verbatim

Camp—and Avoidance of Drama!

Today we dropped off Steph at camp, an adventure that always includes visiting my graffiti-scrawled name on the uppermost ceiling rafter of every cabin (higher than everyone else's, of course), along with the year and the name of whatever boyfriend I was in "love" with at that point. We also visited Julie's friend as she settled in to her cabin. Julie is very eager to go to camp but recognizes that she's not yet ready to sleep away from home. (She has had only one successful overnight so far.) She would love every minute of the day and evening, but then she would get sad at bedtime. Maybe next year! As for Pete, he has no interest whatsoever.

On the ride up, I told my usual camp stories, including Steph's favorite: When I was 12, there was a new girl, whose name I remember—and always reveal when I tell the story—but won't give here in case she's Googling herself. She was the most unappealing girl imaginable: overweight, loud, smelly, frizzy hair, zitty face, Coke-bottle glasses, braces, and so on. No one liked her, but some of the other girls were downright mean to her. They put sand in her bed, whispered and giggled at her, taunted her, etc. One day the counselors called me aside and told me they wanted to talk about her. M—, they said, was obviously having a terrible time at camp and was very sad because she hadn't made any friends. At this point I piped up with something like, "Oh man [This was the '70s after all!], are you going to make me be friends with her?!" They said, "No. We just wanted to say that M— named you as one of the only girls who is never mean to her. We just wanted to thank you for being kind to her. You have made the last couple of weeks bearable for her."

Obviously I never forgot this story. I tell my kids in all situations, "You don't have to become friends with everyone, but you do have to be kind to everyone." I also tell Steph to stay as far away as possible from the drama queens (and with teenage girls, there are more every year) and their all-encompassing dramas that end up pitting one girl against another whether they're really involved in the drama or not. Steph is not a drama queen in the least, but I can totally imagine her getting sucked into that stuff if she's not careful.

Ah ... Fresh!

Those who've been reading Verbatim for a while know that I haven't always had the best experience with appliances (and if that isn't an understatement, then...). Long-time readers know better than to even utter the M-word in my presence. One of the many problems I had with that washing machine was that it smelled. Bad. I tried everything I could think of, but it still stink-stank-stunk. Finally it (and its partner in crime, the dryer) died and I replaced them with my wonderful new front-loading Whirlpool Duet pair. So far these machines work great.

I had been warned that with a front-loading washer, you need to leave the door ajar whenever you're not using it, because moisture can collect in the rubber gasket in front, which can end up getting smelly. So we do, and it doesn't. Still, I was intrigued when Mom Central offered me the opportunity to try out a product invented by Whirlpool specifically to combat washer stinkiness: Affresh "Power Puck" tablets. They look like giant Sweet Tarts, and you simply plop one into the washer once a month to keep it fresh and lovely. My washer has a specific cycle for this (look in the bottom right):

If yours doesn't, you just run one through on a regular hot cycle. It gets all sudsy and cleans the gasket as well as the area where the detergent goes and everywhere else in there that you can't see (but could potentially smell).

My only hesitation about using this product was that it would leave an artificial or chemical-y scent, but it did not. After I ran the cycle, it just smelled clean, with perhaps a tiny hint of citrus, but certainly nothing overpowering. I definitely plan to use Affresh once a month, because let me tell you from experience, having a smelly washer just stinks.

I wrote this review while participating in a campaign by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of Affresh and received product samples and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. I Turn My Camera On - Spoon
2. Pretty World - Sam Baker
3. Leftovers (live) - Johnny Flynn
4. Union Maid - Old Crow Medicine Show
5. Silver & Gold - Joe Strummer & The Mescalaros
6. James (live) - Huffamoose
7. The Blind Child - Levon Helm
8. Windfall (live) -  Son Volt
9. Her First Mistake - Lyle Lovett
10. I Am The Light Of The World - Jorma Kaukonen

No More Pencils, No More Books

As of this afternoon, I am now the proud parent of a fourth grader, a seventh grader, and a ninth grader. Ninth grader, you say? Does that mean a high schooler? Gasp, yes. Steph's middle school "moving on" ceremony was this morning. Meanwhile, I had been telling her for years (amid much wailing and gnashing of teeth) that she couldn't join Facebook until she was in high school. We came home from graduation this morning and she made a beeline for the computer. I guess I thought it wouldn't happen until September.... Sigh.

