verbatim

Duck!

A while back I discovered that Whole Foods carries Bell & Evans frozen duck breast fillets, so I try to keep a few packages in the freezer for a quick yummy meal. Each box contains two fillets, and each fillet is in a vacuum-sealed pouch, which defrosts very quickly under warm running water. On nights when the kids have had pizza at a birthday party or whatever, Andy and I often make this:

Quick Duck à l'Orange

2 boneless duck breast fillets (defrosted, if frozen)
½ cup orange marmalade
¼ cup dry sherry
¼ cup water

Use a small knife to make shallow cuts in a crissross pattern into the skin of the duck breasts; season with salt and pepper. Place the duck skin side down in a large skillet and cook over medium-low heat until the skin is crisp, about 15 minutes. Pour off the fat and flip the duck. Add the marmalade, sherry, and water; cover and cook for 5 more minutes for medium-rare. Remove the duck and let the sauce thicken for another minute or two. Thinly slice the duck and pour the sauce over. Serve with rice to sop up the extra sauce.

Sunday Miscellany

1. I forgot that I'd already ordered Emmylou's new CD "All I Intended to Be" from Amazon ($9.99), and yesterday I picked it up at Newbury Comics ($13.88). D'oh! I already opened the Newbury Comics one; maybe when the Amazon one comes, I can try to return it to Newbury Comics? So far I like it, but I haven't had a chance to give it a fair listen yet.

2. Andy is on Day 2 of 11 days off! In a row! Wheee!

3. A few weeks ago I got an email informing me that Houghton Mifflin (one of my best clients) had been bought by Cengage Learning. Apparently "Cengage" is supposed to convey "Center of Engagement." Peh. It's only slightly less horrible than Vonage, which I think is the worst company name in history. ("Ewww! Don't go near that guy—he looks like he has a horrible case of vonage!") I can't seem to utter "Cengage" without channeling Syndrome, the bad guy from "The Incredibles." That being said, I hope that my contacts at Houghton get to keep their jobs—and to continue sending work my way.

4. I'm putting the finishing touches on my cover letter to go out with the first of the two big cookbook manuscripts I'm copyediting this summer. Phew! It's been wonderful, but a huge amount of work. And now the other one is staring at me from the other side of the dining room table....

5. Things I said on Twitter in the last couple of days, in case you're still not following me:

• "Tom & Jerry" is on. Steph says, "This reminds me of Itchy & Scratchy."
•  Julie just asked, "Mom, is John McCain a real person?" (commercial just came on TV).
• A cardinal & a bluejay just had a little meeting on top of my garage - they were only inches apart but I couldn't get my camera in time.
• I dreamed that I had to help name a new band. I chose the name Hecate, which Google called a "wickedly delicious" band name.
• Just ordered tix to see Martin Sexton at the Berklee in December! Forgot to buy 'em yesterday and barely got decent seats today.

Movie Review

One night last week when Steph slept at a friend's house, we finally got a chance to watch an R-rated movie without having to wait till after she'd gone to bed. It was "You Kill Me," directed by John Dahl (of "Red Rock West" fame). Ben Kingsley plays an alcoholic hitman who is sent from Buffalo to San Francisco to dry out after falling asleep instead of offing his target. There he is provided with an apartment, given a job as an assistant at a mortuary, and strongly "encouraged" to attend AA meetings. He soon meets Téa Leoni, a sardonic, more than slightly bitter ad executive who has just enough hope and faith left to give this unlikely guy a try. I'd never thought much of her before, but she was terrific in this—completely believable and likable. Ben Kingsley does deadpan surprisingly well, and there are wonderful small roles for Phillip Baker Hall, Denis Farina, Bill Pullman, and Luke Wilson. This is by no means a Great Movie, but it was very entertaining and worthwhile for an evening of quirky noir comedy.

iPod Resume-Wreckers

Wendy sent me this meme (which she saw here):

Your instructions are as follows:

1. Take out your iPod.
2. Press <shuffle songs>.
3. Answer the following: a) How many songs before you come to one that would absolutely disqualify you from being President? b) What is that song?

My #2 song was "The Piano Has Been Drinking (Not Me)" by Tom Waits, which probably wouldn't disqualify me but would likely raise some eyebrows. But #4 was "Moonshiner" by Uncle Tupelo. And we all know that's illegal.

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Mississippi and Me - Kate Campbell
2. Long Tall Texan - Lyle Lovett
3. Summer Night - Bill Morrissey
4. Pony - Sam Baker
5. Wondering - Elvis Costello & The Attractions
6. Donegan's Gone - Mark Knopfler
7. Listening to Levon - Marc Cohn 
8. One Man Guy - Loudon Wainwright III
9. Malted Milk - Eric Clapton
10. Home Motel - Willie Nelson

Who Needs Editors?

Remember a few months ago when I posted that a Los Angeles newspaper had let go its entire editorial staff? Well, it appears that that was not an isolated occurrence. The latest brilliant idea from a West Coast newspaper is to outsource its copy editing to India. Oy.

