Cash for Clunkers

Tonight on Twitter (yes, during the Sox's rout of the Yanks, 14-1!), PublishingSpy said this: 

If publishers offered cash for clunkers, what books would you trade in?

My first response was this:

I still want that hour back for "Bridges of Madison County" back in the '90s. <shudder>

Velma chimed in with "Anything by Dan Brown, to begin with," and then Laura with "That Old Cape Magic, by Richard Russo. Usually one of my favorite authors, but this was a stinker!" which made me sad because I love Russo and was looking forward to his latest.

How about you? What book do you wish you could trade in for the time you wasted reading it?

Comments

[Margaret]

The Portrait of the Artist as a young man by James Joyce. I had to read it in college and it was DREARY. Also Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult.(for Book Club) I hated that book. I totally agree with your Dan Brown aversion, Velma. A clerk at Borders Books asked me if I wanted to be put on the reserve list for his new novel and that person got quite an earful. I've never read Bridges of Madison County. And I admit that although I "diss" it, I've never read the Twilight series; I couldn't even get through the first page!

[Elena]

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks (and that goes DOUBLE for the movie). Peh. Also, The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett, the most overrated book of our time.

[JP]

"The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay", although I did get some good sleep out of it before I moved on to something good.

"A Tour of the Calculus" proved to be a tour of boring stuff I already knew about the calculus, plus flowery writing unbecoming of a mathematician.

[Naomi]

Madison County for sure. Humboldt's Gift. Friday Night Knitting Club (uggh, trapped at the beach without a decent bookstore for several zip codes). And I hate to admit it, but I didn't like Remains of the Day. (Let the pointing and laughing begin...)

[Mark]

I'm more than half-way through the new Russo, and I'm liking it. A bit of a Richard Ford feel to it, which is great since he's one of my favorites too.

I'd trade in the first Harry Potter book. My son begged me to read it. Eh. It didn't make me want to read any more of them, that's for sure.

[Nancy]

Tuesdays with Morrie. I plowed through it, but I'm not proud of myself.

Then there are all the "motivational" business books I've felt obliged to dip into. So many trees died in vain!

And you know how I feel about the 250 pages of Infinite Jest I read before abandoning ship...

[B.O.B.(bob)]

War and Peace, hands down. Parts were good but lord that man needed an editor. Forced myself to finish by saying. this is supposed to be the best novel of all time, this is supposed to be the best novel of all time, ad. infinitum.

[Dona]

Surprisingly Pat Conroy's new book "South of Broad" is a dud. A good editor could have saved it. Nan Talese...not so much.

[margalit]

Beloved by Toni Morrison. Hated it with such a passion that I gave it away to someone at work with an interweb company add begging someone to take it. And Bridges would be up there with Toni,

[Nancy]

@Margalit: I'm so glad to learn that I'm not the only who be-hated Beloved.

[Jonathan]

Any of the modern, turgid, pot boiling "thrillers" written by folks like Dan Brown, James Patterson, or, worst of all, John Grisham. My mother-in-law and her sister keep pawning them off on me and I read them to be a good son-in-law, but I hate every minute of it. Wooden dialog, hyperbolic description and ridiculous plots abound.

[Stephanie]

Definitely anything by Dan Brown, "The Wise Woman" by Philippa Gregory, whom I normally adore. I'm sure there are more but that's what comes to mind.