I still haven't seen Pete. He and his friends went out for burritos after school got out, then ended up at one house or another, and now he's sleeping at someone else's house. I was asked to drop off a sleeping bag and change of clothing, but he was at that moment at yet another house, so I still didn't get to hug him.

Julie, on the other hand, is still Julie. Phew.

Linkalicious

I'm always saving links to interesting or funny things for youse guys, and then weeks and weeks go by, and I decide that it's too late and you've all seen them already. But here are a few I've continued to hang on to:

• You must watch this awesome music video, "Whole Foods Parking Lot" (via Diane).
• "A Visual Exploration of the Filmography of James O. Incandenza and the World of David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest"—yes, including a link to where you can buy the greatest T-shirt I've ever seen:(via Nancy)
• Look! The graphic design majors at CalPoly Pomona decorated their mortarboards with oversized Pantone chips!
• Photos of "Awesome People Hanging Out Together"—you know, like Charlie Chaplin and Helen Keller; or Stephen Hawking and Nelson Mandela; Norman Mailer arm wrestling Muhammad Ali; you get the idea. Some amazing stuff here.
• How many of these celebrity high school yearbook photos can you identify? Andy did shockingly well—me, not so much.... Scroll slowly so you can try to guess before you see the names.
• I like the painted hands in these AT&T ads.
• Clever video: "Trapped in an iPhone"
• These photos just blew me away. People took their old snapshots and lined them up with the scene as it exists now. Wow. Here's a similar project, also way cool.

And you—have you seen anything of interest lately? Let me know in the comments.

Toward Work-Life Balance

I have a love-hate relationship with self-help books, videos, and websites. On the one hand, I really do believe that (barring trauma and extreme situations) people can be guided toward the changes they need to make in their lives to be happier and more fulfilled. On the other hand, I find all too many of these self-help products to be at best sappy and at worst misleading.

So it was with great curiosity and slight trepidation that I agreed to try out the 30 Days To Sanity online course, created by Stephanie Marston, the guru of work-life balance. Well, I'm delighted to say that I really enjoyed it—and got a lot out of it!

This program is aimed at anyone who is feeling the pull between work life and home life. You know, those of us who have been known to complain, "There's never enough time in the day! I'm stressed out! I never get any 'me' time!" and the like. In my case, I've chosen to work at home so that I can be around for my school-age kids, but that presents its own set of challenges, because it sometimes feels as if I'm always at work! That is, I don't get to leave the office and drive home for the evening, so I end up working too many evenings (and weekends). Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that I'm able to volunteer at the school library and go on field trips and drive the kids to their after-school activities (then make up the lost time in the evening), but sometimes I wish my home office wasn't so darn handy to wander into and try to "get a little more done."

The program is self-paced and varied—there are essays to read, presentations to watch, exercises and assessments to complete, activities to click on. You can do as much or as little as you want at one time and then return to finish up. All your work is saved to a personal journal, which you can print out. I found it really interesting and fun! And even cynical me, who normally rolls my eyes at "inspirational" quotations, found several worth printing out!

I was particularly interested in the section about saying NO to things you don't want to do. I have a terrible time saying NO. When I'm offered an editorial project that I don't really have time for or don't have any interest in, I often take it on anyhow. Then, of course, I'm frazzled and bored silly. And I have to run in the other direction at school whenever I see someone from the PTO approaching, because I have so many times ended up "being volunteered" to do something I don't want to do. It may sound obvious, but I had a true "aha! moment" when Stephanie Marston pointed out that every time I say YES to something I don't want to do, I'm saying NO to myself! I can't stand the idea of disappointing someone, so I choose to disappoint myself instead! I am always at the bottom of the priority list.

I'm happy to report that I learned techniques for saying NO, exercises for getting my priorities straight (these are divided into Self, Family/Friends, and Career), strategies for choosing what things are important for me to do (and which to let go or delegate), and guidelines for setting realistic goals for getting more "me" time back—as well as more quality family time and couple time.