A while back I heard a story on NPR about the Newseum, the news museum (duh) that opened in Washington in April. But what I learned only a week ago from this Times article was that in the entire 250,000-square-foot complex, there's not a single mention of the editorial function: "The museum has essentially nothing about how newspapers are made today, and thus nothing about the lowly yet exalted copy editor." For shame!

In response to all this unsettling news, the American Copy Editors Society has launched a site where editors, writers, and others (readers, one hopes) are encouraged to share their ideas on "Why Editing Matters." My comment is #41, but I chimed in with a hearty, "Hear, hear!" (no, not "Here, here!") to all the others.

Oh, and before you get the idea that we editorial types are all doom and gloom, check out this hilarious article on the subject. Can you find all 57 errors? (via Nancy)

[On an only slightly related note: I've always preferred the single word copyeditor to the two words copy editor. My favorite dictionary, Webster's Collegiate, uses two words for copy editor but one word for copywriter, copyreader, copydesk, copyright, copyboy, copybook, etc., and even the verb copyedit—huh? My second-favorite dictionary, American Heritage, uses one word for all those terms, including copyeditor. In this post, because I was citing the American Copy Editors Society, I changed "copyediting" to "copy editing" in the first paragraph for consistency's sake.]

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

I got a biography page:

Prof. Dr. Otto Soemarwoto (Purwokerto, 19 February 1926 – Bandung, 1 April 2008) was a professor of plant physiology at Padjajaran Universit and was director of the National Biology Institute from 1964 to 1972; he also served as director of the Institute of Ecology from 1972 until 1991. His work in the latter role has been cited as a primary influence on the resettlement strategy during Indonesia's Saguling Dam project.

As a child, Soemarwoto was an avid reader, liked traveling out of town and was fond of plants. He studied at a nautical training high school in Cilacap and, after completing his training at the high school, he worked as a deck officer on a wooden boat that travelled the Jakarta-Lampung route. Soemarwoto joined the student militia during the Indonesian struggle for independence, and upon its proclamation continued his studies at the School of Agriculture at Gadjah Mada University (UGM), Yogyakarta, of which he graduated in 1949.

He taught at UGM before being sent to study plant physiology at the University of California, Berkeley, where he stayed until 1959. An avid environmentalist, the professor was appointed so in 1960. In 1964 he was named director of the Bogor Botanical Garden at Padjajaran University.

Soemarwoto has been awarded an honorary doctorate from Wageningen University in Holland, the Order of the Golden Ark from Holland's Prince Bernhard, and the Global 500 award from the United Nations Environment Programme. He died on April 1, 2008, aged 82.

I now know more about Indonesia than I did a few minutes ago. Up till then, pretty much all I knew about Indonesia came from "The Year of Living Dangerously," which I watched almost obsessively in the '80s, before it became common knowledge that Mel Gibson is a bad guy. Poor Sigourney Weaver, she had no idea—none of us did!

Where I Draw the Line

A couple of weeks ago, the Times had a story called "Recipe Deal Breakers" that caught my eye.

Whether for reasons practical or psychological, even the most experienced cooks have an ingredient, technique or phrase that will make them bypass a recipe.

My reasons for turning the page generally fall into these categories:

• recipes requiring equipment I don't own (e.g., ice-cream maker, pasta machine)
• recipes featuring main ingredients I can't stand (e.g., organ meats, hard-boiled eggs)
• recipes with instructions I'm not able (read: willing) to follow (e.g., whacking a live lobster between the eyes with a cleaver, cutting up a bunny rabbit)

I make adjustments whenever I can—for instance, I might substitute parsley for the dreaded cilantro; if I don't have the time or inclination to make a pie crust, I'll buy one at Whole Foods—but frequently there's nothing to be done and I just accept the fact that I'll never try that particular recipe.

Regardless, I continue to clip recipes that I know in my heart I'll never make. I pretty much don't do anything that requires constant temperature-checking (like making candy). I grill for minutes, not hours. I'm happy to make a mess for deep-frying chicken, but green beans? Not bloody likely. And so on.

What about you? Where's your line in the culinary sand?

RIP, George Carlin

Nearly every blog I've read today has a George Carlin video clip on it, but The Nation had perhaps the best article I've seen.

"Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians," he explained in a routine that challenged all the premises of today's half-a-loaf reformers. "Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here… like, the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. Fuck Hope.'"

Monday Link Dump

1. Check out Arcade Fire's interactive video for "Neon Bible." Go ahead, click on his hands and face.

2. These people are way more neurotic than I am. Phew.

3. If you never hear from me again, it's because I've decided to spend the rest of my life playing with this kaleidoscope toy. (Kudos, once again, to Ze Frank!)

