Fat

It has come to my attention that, once again, I forgot to blog yesterday. So that means August 6 and April 13 are days that will go down in history as Verbatim-less. (I briefly considered hanging on to the coattails of Twitter, Facebook, Blogger, and all the other major sites hit by the DDoS attack yesterday but was fairly certain no one would believe me.) Anyhow, faithful reader Elena has suggested that an additional post today would make everyone feel better, so here goes.

Last night at dinner Pete was trying to demonstrate his "six-pack" abs—I didn't laugh, but honestly, you could count that kid's ribs right through the skin and muscle; he's like a stick of spaghetti. Out of nowhere Julie said something about having fat on her stomach. Andy and I turned to her, incredulous. For one thing, if there is any way to describe her other than "absolutely perfect," it would be "ever-so-slightly underweight." In the last year, she grew a lot in height but not quite as quickly in weight, so she's above the "average" curve on height and below it on weight. But only slightly; really, she has such an ideal size and shape I sometimes can't keep my eyes off her. Her proportions are just magnificent. So "fat" is hardly a word I'd use to describe her. But moreover, Andy and I don't use that word at all (short of talking about a "big, fat pumpkin" or something like that). We talk a lot about being healthy and strong, but never about weight.

We make a conscious effort not to talk about weight and fatness around the kids, but it's not a hard thing for us to remember, because we wouldn't normally be talking like that anyhow. Neither of us is overweight (well, not by more than a few pounds here or there in any given month), and we are both hyper-aware of the overemphasis on weight and appearance in the media, particularly for young girls.

So somewhere (from a camp friend, perhaps?) Julie got this idea that she is fat—or, as she put it, that she has fat. We assured her that she is exactly the right size and shape, that she is healthy and strong, that the pediatrician even says so every year. Then we talked about how you have to have fat to live, including in your food. She said, "Really?" and we told her that you would die if you didn't eat any fat. We reminded her about how we're always saying that you need to eat everything, just certain things in moderation. We said that you'd get sick if you ate nothing but protein, and you'd get sick if you never ate protein. Or fat. Or anything, even salt and sugar.

It was not a long conversation, and we certainly didn't dwell on it. It was not at all a "big deal" to her, just an offhand comment, so we didn't want to make it seem like one to us either. A minute or two of "You're not fat. Everyone needs fat on their bodies. Everyone needs to eat food with fat in it...." and that was that.

By coincidence, today when I was catching up on recent NPR podcasts while waiting in line at day camp pickup, I happened to hear an interesting story about how certain foods that everyone knows are nutritious are actually much better for you if eaten with fat. For instance:

Tomatoes are certainly nutritious — a good source of the antioxidants lycopene and beta-carotene. But consider this: if you eat a tomato without adding a little fat — say a drizzle of olive oil — your body is unlikely to absorb all these nutrients.

So it's better to have regular old oil and vinegar on your salad instead of fat-free dressing, and better to have a dollop of mayo on your tomato sandwich instead of going without. I'm never one to shy away from adding fat, so it was nice to hear that I'm enhancing the nutrients as well as the flavor!

Comments

[Margaret]

Girls are so conscious of their bodies and how society views them.It's scary! Our younger daughter gained the freshman 15 at college,but came home determined to lose some of it--although I hadn't said a word. Shopping for clothes in the spring and having to get 6s instead of 2s or 4s was pretty telling.

[Tonya]

YES! *Some* fat is necessary. I've discovered that not much does the trick, but it's hard to cook anything without SOME. It can be very hard on the kidneys to have little-to-none. (As well as the digestive system, I would think). Still...that balance can be tricky, especially when a person loves cheese as much as I do.

[Elena]

Yay! I can eat my turkey-and-tomato sandwich with a hint of mayo guilt-free! Now can you help me rationalize having ice cream once or twice a week? I'm thinking that we all need dairy products...

[nina]

Elena, you eat ice cream because it brings you joy, also an important nutritional element.

Karen, you guys handled that beautifully.

[Wendy]

I admire folks who bring up girls with halfway decent body images in the world today. The pressures are just immense, and I think you all said the right things. A little mayo and cream and -- above all -- *butter* make us happy -- what's good for Julia Child is good for most of us.