In addition to the online course, the 30 Days to Sanity website also has sections I haven't explored yet, offering meditation exercises, stress-management tips, and parenting resources. I can honestly say that I was pleasantly surprised at how much I got out of this program, both in terms of enjoyment and in what I took away. I really recommend it.

I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of the 30 Days to Sanity Campaign and received access to the webinar and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.

Old Movies

I haven't seen a movie in a while—and, if you can believe it, I still haven't watched one on my iPad! It should be taken away from me, I know it. But I did see a few movies a while back that I haven't reported on, so here goes:

1. I took the kids to see Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules when it first came out. I liked the original movie better than this sequel (I pretty much always do), although this was still very enjoyable, especially for a kids' movie. It was much better than nearly all of the non-Pixar animated stuff that comes out.

2. Speaking of which, we also saw another sequel, Kung Fu Panda 2 in 3D. You may recall that I was surprised at how much I enjoyed the first one; unfortunately, I thought this one was considerably inferior. The kids did not agree, and even Andy thought it was pretty good. I laughed exactly once. And the 3D was a complete waste, in my not-so-humble opinion.

3. On the plane home from London, I watched Secretariat, which Andy had watched on the plane to London while I pretended I'd be able to sleep. It's of course a terrific story, although because it's such a familiar one, there was no mystery about how it would end up. Would Secretariat really win the Triple Crown, setting still-standing records in two of the races? Um, yeah. But I knew nothing of the back story, and it was very interesting. Diane Lane is as lovely as ever; she still can't act her way out of a paper bag, but this role wasn't a terribly heavy lift. And John Malkovich was busy playing John Malkovich playing someone else, as usual. All in all, this was a perfectly good movie and made 2 of those 6 inflight hours go by pretty painlessly.

Duck!

Mark Bittman said, "If I were you and could get my hands on duck legs, I would make this dish as soon as I had the time—it's that good." So I did. Luckily, I live near John Dewar, purveyor of fine meats and other gourmet delicacies. This dish was absolutely delicious, delivering on Bittman's promise: "The result is crackling skin covering sublimely soft meat." Now I will urge you to make it. We served it with brown rice pilaf, which was a nice counterpoint to the very rich meat and veggies. (No, we did not share this one with the kids.) Update 10/29/20: Here's a photo!

Crisp-Braised Duck Legs with Aromatic Vegetables

4 duck legs, trimmed of excess fat
1 large onion
1/2 pound carrots
3 celery stalks
2 cups chicken stock

1. Put duck legs, skin side down, in a skillet large enough to accommodate all ingredients comfortably; turn heat to medium. Heat oven to 400°. Brown duck legs carefully and evenly, sprinkling them with salt and pepper as they cook. Meanwhile, peel and dice vegetables.

2. When legs are nicely browned, turn them over and sear for just a minute or two. Remove to a plate; remove all but enough fat to moisten vegetables. Add vegetables to skillet along with some salt and pepper. Cook over medium-high heat, stirring occasionally, until they begin to brown, 10 to 15 minutes. Return duck legs to pan, skin side up, and add stock; it should come about halfway up duck legs but should not cover them. Turn heat to high, bring to a boil, and transfer to oven.

3. Cook for 30 minutes, then lower heat to 350°. Continue to cook, undisturbed, until duck is tender and liquid reduced, at least another half hour. The duck is done when a thin-bladed knife pierces the meat with little resistance. When done, duck will hold nicely in a warm oven for another hour. Serve hot.

Friday iPod Random Ten

1. I Still Miss SomeoneJohn Doe & The Sadies
2. I've Been to Memphis (live) - Lyle Lovett
3. Such A Night (live) - David Bromberg
4. Before You Accuse Me (live) - Eric Clapton
5. Angel From Montgomery (live) - Bonnie Raitt, Jackson Browne, Bruce Hornsby, & Bryan Adams 
6. Goin' To The Country (live) - Martin Sexton
7. Beyond My Wildest Dreams - Mark Knopfler & Emmylou Harris  
8. I Confess - English Beat
9. The Ballad Of Love And Hate - The Avett Brothers
10. Red Tide - Neko Case 

Almost Done

Spring is the time of year when parents of school-age kids are ready to tear their hair out. In addition to sports, music lessons, Hebrew school, and whatever else, there are suddenly all of these end-of-year events, like dress rehearsals and recitals and concerts and presentations. The good news is that every week, something has its final meeting, and one by one the afternoons and evenings free up. We are among the least over-scheduled families I know, and even we are feeling the pinch.

