The Long-Overdue Facebook Post

For quite a few weeks now, I've been mentally composing a blog post about Facebook. As you may recall, in November I finally succumbed to peer pressure and joined. As much as I dislike nearly everything about it, it does seem to be the place to find (and be found by) old friends and colleagues. With my 25th (!!) college reunion coming up this spring, as well as my camp's 70th reunion fest, all I kept hearing was "Check out all the updates on Facebook." In truth, via Facebook I've gotten back in touch with some people from my past whom I might not have found (or even thought to look for) without it. But beyond that, it's not for me.

As far as I can tell, here are the things that people do on Facebook:
1. Post status updates. These one-liners are exactly what Twitter is all about, and I greatly prefer Twitter because it's easier to have a conversation with many people at once and to "follow" people you don't really know without committing to "friending" them.
2. Post photos, notes, web links, and so on. I do all of this right here at Verbatim! It's one-stop shopping for all things Karen!
3. Play Scrabble or other games with their friends. I imagine this would be fun, but I can't really be bothered to find a game that's going on at a time that I'm available.
4. Send people virtual flowers, snowballs, drinks, plants, gifts, etc. I have absolutely no interest in this.
5. There is no #5.

So, once a week or so, I remember to add a status update, something along the lines of "Karen is roasting a duck" or "Karen hopes that tomorrow isn't a snow day" (and, for the record, I can't stand the forced use of the third person!). For a while, I had my Twitter status updates showing up automatically on Facebook, but it seemed to me that my replies to others on Twitter (those tweets that start with the @ symbol followed by someone's name) were too non-sequitur-ish. If someone could come up with a way to filter out the replies, I'd put my Twitter status updates back on Facebook. Update: Thanks to James, my Twitter status updates are now back on Facebook! Update to Update: After experimenting with it, I've again taken down my Twitter status updates from Facebook. For good. It's two different "audiences," and that's how it should be.

I occasionally skim the recent status updates of my "friends," and once in a while I reply to something. What I don't ever do is go back through the status history to read everything I've missed since the last time I checked in.

I set up an automated thingamabob that posts a note on Facebook every time I put up a new blog post here, with a link. That's handy, although most of my readers probably use an RSS feed aggregator like Google Reader or Bloglines to find out when I've been a-bloggin'. The upside of a feed reader is that it continues to show new blog posts until you've read them. I follow many dozens of blogs, so a feed reader is invaluable to me.

For anyone with both a blog and a Twitter account (like me), Facebook doesn't offer anything extra. And with the latest news that Facebook has quietly amended their Terms of Service such that they own everything that is posted on Facebook (photos, original writing, everything) "in perpetuity," I have even less reason to post anything worthwhile there.

So, what have we learned here?
1. Read my blog—it's filled with delightful anecdotes, delectable recipes, insightful book and movie reviews, grammar lessons, political rants, fun and interesting web links, and oh, so much more.
2. Follow me on Twitter—where you'll catch up on all the witticisms and "deep thoughts" and brief observations that didn't make it to my blog.
3. And, if you want, "friend" me over on Facebook, but don't expect to get much out of it.

Comments

[Allin Bond]

You Bring up some good points. I think the hoopla with Facebook is dying down.

I have a tough time with Facebook because I was one of the first college students to use Facebook back in 2004. In those days all the interaction on Facebook was with students in your class and other college kids in school. That was the genius of Facebook's initial idea.

[James]

My @ replies don't show up on Facebook. I don't think I did anything special; the app that posts the status just seems to work that way. Perhaps it was a setting and I just forgot that I set it that way?

[Elena]

I understand your reasons, but aren't they a little one-sided? Don't you have any interest in keeping up with the old friends you have found (or who have found you) on FB? They don't necessarily have blogs where you can keep up with all of their goings-on.I enjoy keeping up with old high school friends and seeing photos of their families. And as far as the games--you can play against a friend on whatever schedule you want. At least for the games I play, I play my turns when it's convenient for me and my friend takes her turns when it fits her schedule.

[Karen]

Allin: Yes! It started off as just an online version of the old paperbound "facebooks" that we old folks had in our college days. I recall that one had to have a .edu email address in order to use Facebook in its early years.

