Pahk My Cah—Please!

For someone who hates shopping, I've been doing an awful lot of it lately (but I'm nearly done, yee-ha!). Don't get me wrong, I'm a damn good shopper—I just don't get pleasure out of it anymore. Was a time I'd go to the mall on my lunch hour from work just to poke around. (Yes, ME!) Now it's a dreaded chore that I put off as long as possible—indefinitely, even, if Amazon has what I want.

One thing that I no longer have any patience for is parking. Driving around and around and around looking for a parking spot makes my blood pressure spike dangerously. And, regardless of what the latest sales figures suggest, people are still heading to malls in droves (they're apparently just not buying anything). Normally I don't mind parking a little ways from the entrance—so I'll walk a little, and my car is less likely to get banged into. But if the weather's bad and/or I'm in a hurry, I do that stupid drive-around-and-around-and-around thing. I follow people leaving the mall, hoping to snag their spot before someone else does. I hover, vulture-like, until so many cars are lined up behind me I can't bear the pressure anymore and I drive off. Why isn't he pulling out? Why can't she talk on the phone after she leaves her spot? What is wrong with these people?

You know that thing where you see a spot and you don't know whether to take it because there might be a better one up ahead? And then the one up ahead turns out to have a VW Bug or a Smart Car in it, and then you missed your chance at the other one?

How about the joy of a pull-through? Great, until you come out of Costco and find that someone pulled in right behind you, so close in fact that you can't open your minivan hatchback to unload all your unboxed, unbagged warehouse-sized items.

'Tis the season.

Comments

[Elena]

I was at Talbot's the other day (also against my will)and the saleswoman commented that I had picked a good day to shop because the store was empty. She was crestfallen when I told her that the mall parking lot was quite full. "Then where is everyone?", she asked. Where, indeed?

[Susan]

One nice thing about Las Vegas is the free valet parking. So on those days you just let someone else pahk the cah and give them a couple dollars when you pick it up.

[Steve]

I typically park at the back or near-back of any lot. I'd much rather walk a bit than drive around. It drives me crazy when Cliff is driving and chooses to drive in that insane lane between the parking lot and the store - you know - the one with all the pedestrians?

[Sharon]

I avoid the mall like the plague. My blood pressure was rising just reading that.