Hebrew school ended a few weeks ago, which freed up Wednesday evenings for Pete and Julie, and Sunday mornings for Julie. This is the last week of soccer for both of them, which will free up Monday and Thursday evenings for Pete and Friday evenings for Julie, and Saturday afternoons for both of them. Pete had his last drum lesson last week and his last sax lesson today (both on Tuesday). Julie has her last piano lesson this Thursday. She has two more weeks of dance (also Tuesday).

We've already had Steph's chorus concert and Pete's sax recital. The AIDS Walk was Sunday (it was great!). Julie's New England animals presentation is this Friday. Her recorder concert is Monday morning, and Pete's band concert is Monday evening. Julie's dance recital is a week from Saturday. Phew!

During the winter the school had a fundraiser for which the teachers all donated gifts of their time. Someone could enter to be principal for a day, or to do a special project with the art teacher, or even to go to a teacher's home to watch a movie and have popcorn. Julie entered to win a mini-golf outing with her teacher, and she won! Today was the day. She invited three pals, and I drove them to meet her teacher out at Monster Mini Golf, which is a way cool place! (We were going to do an outdoor course, but it was very hot out and the kids had already spent all morning outside for the school's Color Day.) We had a blast. Then we went to Friendly's for ice cream sundaes. It was quite a treat to hang with a beloved teacher outside of school.

Oh, and there's only 11 more days of school, but who's counting?

Road Trip!

Regular readers of Verbatim know that Andy and I are always leaving the kids home and jetting off somewhere exciting. Why, we just spent a night in Boston back in, um, May 2004! Right. And that was the one and only night we ever spent away from our kids. Until last week!

Back in February I bought tickets to see the Avett Brothers in Portland, Maine, although I wasn't quite sure how the logistics would play out. I just knew that I had to see them perform live already! So the concert was this past Thursday night, and (almost) everything went perfectly.

We were going to drive up early in the day, but Julie got a little sad that we wouldn't see her after school, so I said we'd pick her up from school at 3pm, wait for Steph and Pete to come home on the bus (usually about 3:20), and then leave. Of course, for the first time ever, Steph called at about 3:15 to say that the bus still hadn't left the school yet for some reason! So we continued to wait, and they ended up coming home about 3:35. No big deal. We said our goodbyes and hit the road. About an hour later, Andy's parents came by and picked them up and took them out to Bertucci's and JP Licks—lucky kids! Then they brought them back home and waited for my niece to arrive to sleep over. That all worked out perfectly, and she got them off to school Friday morning and headed on her way. Yay!

We, meanwhile, were on the Maine Turnpike about 20 minutes outside of Portland. We were hoping to check in to our inn and then grab a quick dinner before the show. But first ... we got a flat tire! And I mean flat:

I was driving this leg of the journey, and I'd never had a flat before, so at first I thought the steering wheel was wobbling because it was so windy out, but suddenly there was a horrendous noise, and I knew I had to pull over.

Despite my protestations, Andy was determined to change it. I was not happy about this because (1) he is still not terribly mobile, and (2) it was the left rear tire, and I'd pulled over to the right side of the highway, so I could only imagine him getting run over. As luck would have it, the lug nuts were on so tight that Andy couldn't even budge them, so he agreed to call AAA. (Why else do we pay for our membership every year if we're not going to call them for a flat tire on the highway?!)

So we sat on the side of the road waiting, and I called the inn and said we might be late for check-in. Then I got busy fretting that we'd miss the concert entirely. Finally the AAA guy arrived, and he was also unable to budge the lug nuts. He was about to call a tow truck, but Andy found a can of WD40 in the trunk and suggested he spray it on. Voilà! They loosened up, and in no time we had our "donut" spare on and were tooling down the highway at 50 mph, which was probably worse for Andy's blood pressure than even getting the flat in the first place.

As much as we would've liked to barrel into Portland on two wheels, we instead drove slowly and cautiously and made it to the Wild Iris Inn, a lovely little B&B that is the only certified "green" inn in Portland. We met Diane, the innkeeper, who gave us our key as we rushed in and out to get to the concert.

