I have a love-hate relationship with self-help books, videos, and websites. On the one hand, I really do believe that (barring trauma and extreme situations) people can be guided toward the changes they need to make in their lives to be happier and more fulfilled. On the other hand, I find all too many of these self-help products to be at best sappy and at worst misleading.
So it was with great curiosity and slight trepidation that I agreed to try out the 30 Days To Sanity online course, created by Stephanie Marston, the guru of work-life balance. Well, I'm delighted to say that I really enjoyed it—and got a lot out of it!
This program is aimed at anyone who is feeling the pull between work life and home life. You know, those of us who have been known to complain, "There's never enough time in the day! I'm stressed out! I never get any 'me' time!" and the like. In my case, I've chosen to work at home so that I can be around for my school-age kids, but that presents its own set of challenges, because it sometimes feels as if I'm always at work! That is, I don't get to leave the office and drive home for the evening, so I end up working too many evenings (and weekends). Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that I'm able to volunteer at the school library and go on field trips and drive the kids to their after-school activities (then make up the lost time in the evening), but sometimes I wish my home office wasn't so darn handy to wander into and try to "get a little more done."
The program is self-paced and varied—there are essays to read, presentations to watch, exercises and assessments to complete, activities to click on. You can do as much or as little as you want at one time and then return to finish up. All your work is saved to a personal journal, which you can print out. I found it really interesting and fun! And even cynical me, who normally rolls my eyes at "inspirational" quotations, found several worth printing out!
I was particularly interested in the section about saying NO to things you don't want to do. I have a terrible time saying NO. When I'm offered an editorial project that I don't really have time for or don't have any interest in, I often take it on anyhow. Then, of course, I'm frazzled and bored silly. And I have to run in the other direction at school whenever I see someone from the PTO approaching, because I have so many times ended up "being volunteered" to do something I don't want to do. It may sound obvious, but I had a true "aha! moment" when Stephanie Marston pointed out that every time I say YES to something I don't want to do, I'm saying NO to myself! I can't stand the idea of disappointing someone, so I choose to disappoint myself instead! I am always at the bottom of the priority list.
I'm happy to report that I learned techniques for saying NO, exercises for getting my priorities straight (these are divided into Self, Family/Friends, and Career), strategies for choosing what things are important for me to do (and which to let go or delegate), and guidelines for setting realistic goals for getting more "me" time back—as well as more quality family time and couple time.
In addition to the online course, the 30 Days to Sanity website also has sections I haven't explored yet, offering meditation exercises, stress-management tips, and parenting resources. I can honestly say that I was pleasantly surprised at how much I got out of this program, both in terms of enjoyment and in what I took away. I really recommend it.
I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour by Mom Central Consulting on behalf of the 30 Days to Sanity Campaign and received access to the webinar and a promotional item to thank me for taking the time to participate.
Ha, I'm going through a definite backlash against self help at the moment. I'd love someone to help me out - a cook, nanny, personal shopper etc would all me most welcome. I'd be great to just have some time to read and chill. Last year I was into NLP which puts you in the driving seat of your life... no excuses. Today I'm wafting around seeing where life takes me ;-)
Posted by: Fiona Cooper (@nlpmum) | June 21, 2011 at 09:31 AM