Frosting Typos

As hard as it is to believe, I am not the "Karen" who submitted this wonderful photo to the English Fail blog, despite the "Verbatim" tag and all:

And note the bonus error in "Birthday's"! (Thanks, Susan!)

Reminds me of this one, which has been traveling around the 'Net for a while now:

A Little Off the Top

I think a little harmless rebellion is a good thing in kids. Hair is a great area for kids to try out their rebellious spirit—who cares what color it is or how long/short? It all grows out eventually. So when Pete announced sometime during the winter that he was growing his hair long, I had no problem. He did agree to one very small trim in front a couple of months ago, but otherwise it hasn't been touched. Until today! He decided over the weekend that it was falling in his face too much and getting annoying and hot. Behold:

Before...

...and after:

I had forgotten that he had ears.

Last Week's Dinner

Last Sunday we had Barbara and Jerry over for Father's Day dinner, and I just realized I never posted my menu. We started off with a really pretty "arranged" salad I saw in Fine Cooking:
 
That's a bed of baby arugula (one of those 5-oz. tubs) covered with garlic croutons (see below), 3 tomatoes (cored, seeded, diced), 1 hothouse cuke (seeded, diced), ½ lb. feta cheese (diced), and 1 cup Kalamata olives (pitted, quartered). It would have looked prettier with the dressing all over it, but I didn't want to scare off the kids. Here's the recipe:

½ cup really good olive oil
¼ cup red-wine vinegar
2 Tbsp finely chopped shallots
1 tsp Dijon mustard
1 tsp chopped fresh oregano
1 tsp mashed oil-packed anchovies
kosher salt & black pepper

You know I hate mustard, and I hate anchovies even more, but you don't taste those specific flavors—it's just yummy. That being said, any vinaigrette would be fine here, although be sure to include some oregano, which goes so nicely with the other Greek flavors in this salad.

I didn't have time to make my own croutons, so I bought the ones they sell in the bakery department at Whole Foods instead. Then I heated up ⅓ cup olive oil with 2 thinly sliced garlic cloves for a few minutes, poured it through a strainer onto the croutons in a bowl, and tossed the croutons in the oil along with 2 Tbsp chopped fresh parsley, 1 tsp finely grated lemon zest, ¼ tsp kosher salt, and a few grinds of black pepper. Most excellent.

For the main course, I marinated a couple of flank steaks (this is double the marinade recipe):

8 large shallots, chopped
¼ cup olive oil
¼ cup fresh lemon juice
¼ cup dry red wine
1 Tbsp dried thyme

After a few hours, we grilled the steaks. Yum, yum, yum. Then watermelon and cookies—not bad, eh?

Happy Belated Birthday!

We decided to wait until Pete was 9 years and 2 months old before having his birthday party because um, well, just because. Finally today we took him and a bunch of his buddies to see "Kung Fu Panda." What a surprisingly good movie! I say "surprisingly" because we've come to expect kids' movies to be just barely tolerable these days ("Alvin and the Chipmunks," I'm talking to you). We had seen the preview about a year ago, and they made it out to be just one long fat-boy joke, but it really had a lot more to it than that. It had a good story, superb animation, and plenty of voice talent (Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Ian McShane, Lucy Liu, Jackie Chan, Angelina Jolie...). Particularly if you're a fan of martial arts movies, you'll like this one.

Then we headed back home for pizza and cake. Really, what could be bad?

Typos Just for Me

Via Nancy, who knows how much I love the Sox:

 
(and who also pointed out this article about Jewish baseball players, including our own Kevin Youkilis)

Via Jo, who knows how much I love eating out:

What a waste of a cute name, huh?

Friday Link Dump

Are you bored? Do you feel horny? Are you unsure of which fork to use? Have no fear, the remedies for these and other common (and not so common) complaints are all here.

Can you do 100 push-ups? I'm not sure I've done 100 push-ups, all told, in my whole life. Maybe I will try it this summer. Shyeah.

Here's a list of ten cheap but good Cabernets. Hess is our house wine; in fact, I just bought a case today at Costco. (Speaking of which, the next time I get the brilliant idea to go to Costco with all three kids in tow, someone please tie me to a chair.)

TAL Fan Gear

Remember about a month ago when I mentioned that I was editing the posts over at The ConverStation? It's the blog from Ken George, WBUR's new-media guru, and whenever I see that a new post is up, I just sneak in and give it a quick once-over with my electronic green pencil. It's easy—and fun for a nerd like me.

The satisfaction of the work itself is reward enough, and I also like to imagine that it can serve as an additional "donation" to my favorite NPR station, above and beyond my annual pledge. But yesterday I received a package from Ken containing something he found in the depths of the SwagBin: He doesn't know how it came to be produced, but it's a T-shirt with the logo from "This American Life" (one of my favorite shows—yours too, I bet) and then something in an Asian language below. I'm assuming—nay, hoping!—it says "This American Life." Anyone know what language it is and what it says? "This American Life" in Chinese below. (Thanks to Lisa's daughter for the translation!)