We walked over to the State Theatre and confirmed that they serve food before we surrendered our tickets and entered. It is an unbelievably cool concert venue, built in 1929 as a true theatre, so it still has all the fancy box-seats and ornate gold trim, but has been updated for modern concerts. There are still seats in the balcony and in the back of the main floor, but the rest of the place has been cleared for standing-room-only (total capacity, something like 1500). There are bars everywhere, and yes, food! That night there were various types of sliders, so we got some pork and some chicken and wolfed them down standing near a wall (how's that for a "quick dinner"?).

The opening act was John Oates. Yes, as in Hall & Oates. And I'm sorry to say that we did not enjoy it at all. The acoustics were lousy—his voice just sounded muddy and LOUD. And I really wouldn't have minded if I'd finished my life before having to hear "Maneater" done live. Peh.

Meanwhile, Andy and I scoped out where best to take in the show. On the one hand, I am short and thus needed to be NOT behind tall people. On the other hand, Andy needed to be able to lean on something rather than just stand all night long. We found a great spot way over to the side, where there was a railing to lean on, but we were on a slightly (1 foot, maybe) higher level than the people standing in front of us.

And then ... out came Seth and Scott Avett! With Joe Kwon on cello, Paul Defiglia subbing in for Bob Crawford on bass, and some unknown dude on drums. OMG!

The concert was amazing, just as I'd hoped. These guys do not do anything halfway. Their energy is unmatched, and they really just seem to care deeply about every song they do. I don't know any other way to explain it, but everything they do on stage is magic. For those who care about such things, here is the set list:

And It Spread
Paranoia in B-flat Major
Blue Ridge Mountain Blues (a Doc Watson tune)
Colorshow
Swept Away
When I Drink
Tin Man
January Wedding
Shame
Go to Sleep
I Killed Sally's Lover
The Ballad of Love and Hate
The Fall
Murder in the City
Head Full of Doubt/Road Full of Promises
Talk on Indolence
Kick Drum Heart (Scott on piano! Seth on guitar!)
I and Love and You
(Encore! Encore!)
Laundry Room
Down in the Valley to Pray (Scott and Seth singing a cappella, with their arms around each other—gorgeous!)

Wow, wow, wow, it was just awesome. I've been trolling YouTube for fan videos, and have come up with a few, but nothing too wonderful—most are really lousy quality. Those songs above that have a hyperlink will take you to one of the better videos, just in case you want to get a feel for it. I think the best-quality video is "When I Drink." (Oh, and if you're a fan of "The Ballad of Love and Hate," be sure to zip forward to about 3:30–yow!) The boys played all sorts of instruments, from piano to banjo to guitar to harmonica to kick-drum and high-hat, and sang, sang, sang! It was just awesome. I danced and sang and jumped and clapped throughout every song. It was a blast.

We were surrounded by lots of young drunk people who didn't seem to care that they were at a concert. I mean, did they really spend $39 for advance tickets (this show sold out within 4 days of the tickets going on sale) just to drink beer and chat with their friends? There was this one guy in front of us who was so trashed (swigging beer after beer and lighting up joint after joint) that I feared he would fall on us. And lots of people weren't even watching the show, which just bothered me. (Related note: I'm old!) Most of the crowd was there for the right reasons, and sang along with every song, but there was most definitely a party contingent who talked and sloshed throughout the whole show. Ah well.

Afterward, we had a drink at a cute little restaurant/bar called Boda, then headed back to our inn. The next morning we chatted with the owner (but not with that family from South Carolina, who clearly did not wish to chat) over a breakfast of granola, yogurt, cinnamon-raisin toast, coffee and tea, and fresh fruit. First stop on our romantic day off was Century Tire, where we purchased a new tire. We got great service, and quick, too. While we waited for it to be put on, we strolled around the Old Port area and poked our heads into little boutiques and cafés and such. Pretty.

Then we hit the road, stopping off in Kennebunkport for lunch at the Clam Shack, where we indulged in a clam roll (Andy) and lobster roll (me) with fries, eaten outside in the glorious sunshine. Wonderful! From there we headed home, just in time to pick up Julie from school at 3pm, less than 24 hours since we'd left.

So ... when's the next road trip?