[James]

BTW - the difference between Twitter and Facebook (for me) is the membership. There are different people on Facebook, although there is overlap.

I'm not fond of apps or the like, but Facebook takes little time to update and check, so I just send my updates there and respond to any comments people make. It's just another form of online presence.

Also, I became a fan of bacon there.

[Karen]

Elena: But I don't need FB to stay in touch with people -- I can use email. I do acknowledge FB's value for finding these old friends in the first place, but beyond that, there are other methods that keep me in touch with people more conveniently and with a better interface.

[Karen]

James: I can't stand the FB interface, but you're right about the differences in the community. I find it much easier to make connections with people on Twitter, whereas it feels like a big deal to "friend" someone on FB.

Mmmm, bacon.

[Nancy]

Amen and thank you. I have zero interest in connecting with college classmates, and I am *definitely* uninterested in reviving summer-camp memories, but I was told that everyone who matters in Silicon Valley is on Facebook, so I've tried a couple of times to set myself up there. I hated everything about it, not least that irritating third-person business. Then Mxrk (http://mxrk.net) sent me a tweet that cleared everything up: Facebook, he said, is for people who don't have blogs. All right, then. Back to blogging! And Twitter.

[Orange]

Ah, see, I'm the opposite. Very few people who know me are on Twitter. My tweets would be largely ignored if they didn't feed into my Facebook status, where friends (including real friends, mere acquaintances, and people I don't know who read my blog) might respond, or at least see it. I completely ignore Facebook's third-person thing—I write my tweets and they show up in Facebook prefaced by my first name. I trust people to delete the name in their heads. And Facebook is more conversational—two-way conversation—than a blog. It's like mingling at a party vs. giving a lecture.

[Orange]

P.S. Came here via the link in Nancy's tweet.

[Naomi]

What does it mean that FB owns everything in perpetuity? Are they going to profit from my inane cleverness? Charge me royalties to look at pictures of my kids? Whatever. That yucks me out.

I agree with you entirely about all the extras on FB; I ignore all that foolishness and concentrate on coming up with clever status updates. (I know, I know, I should really join Twitter.)

As you know, I'm a big fan of facebook, being too lazy to blog as diligently as you do. Of course if I cut out facebook, I'd have much more time to blog!

You make good points, as always, Karen.

[Karen]

Orange: I agree that most blogs (including this one) aren't very conversational, but I prefer the "conversations" I have on Twitter to those I have on FB - although that's probably because I'm not looking for new ways to have conversations with people I already know. You mention that most people who know you aren't on Twitter, and that's the same for me! I like the conversations I have on Twitter, in part because they include many people I don't interact with in real life or via my blog.

[Karen]

Naomi: Well, for one thing, it means that they could, if they wanted to, use a photo of your kids in a magazine ad for Facebook. Ick.

Come over to Twitter. Come to the light.

[Karen]

I think what it comes down to is that people who enjoy FB are looking for a way to stay in touch with people they already know in real life. One of the things I like best about Twitter is that it allows me to develop relationships with new people I'd never have met otherwise.

[TwoBusy]

When was the delightful part? I think I missed that.

[Karen]

TwoBusy: :-P (Sticking my tongue out only because I don't know the emoticon for giving you the finger.)

[Margaret]

As far as I'm concerned, it's the old saying of comparing apples and oranges. I enjoy blogs because they're like journals--but they're not set up to be social networking tools like Facebook. They both meet different needs and people gravitate to one or the other(or both) depending on what they want to do. Others prefer twitter; although I've not yet tried it, I'm getting a lot pressure to do so. (which makes me want to resist!)And the joy of Facebook for me is rediscovering college friends, former students, ex-colleagues, etc...That never happens on my blog!

[Tonya]

Karen, I totally agree. "Facebook, I'm just not that into you."

[Karen]

Margaret: I agree that blogs and FB are different animals, but the combination of my blog (for posting photos, links, etc.) and Twitter (for mini-updates) accomplishes everything I would need FB for -- everything EXCEPT connecting with people from my past. As I said in my post, that is definitely the biggest draw of FB.