Oh, and here's the little logo on the back:

Thanks, Ken, for the cool gift!

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Comrades Fill No Glass for Me - Ron Sexsmith
2. Sin City - Beck & Emmylou Harris
3. Man of Constant Sorrow (live) - Alison Krauss & Union Station with Dan Tyminski
4. Rich Man's World - Eilen Jewell
5. Someday, Someway - Marshall Crenshaw
6. Shine On Harvest Moon - Leon Redbone
7. The Finer Things - Steve Winwood
8. Love at the Five and Dime - Nanci Griffith
9. Rockin' Chair - Death Cab For Cutie
10. Last Kiss - Pearl Jam

Friday Fill-Ins

1. A smile is easy to detect over the phone.
2. Boggle or Scrabble or Sorry or Set is my favorite board or card game. Can't make up my mind today, and I've surely left out others I enjoy.
3. I would love to have more free time in my life and less hectic scrambling to get things done.
4. When I think of the Summer Solstice, I think of the end of the school year. Today's the first day of summer vacation! (Now what...?)
5. I just remembered I need to order Pete's birthday cake.
6. One of my favorite song lyrics goes like this:

Almost blue
Almost doing things we used to do
There's a girl here and she's almost you
Almost all the things that your eyes once promised
I see in hers too
Now your eyes are red from crying

("Almost Blue" from Elvis Costello, which just came up on iTunes.)
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to making lamb chops, tomorrow my plans include seeing "Kung Fu Panda" for Pete's very belated birthday party, and Sunday, I want to have to get some work done!

Pomp and Silly String

When Steph was in kindergarten, I didn't know what to expect on the last day of school for the graduating class's send-off. It turned out to be a "good, clean fun" tradition: A few minutes before noon, all the students, teachers, and families gather on the hot-top, with all the fifth-graders in the middle. At 11:59, the countdown begins, and at "3-2-1!" the crowd erupts in cheers, and the fifth-graders spray Silly String everywhere. And I cry. Even if I don't know a single "graduate," I get all ferklempt.

Today at noon, Steph was one of the fifth graders with a can of green Silly String and a huge smile on her face. I was smiling too, even through the tears.

FF3!

Yesterday, along with about a bazillion other people around the world, I downloaded the latest version of Firefox. Here's my take on it so far:

The good news:
1. Fast? Wicked fast. Like, wow.
2. New windows open flush top, instead of 1/4" down the page (thus obliterating the bottom status bar). I've been waiting a long time for this.

The bad news:
1. The Mac version has dark gray tabs that are very hard on the eyes. Why do they have to be so dark?
2. I have my preferences set so that when I start up Firefox, it will open all the same tabs and windows I had open the last time I used it. I like this option in case of a crash, so I don't lose all those open tabs. The problem is that now I can't seem to figure out a way to make new windows open up to a blank page. The default Mozilla page keeps opening up. Maddening.

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

Here's yet another little-known rite:

A stille omgang (silent "procession" or circambulation) is an informal ritual as substitute for the Roman Catholic processions that were prohibited after the Reformation in the Netherlands in the 16th century. The biggest and best known is the "Stille Omgang" of Amsterdam, which is still performed every year in March.

This procession commemorates the Miracle of the Host of 12 March 1345, a miracle which involved a dying man vomiting upon being given the Holy Sacrament and last rites. The Host was then put in the fire, but miraculously remained intact and could be retrieved from the fire in one piece without the heat burning the hand of the person that retrieved it. This miracle was officially recognised as such by the Roman Catholic Church, and a large pilgrimage chapel ("Heilige Stede" = Holy Site) was built where the house had stood, and the Heiligeweg (Holy Way) as a pilgrimage route to it.

The Stille Omgang fell out of practice at the beginning of the 19th century, but was revived in 1881. About 8000 Catholics, and also some non-Catholics, from all over the Netherlands take part in it, after first having joined a mass in one of Amsterdam's churches. The procession always occurs on the night of Saturday on Sunday following 12 March.

Still not quite clear on when it occurs, but then again, I don't think I'll be taking part anytime soon.

Toon Town

I think I've been letting the kids watch too much Cartoon Network!

 

Try it out yourself here.

The Grass Is Always Greener...

We met last night to discuss Lionel Shriver's novel The Post-Birthday World, which we all loved. Sometimes we all love a book but find nothing much to talk about, but not this time. A great read, and plenty of fodder for discussion.

In Chapter 1, we meet Irina, a children's-book illustrator who lives in London with Lawrence, her think-tank policy wonk husband (well, they're not actually married, but they've been together nearly 10 years). They are very comfortable and content with their peaceful, if humdrum, expat life (they're American). Sure, Irina wouldn't mind it if once in a while they had sex in a different position or went on an exotic vacation or didn't watch TV every night after dinner, but for the most part, life is good. It's fine. Just fine.

