest recently in which they solicited suggestions for songs covered by really unlikely singers. One of mine, Richard Thompson covering Britney Spears, "Oops! ... I Did It Again," made it to the finals! You've got to watch this video; RT turns a goofy pop jingle into something bitterly searing and dripping with irony. I love it! (I also submitted another one that didn't make the cut: Johnny Cash covering Depeche Mode, "Your Own Personal Jesus." Wow.) I'll let you know if I win.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Just Kidding

Steph just sent Andy an e-mail to let him know how the MCAS (standardized testing) went today:

Hi daddy,

mcas was good. guess what I went to the nurse, and she said I have bone cancer. april fools!

Love steph

Ha ha ha. I guess we have to work on the humor thing a little more.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Graphical User Interface

First there was Jessica Hagy's wonderful graph (and Venn diagram) blog, Indexed, which I've mentioned a couple of times already. Here's a recent favorite:

Then came the Song Chart Flickr pool, featuring homemade graphs supposed to represent songs, like this one:

I don't know any new pop or rap songs, and there weren't all that many "oldies" (ohmygodit'scometothis) for me in there, so much of the humor and cleverness was lost on me.

Now there's GraphJam, a blog devoted to graphical representations of all sorts of things. Like the Song Chart pool, anyone can jump in. Here's today's entry:

Another recent one I liked:

As with the Song Chart pool, I feel hopelessly out of the loop in terms of many of the TV and pop music references, but I'm determined to submit a graph myself one of these days. There's no reason us 40-somethings shouldn't be able to get in on the fun.

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

A Little Bit Country

One of the things I love about listening to Boot Liquor is the hilarious lyrics to some of the songs. To wit (pun fully intended):

• "How Do You Spell Relief? I Get D-R-U-N-K" - David Allan Coe
• "If You're So Country, Then Drink Yourself to Death" - Hangdogs
• "I'm at Home Getting Hammered (While She's Out Getting Nailed)" - Banjo and Sullivan
• "She's Acting Single and I'm Drinking Doubles" - Gary Stewart
• "Were You Lying Down When You Stood Me Up?" - Gurf Morlix (Best. Name. Ever.)
• "I Say Tomato, You Say It's Over (I Say Potato, You Say We're Through)" - Ruthie and the Wranglers

Andy frequently says (usually about the kids), "How can I miss you if you won't go away?"

(P.S. Don't forget to enter my BAFAB contest!)

Wanna Book?

It's not only April Fool's Day, it's also the first day of yet another BAFAB week! I've been too busy working to think up a clever contest, so we'll make this one easy: Leave a comment on this post before midnight Eastern Standard Time on Monday, April 7, and in the meantime, I'll figure out some interesting way to draw a winner's name at random (without the cats' help, I promise). You don't need to decide yet what book you want, but it must be a paperback available from Amazon. All I ask is that you participate in BAFAB yourself: You can actually buy a book for someone, or just give away a book you already own, doesn't matter. Good luck, and happy BAFABing to all!

My April Fool's Day Voice

I had planned on running into the kids' rooms this morning to announce that there was a blizzard overnight and school was canceled! But instead I have a terrible sore throat and feel like crap, so I stayed in bed. They got up first and saw that it is in fact already 60° here, so there went that prank. I'll have to think of something for later.

Andy had a sore throat last weekend; overnight he turned into a Barry White impersonator. I'm having the same experience—my voice dropped about two octaves since yesterday and now I sound a little bit like Kathleen Turner. Too bad it wasn't yesterday, when Andy and I went to Rebecca's house to add some voice-overs to a video she's producing! My voice sounds much more interesting today (although it hurts to talk).