[Vicki]

Thank you - You described my feelings so succinctly. "For anyone with both a blog and a Twitter account (like me), Facebook doesn't offer anything extra." I don't want to play games, write on walls, or send virtual snowballs (?). I am already connected to the people from my past to whom I want to be connected. If that connection is the biggest draw of FB,. then FB doesn't offer me anything I want or need.

(p.s. I had a FB account. I tried it for a bit. I turned it off. The more I hear of people being "Found" by old HS or College classmates, the happier I am to be Not on FB.)

[Vicki]

I like this quote from Ivor Tossell, Globe & Mail (Dec 25, 2008)

Facebook is about people you used to know; Twitter is about people you'd like to know better.

[steve]

I had to delete my Facebook account because the environment was creating too much stress for me. I had one friend (who was really a friend of a friend) who didn't seem to know how to update her status properly.

Rather than a third-person statement about what she was doing/thinking/hoping, etc..., she would post something like "Trish is... What's up with those new Pepsi commercials?!?"

I had finally had it one day and commented with "That's your status? That doesn't even make f*cking sense!" and then I deleted her as a friend.

After that virtual outburst, I thought it best to simply resign from the venue.

And what the hell was I supposed to do with 113 virtual snow balls? Jeesh...

[Susan]

I like facebook for the contact with friends. Friends I could email but don't so a nice note back and forth is fun. Most of my friends don't use twitter and I use twitter more for updates and perk information from companies. I have also gotten in touch with people I haven't heard from in years which is great.

As far as Scrabble. I don't play with strangers - I play with my daughter. And we just take turns when we have time. Very fun.

And I like Word Challenge and Biggest Brain Again, I don't usually challenge anyone, just play for my own enjoyment.

[Glen Turpin]

Karen, you've identified all the things that I hate about Facebook that I didn't include in my blog post about the subject (http://www.glenturpin.com/2008/12/why-i-hate-facebook/).

The new TOS are yet another reason to dislike Facebook, but if I drop all the privacy rants the fundamental issue for me is your point #1. Facebook is best at helping reinforce connections with people you already know. Twitter lets you find interesting people you don't know yet, and, as you point out, you can enjoy what they have to say without "friending."

[Gail]

I have (unintentionally) devised the ultimate test. Which platform would you rather go to on a REALLY bad day? I belong to both Facebook and Twitter. My Facebook friends list is comprised of people I went to high school and college with... in short, those people with which I really haven't bothered to keep in touch. My Twitter friends are (I hate to be overly, I don't know,...familiar) people I CHOOSE to hang out with NOW. I had a really bad day today. Which social network did I log on to? Twitter. Those people just get me. Not the me I was 20 years ago, but me... now. Facebook and its "25 Things About Me" is just a big bragfest. I don't want to talk about a shitty day on Facebook.

[Laura]

Well, I did not know you were on Facebook and I'll be "friending" you when I'm done here. I'm new to this blogging thing and I don't understand RSS feeds. I tried to subscribe to one, but I dont' think anything happened. I don't like Facebook as much as MySpace. Too many places to look for things people say or post. I get lost. But I'm on it a lot because so many people I know (and have recently gotten in touch with) are on it. I have not doen Twitter. I think I stopped in once but didn't get it. Maybe I'll try it again. maybe it is too fast for me, lol.

[Florinda]

Boy, am I behind on things - I totally missed this post two weeks ago, so thanks for linking to it in your Twitter post (which I will be linking to in a post on a related topic).

I'm on Facebook, but I'm never on Facebook, if that makes sense. Like you, I have a blog and I'm on (and off) Twitter, and they meet most of my online social needs perfectly well. More of the people I know from off-line are on Facebook, but I'm keeping up with them in other ways anyway. I've just found Facebook to be a time sink, and for me, blogging and Twitter aren't. There's only so much time in the day to be online, and I'm just not spending mine there.

My point (at last) is that my views on FB are pretty similar to yours. Meh.

[Laura K.]

The ONLY reason I joined Facebook was to connect to grammar school friends. I am baffled as to why there are links connecting friends from high school and college and grammar school is just not an option. I've attempted to try without the advantage of a link and I located THREE people... that's about 3% of the alumni class. What's the point...