Every July, Irina and Lawrence go out to dinner with another couple, Jude and Ramsey, to celebrate Ramsey's birthday. Jude is a children's-book author with whom Irina has collaborated, and Ramsey is a professional snooker (British variation of billiards) player. He's handsome and a little dangerous-seeming, with his Cockney accent and flashy lifestyle. When the book opens, Jude and Ramsey have divorced, and Lawrence has a business trip to Sarajevo in July, so Irina and Ramsey go out to dinner alone. They end up a little tipsy back at his place, and there's a perfect opportunity at Ramsey's basement snooker table for Irina to kiss Ramsey. Does she or doesn't she?

What follows are two Chapter 2's, two Chapter 3's, two Chapter 4's, and so on. Half the book follows the plot as it would unfold if Irina showed restraint and went home without kissing Ramsey. The alternating chapters show us what would happen if she in fact gave in to her impulse. What happens to Lawrence in each case? To their careers? To everyone else?

Shriver does a masterful job of balancing these two parallel stories. Frequently a pair of chapters will have a common scene but with very different outcomes. For instance, in one chapter Irina and Lawrence must uncomfortably avert their glances as another couple goes at it under a blanket in the first-class cabin on a trans-Atlantic flight; in the corresponding chapter, Irina and Ramsey are the couple under the blanket! In one chapter Irina is at a cocktail party with Lawrence's boring colleagues, who do nothing but talk politics; or is she really at a party with Ramsey's good-time snooker cronies, who never once seem to talk about anything important or interesting, like politics? Why doesn't Lawrence want to go out once in a while? Why doesn't Ramsey want to stay home once in a while? And so on. It's great fun, and the writing is wonderful.

Remember the mediocre movie "Sliding Doors"? This book takes the same basic idea but does something wonderful with it. I recommend it heartily.

Next up: The Last of Her Kind by Sigrid Nunez.

Two-fer Tuesday

1. Maybe I should've learned how to iron years ago—now I'm too old to take up Extreme Ironing! You have to look at these photos.

2. Cat Game Show. I'm serious. Here's how it works:

Round 1: Qualifying Challenge/Lightning Round
A bowl of Meow Mix is placed in front of each of the eight cat-testants (yes!); the first three cats to finish eating advance to Round 2. But are they allowed to vomit immediately afterward? This is not addressed in the Terms and Conditions.

Round 2: Are You Smarter Than a Cat?
The humans face off in question-and-answer rounds based on general cat knowledge. Someone stupid gets knocked out in this round.

Round 3: Think Like A Cat
The two remaining cat-testants try to predict their cat's actions. Good luck. (After my previous bad experience with Gracie and Mr. Jones, I don't think I'll bother.)

Round 4: Grand Prize Round

Ten bags of Meow Mix, each with a hidden "protein symbol," are displayed. Only two bags have matching symbols. The human chooses one and the cat chooses one. If they match, they win. A million dollars. Oh yes indeedy.

Charge!

I know that most people have very glamorous credit cards that let them earn air miles and hotel rooms and all that stuff, but me? Since I don't do much any traveling these days, I have an L.L. Bean VISA. It has no annual fee, and I earn L.L. Bean credits for every purchase I make anywhere—plus I get free shipping on everything I order from L.L. Bean. I make a point to charge everything I possibly can, so every year I end up getting tons of free merchandise, from parkas to swimsuits to backpacks. I also have a Citi MasterCard that lets me earn cash back on food purchases, so I use that for food until the $300 annual cap is reached (usually sometime in the fall); everything else goes on the VISA.

A few weeks ago I got a letter saying that my current L.L. Bean VISA is being discontinued, but they're coming out with a new one next month that will also include free return shipping! Sign me up. But oh, how I wish there was a Lands' End card!

Movie Review

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I couldn't stop laughing when I listened to the "Fresh Air" interview with John C. Reilly and Jake Kasdan about the rock biopic parody "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story." The interview first aired in December 2007, but I didn't hear it until it was rebroadcast in honor of the movie's DVD release in April. I moved the DVD to the top of my Netflix queue, and we watched it over the weekend. It was hilarious.

Take "Walk the Line" and mix it with "Ray" and you'll get an idea of what genre this movie aims at. Not a single stereotype or cliché is overlooked: a rural childhood, a tragic family death, a first wife left at home to take care of all the babies when the second wife comes on the scene, drug problems, etc. John C. Reilly is terrific in the lead role—and does all his own singing too, copying everyone from Roy Orbison to Bob Dylan.

Although there's a ton of slapstick and rude jokes, co-writers Kasdan and Judd Apatow obviously have a soft spot for these music movies, because there's a tenderness about the humor—and some of the songs are pretty good! It reminds me in that respect of "A Mighty Wind," which also poked fun, but never poked too hard.

All in all, an enjoyable—if really silly—movie.

