Such a Loss

Remember last week when I was thinking about cancer? I was imagining how, as a parent, I could possibly explain it to my kids—and then somehow cope with a long, protracted illness. What I wasn't thinking about at all was one of those sudden, here-one-minute, gone-the-next things. Which is what happened to a dad here in our neighborhood. He died from an aneurysm over the weekend. One minute he's playing with his seven-year-old twins (one of whom is in Julie's class at school), and the next he's unconscious.

Our community here is in shock. He was a beloved neighbor, friend, coach, and doctor, and it's still just unthinkable that he's gone. The principal and school psychologist spoke to all the kids in grades 1–3 about what happened, and they've made counseling resources available to anyone who might need them. There's no shortage of people signing up at the Lotsa Helping Hands site, but what can we really do besides bring over groceries and meals, walk the dog, take the kids for playdates?

I told Julie that an aneurysm is such a rare thing that this is the first person I've ever known who had one, but the more people I speak to, the more I realize that I'm very lucky. Everyone else seems to know at least one other person who had one—nearly all of whom died. I'm usually a very good worrier, but this one has put me over the edge.

Comments

[Naomi]

It's awful, isn't it? I'm shaken to the core, too. Thanks for the helping hands link. I was wondering about that.

[Margaret]

Both my uncle and aunt died of aneurysms within a year of each other; they were youngish (in their 60s) so it was a shock. How awful for your community to deal with this! Thinking of you.

[Karen]

From what I've heard, it's much more common among the young, particularly women in their 30s. This man who died was 42.

[Tonya]

I have personally known of two people who suddenly died from aneurysms, one who collapsed at the checkout stand at the grocery store. It's devastating for the survivors because there is no "goodbye," no warning, no anything! And I'm not sure that there is anything any of us could know what do to prevent them!

[Tonya]

The two I knew were in their late 50s, early 60s.

[Kathy]

a friend from college's husband died a few months ago - he died of cancer, so there was a "goodbye" of sorts, but she has some great thigs to say about what you can do to help the grieving - here is her blog http://artnagle.blogspot.com/
She has 3 kids too and her blog is very honest about what she is going through. I can't vene imagine....

[Elena]

There was a girl in my high school who died of an aneurysm. Very shocking & sad.

[sharon]

Wow. It reminds you how precious life is. Enjoy the people around you every minute that you can.