The Ceremony*

*aka Part 1 of the Bat Mitzvah recap

When planning for a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, there are certain things that are completely out of one's control. You can think through everything to the last detail, but in the end, there will or there won't be a snowstorm, there will or there won't be a stomach bug whipping through the family, and so on. Also on this list is your kid. Your thirteen-year-old, hormone-infused, moody, half-dependent/half-independent, half-baby/half-adult, unpredictable kid. As I described way back at the beginning of this journey, our rabbi assured us that every kid will be ready to chant from the Torah—that this is not something to add to the list of worries. But you know me, I worry.

Over the last 8 months or so, Steph has studied and practiced, perhaps not always as conscientiously or as enthusiastically as we might have hoped, but she did it. When I listened in on her tutoring sessions, I heard her dutifully chanting, not always with all that much feeling, but with a certain attention to accuracy and correct pronunciation. Same with her D'var Torah: She wrote it and rehearsed it, but there wasn't much there there.

Fast-forward to yesterday.

My kid blew me away.

 

Steph was poised, self-assured, joyous, and confident. But wait! She also has a lovely singing voice! Who knew? Not me, that's for sure. But mostly, I was struck speechless by her presence on the bimah. She absolutely embraced her role and her responsibility in a way that I could not have predicted. I need a word much stronger than "proud" to describe what filled my heart to overflowing (and caused me to weep almost nonstop from the beginning of the service to the end).

Somehow I managed to hold it together in order to do my aliyah with Andy. This was a tremendous honor and privilege. And every time I looked up into the congregation, I saw the face of yet another friend or family member who had joined to celebrate with us. Then, when it came time for us to read our little speech, or blessing, for Steph, I surprised myself by not crying at all, unlike every single time I practiced at home and was reduced to a blubbering mass by the end. (And for those of you who assume that we can all just naturally rise to such an occasion, let me remind you that I didn't hear a word of my own wedding ceremony because I was crying so hard.)

And then, before I knew it, we were all clapping and singing "Simin Tov and Mazel Tov," and I was floating out of the sanctuary on a cloud. I almost forgot that I still had a wonderful party ahead of me! Stay tuned....

Comments

[Margaret]

I'm glad it went so well! What wonderful memories for the whole family, but especially for Steph, knowing that she did such a lovely job.

[califmom]

My heart is full for Steph and for you!

[Cathy]

I'm loving reading all about this.

[Susan]

Mazel Tov

[Kathleen Kammer Hake]

So wonderful! I cried all the way through your post. How great for Steph and your family to have such an amazing and affirming day!

[Wendy]

I am so glad it went so well. One down, two to go.

[Cheryl]

Mazel tov! It's been great reading about this journey, as we're still a few years away from our own. Congratulations to both you and Steph.

[Naomi]

Mazel tov, Karen! Mazel tov to your whole family! What a wonderful occasion... I'm so glad you wrote about it because I'd been thinking of you all weekend and hoping everything would go just perfectly. It sounds like it was even better than perfect! Mazel tov!

[Sandy]

Aha! You answered my unspoken question...about the waterworks! I cried through your posts and wondered how/whether you made it through yourself! It all sounds so wonderful.