This Review Is Longer Than the Book

On Saturday while I was waiting for the miracle Goldwell chemicals to work their magic on my ever-grayer hair, I read Ian McEwan's very short (200 small, widely spaced pages) novel, On Chesil Beach (well, most of it, anyhow—I finished the rest that evening). I had added it to my Amazon Wish List when it first came out, having read the (only slightly) abridged excerpt in The New Yorker in December 2006. Sandy was kind enough to give me the book for a recent BAFAB week.

Both the short story and the novel versions begin with a scene in the honeymoon suite at a beachside inn, June 1962:

They were young, educated, and both virgins on this, their wedding night, and they lived in a time when a conversation about sexual difficulties was plainly impossible.

Here's what Edward's got on his mind as they eat their dinner:

For more than a year, Edward had been mesmerized by the prospect that on the evening of a given date in June the most sensitive portion of himself would reside, however briefly, within a naturally formed cavity inside this cheerful, pretty, formidably intelligent woman. How this was to be achieved without absurdity, or disappointment, troubled him.

Unfortunately, here's Florence's take on the situation:

Where he merely suffered conventional first-night nerves, she experienced a visceral dread, a helpless disgust as palpable as seasickness. For much of the time, through all the months of merry wedding preparation, she had managed to ignore this stain on her happiness, but whenever her thoughts turned toward a close embrace—she preferred no other term—her stomach tightened dryly, and she felt nausea at the back of her throat.

So, as they pick at their food (McEwan notes, "This was not a good moment in the history of English cuisine..."), they are both more than a little preoccupied. McEwan's scene-setting and characterization are just right—we really get a feel for our poor young couple and the uncomfortable time and place they find themselves in.

The short story ends just as the couple approaches the bed, and I liked that leaving-off point. The novel, however, goes farther—and I think mars the whole thing. I won't give anything away, but what struck me as a terribly out-of-character argument ensues between our young newlyweds. I was taken completely aback. The book ends with a description of Edward looking back on this night from later in life, and I would have liked to hear Florence's side of it too.

I would have to say that this is one of those rare instances in which I preferred the abridgment to the full-lenth story. Did anyone else read either the book or the story? If both, which order did you read them in? What did you think?

Go Blue Jays!

Today was the AA Little League World Series, and Pete's team won! It was by far the best game of the season—the final score was 4-3 after an extra inning! As happy as I was for Pete and his teammates, my heart broke for his buddies on the other team, who played just as hard and wanted it just as badly. They're still just kids, and they were crushed. The other moms and I would have been just as happy if everyone went home when the score was tied.

Pete got a good hit, made a stunning catch (no one was more stunned than he), and was part of a great play for an out at first base. I was very grateful he wasn't pitching, because I don't know if I could have withstood the pressure.

AAA, here we come! After I take the next 10 months to recover from this season, that is.

A Father's Day Tradition

They Do It Just to Annoy Me

1. I pass this sign several times a day as I walk back and forth between home and school, and the backward apostrophe makes my blood pressure rise every time:

2. I do some of my online shopping through the Stockback portal so I can get back a percentage of my purchase amount in cash. They of course want me to invest it in their stocks, but I prefer getting a check. I would prefer it even more if they knew how to spell:
 

Cyber-Toddler T-shirt

Saw this at the dreaded Walgreens and had to chuckle (and snap a photo):

Saturday Funnies

I came upon another one of those sites that collects funny newspaper clippings, but this is the biggest one yet—be sure to click through all the pages. (I occasionally got a "bandwidth exceeded" error message, but I eventually got to see them all.)

It's got everything from bad translations:

to incorrect photo placements:

to really curious line-art choices:
 

to flat-out typos:

to nonsensical headlines:

to just-plain funny stuff:

Enjoy!

Ocean Celebration

To cap off the Kindergarteners' ocean unit (yes, that's why we went to the Aquarium), today was the Ocean Creature Feature! Julie was in charge of researching the stonefish. The what? I'd never heard of it. Turns out it's a pretty cool creature that can camouflage itself on the ocean floor (it looks just like a stone, not surprisingly) and has poisonous spines that can even kill a human! It's the most poisonous fish in the ocean. Who knew?

We are fast approaching the end of our last year with the greatest Kindergarten teacher on the planet. I am so grateful that all three of my kids got to spend a year with her! Thanks for everything, Susan!

Friday Fill-Ins

1. Travel is high up on my bucket list. (In truth, I don't even have a bucket list, so I had trouble coming up with anything for this one. I just hope I live long enough to see my kids become happy adults.)
2. My favorite quote One of my favorite quotes is "You're gonna need a bigger boat"; it's from "Jaws."
3. Karine inspired me to start blogging.
4. Strawberries are best in someone else's dish. (Sorry, just not my favorite flavor or texture!)
5. Andy was smoking menthol cigarettes in the last dream I remember having. Peh.
6. The most enjoyable time to go for a walk is on a warm, breezy day at the beach.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to getting some more work done, tomorrow my plans include a long-overdue appointment for a haircut and color, and Sunday I want to watch Pete's final Little League game. 

