Forms of Address

I had planned to send all the Bat Mitzvah invitations out today but ran into a partially predicted snag: The only 61¢ stamps currently available from the USPS are wedding cakes and Richard Wright, neither of which is exactly right for this occasion. So I did what I swore I wouldn't do: went to Zazzle.com and ordered monogrammed stamps for more than the cost of postage—and paid extra for two-day shipping! Gah! I got the smallest, least fancy ones I could, but still. And because of that delay, I still haven't bothered printing out the address labels or stuffing the envelopes yet.

Speaking of which, my Invitation Lady gave me some photocopies from an etiquette manual that tells how you're supposed to address the envelopes. For instance:

Invitations to girls under age eighteen should be address Miss Jane Smith. For ages eighteen and over, Ms. is preferred. Boys under age nine are Master. Between ages nine and seventeen, no title is used. At eighteen, Mr. is used.

I'm glad I'm not inviting any nine-year-old boys, because I think I would die laughing if I had to address them as Master.

Other interesting "rules":

For same-sex couples, if you know both partners equally well, their names should be written in alphabetical order on two separate lines. If you know only one person well, list that person's name first.

Divorcées can be Ms. Jane Green (maiden name) or Mrs. Jane Green (married name). In the past, widows were addressed as Mrs. John Smith, but today Mrs. Mary Smith is acceptable.

I got a few other clever tips from my Invitation Lady:

1. Number the guest list, and then write the corresponding numbers in tiny print on the back of the reply cards. That way if you get one back that doesn't have a name on it, you'll know whose it is.

2. Use a glue stick (not your tongue or a sponge) to seal the envelopes.

3. Ask at the Post Office if you can hand-cancel the envelopes. They'll look prettier without that tire-tread mark all over the front, and it's one less machine they have to get through safely.

Comments

[Elena]

I thought that you only address a woman as "Mrs. Mary Smith" if she is a widow. Have I been wrong about that all along??

[Margaret]

I love all this etiquette stuff, but don't follow it as much as I should! I would love to see a photo of the invitation, and even the stamp. I am a curious person!!

[Susan]

I can remember my grandmother sending letters to my little brother addressed to Master John Bunyan. So cute! But that was a long, long time ago.

[Sharon]

My sons are 8 and 4 and I have an aunt who addresses them as Master on cards that she sends. They always crack up when they receive them.

[Kerri]

"1. Number the guest list, and then write the corresponding numbers in tiny print on the back of the reply cards. That way if you get one back that doesn't have a name on it, you'll know whose it is."

This is sheer genius! Thanks, Invitation Lady!

[Alissa]

61 cents is great - mine were $1.05 and the 5 cent stamps were so ugly.

Don't forget, you also have to spell out the address numbers if it's under 100... Fourteen Main Street, etc.

I addressed some 12-year-old boys as Master - hope they weren't offended!

Good luck with everything - it's such fun getting the responses back!!

[Wendy]

Why not a sponge? Just because the invitation might get soggy?

[Karen]

Alissa, I avoided a lot of weight by not having inner envelopes, not having lined envelopes, and having only 2 "layers" on the invitation.

I'm only spelling out house numbers if they're under 10.

[Kerri]

Way to stick with the style book, Karen! :-)

[Katy]

Please post more tips! We're planning a wedding on somewhat short notice and these ideas are enormously helpful!!!