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. Rex's Blues - Jay Farrar & Kelly Willis
2. Black Is the Colour - Paul Weller
3. Aeroplane - the everybodyfields
4. Thunderbird - John Hiatt
5. Down the Old Plank Road - The Chieftains, John Hiatt, Bela Fleck, Jeff White, & Tim O'Brien
6. Willin' (live) - Little Feat 
7. Sailing to Philadelphia - Mark Knopfler
8. Crazy Love (live) - Jackson Browne & Marc Cohn   
9. Righteously - Lucinda Williams
10. Ice Cream Man - Tom Waits

Vote Republican: You'll Get What You Deserve

No Republicans were harmed in the making of this film.

Wiki Wednesday

Time to learn something!

1. Go to Wikipedia.
2. Click on "Random article" in the left-hand sidebar box.
3. Post it!

Here's mine, a great example of "you never know what will turn up":

Nervous laughter is used to describe laughter evoked from an audience's expression of embarrassment, alarm, or confusion, rather than amusement. Nervous laughter is usually less robust in expression than "a good belly laugh", and may be combined with confused glances or awkward silence on the part of others in the audience. Nervous laughter is considered analogous to a courtesy laugh, which may be rendered by more of a conscious effort in an attempt to move a situation along more quickly, especially when the comedian is pausing for laughter.

Unhealthy or "nervous" laughter comes from the throat. This nervous laughter is not true laughter, but an expression of tension and anxiety. Instead of relaxing a person, nervous laughter tightens them up even further.

Heh heh.

News Flash: Summer's Over!

Here's the post I was working on when my electricity went out over 3 hours ago! Power was finally restored, but alas, my post was lost.

Exhibit A, clipped from iCal, showing today's date:


Exhibit B, clipped from Wikipedia's article on Summer:

Exhibit C, clipped from the WeatherDoc on my MacBook this afternoon:

And finally, Exhibit D, photo taken of the catalog that arrived in the mail today:

I ask you, WTF?

Chained to My Heart

Via Twitter I "met" SimpleMom, whose blog is all about tips for simplifying our lives—even if we live with kids (who, as any parent knows, do anything but simplify things). A few weeks ago, she ran a contest, and the winner was ... me! The prize was just so cool: a personalized sterling-silver necklace from jewelry-maker Lisa Leonard. The necklace was supposed to include just two two hammered squares (in addition to the freshwater pearl), so I asked Lisa if I could purchase a third, and she threw it in for free! It arrived yesterday, and I'm pleased as punch:

Free Game, Free Review

Since I finally caved and bought Pete a Nintendo DS Lite for his last birthday, I jumped at the chance to get him a free game to review from Mom Central. The game is called GoPets Vacation Island, and in some ways it reminds me of Webkinz, in that you adopt a pet and then have to take care of and play games with it. Pete thought it was cool that you could pet the animals with the stylus, but for the most part, this game was not fun and interesting enough for him; he prefers more action-oriented games like Yu-Gi-Oh! and Star Wars Lego. He thought that it was "too easy to earn stuff" and wished you could adopt different animals, not just cats and dogs. He also didn't like that you would have to use it every day or else your pet would go hungry (as on Webkinz).

Julie, on the other hand, loved it. Pete let her give it a whirl, and she had a great time playing the various games. She thought the pets were really cute, and she also enjoyed petting and feeding them. She pronounced it "more fun than Webkinz."

So I would conclude that this game is suited more to the under 8-year-old set. To be fair, though, I don't let Pete go online on the DS, so he didn't get to "add a social networking twist," as per the web site, but I still think he would have tired of it soon enough.

Mother of the Year

Pete had a baseball game yesterday in the blistering heat. He threw his filthy uniform in the washing machine afterward, but I forgot to run it. He had another game today (a make-up) and went looking for his uniform. Oops! I went to pull it out of the washer (it wouldn't be the first time, my friends) only to find that we had thrown all the wet swimsuits on top of it after our visit to the pool in the afternoon. So I threw the still-dirty, now-wet uniform directly into the dryer for a few minutes. I took it out, although not quite dry, and realized he would probably combust if he put it on (it was already in the 90s at this point), so I popped it into the freezer. Yes, you heard it here first.

Then I had to decide whether I would be a worse mother if I didn't go watch his game or if I dragged the girls out to watch it in this beastly weather. I compromised by picking up a few boxes of popsicles for everyone, bringing them to the game in a cooler, watching Pete hit a triple and then make a beautiful catch and subsequent play to first base, then took the girls to the pool.

Imagine...

It's a crying shame that this is so obviously a mock Google page.

Saturday Link Dump

These are things I meant to post about last week but never got around to:

• The Times came up with this fun graphic to play with while learning about how the Obama/Clinton votes broke down demographically.
• SFGate rates supermarket brands of thick-sliced bacon. Mmm ... bacon.
• I've added Urawaza to my Amazon wish list. The author's web site is here. The book is filled with Japanese solutions to everyday problems, from how to clean up spilled egg yolk (salt!) to how to remove scratches from a CD (toothpaste!) to how to get a baby to stop crying (I'll let you watch the video for this one, but let's just say that it's quite a few years too late for me). I love this kind of stuff.
• Anagram lovers will enjoy this short film about superstar anagramist (and baker!) Cory Calhoun.

Information Is Forever

By sheer coincidence, the same day I posted that I wouldn't be blogging about Steph anymore, Emily Bazelon had a similar piece over at Slate (hat-tip to Scott for the link). I had to email Bazelon, because there's one thing I never understand in these debates over whether parents should blog about their kids' personal lives: that argument about how "the Internet is forever." Aren't books forever? Haven't people been writing books about their kids for, well, forever? Bazelon replied, "My point about the Internet is that it's far more accessible, and searchable, than books, or than newspapers etc. used to be." That's a valid point, but I also think the inverse holds true: I believe that there are many bloggers out there who, if approached for a book deal, would want to edit out some of their blog posts before publishing it all in a real, live book that would last forever. As for me, I like to think that there's nothing in my blog that I wouldn't put in a book (well, except for maybe that photo of me with the dorky reading glasses), and vice-versa.

The New iPhone's Here!

Typos R Us

Which high school seniors do you feel worse for?

1. The students in Westlake, OH, whose diplomas misspelled the word "education."

or

2. The students in Middletown, PA, whose yearbook was produced with the aid of a spell-checker, thus transforming all their names to similar-sounding real words—thus Max Zupanovic became Max Supernova, Cameron Bendgen became Cameron Bandage, Kathy Carbaugh became Kathy Airbag, etc.

Friday Random iPod Ten

Today only! Bonus! Opening lyrics of each song!

1. Strawberry Jam - Michelle Shocked

Saturday morning found me itchin'
To get on over to my Grandma's kitchen.
The sweetest little berries was cooking up right
And then we put 'em in a canning jar and seal 'em up tight.

2. Can't Shake These Blues (live) - Chris Smither

No matter how I try
I just can't shake these blues.

3. Fishing with Bill - Greg Brown & Bill Morrissey

Oh man, what a winter
Sorrow wide and deep.
Is it just the media industry or the whole country
That is turning into sheep?

4. Housework - Loudon Wainwright III

I've been waiting for you to come through that door, dear
Your whereabouts tonight I do not know.
The house is nice and clean.
The wineglasses, they gleam.
The candles on the table cast their glow.
I finished cooking dinner an hour ago.

5. Handy Man - James Taylor 

Hey girls, gather 'round
Listen to what I'm putting down.
Hey baby, I'm your handy man.

6. You Can Love Yourself - Keb' Mo' 

My baby, she wrote me a letter
She didn't call me on the phone
Five little words was all she wrote
She said, "See you later, I'm gone."

7. Black Sheep (live) - Martin Sexton

Sittin' in this lonely town
Wonderin' when things are gonna change
Dreamin' my life away
And it seems them dreams, they turned into a bunch of dust clouds

8. End of the Movie  - Cake

People you love will turn their backs on you
You'll lose your hair, your teeth
Your knife will fall out of its sheath
But you still don't like to leave before the end of the movie.

9. Me And Julio Down by the Schoolyard (live) - Paul Simon

The Mama Pajama, she rolled out of bed
And she rambled to the police station
And when the Papa found out, he began to shout
And he started the investigation.

10. Lie to Me - David Byrne

It's a beautiful world and a beautiful dream
And you know I don't care things are not what they seem
Making up stories that you know aren't true
But you know it's alright 'cause I know it too.

Friday Fill-Ins

1. Idle hands are apt to fidget.
2. I love to stay as long as possible in the shower.
3. My favorite time of the day is when Andy comes home.
4. The last tea I drank was PG Tips.
5. I like to go to the beach in the summer.
6. My mother always said "The day will come, and the day will go" when I was dreading something.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to sending Pete off to see the Sox with his grandparents (if it stops raining), tomorrow my plans include Julie's soccer game (again, if the weather clears up), and Sunday, I want to see some far-flung relatives who will all be in town at the same time!

Until Further Notice

Just so you know, Steph has requested that I stop blogging about her. Well, the potentially embarrassing stuff, anyhow. Which is a major bummer, because I was kind of counting on the trials and tribulations of her advance to middle school next fall to provide me with a sizable chunk of content for this blog. Mais non. So, unless you hear otherwise, assume that she likes some boy who does/doesn't like her back, that she does/doesn't like some boy who likes her, that I won't let her do whatever everyone else is doing, that puberty is just as painful for me to observe from close range as it was to experience first-hand, and, mainly, that I just don't "get it." In the meantime, here's hoping Pete and Julie can keep the "Kids Say and Do the Darnedest Things" boat afloat for a while longer.