Black

Twice in December I totally shocked an African person by guessing what country he was from. The first time I was at the mall with Steph, which means that I was miserable and off-kilter. They have all these people manning kiosks in the middle of the walkway, and I am notoriously incapable of denying them my money. (I was once persuaded to buy a fancy-shmancy nail care kit. Yes, me. In other news, if you ever hear of someone who cares less about how her nails look, please let me know. Or, better yet, if you hear of someone who does care about her nails, I have a completely unused fancy-shmancy nail care kit to sell her. Real cheap.)

So when this handsome and charming man approached and asked if I wanted my hair straightened, I shouted, "No! I like my curls!" and when he asked whether I wanted even curlier curls, I shouted, "No! I like my curls exactly as curly as they are right now!" Then I turned defiantly to storm away and the next thing I knew Steph had one side of her hair perfectly straight and the other side perfectly curly and she was looking at me with a very dangerous, dreamy expression. So as I pulled out my wallet, I hissed at her, "This [the fancy-shmancy hair straightener and hair curler all in one) is not a Hanukkah present! It is too big for a Hanukkah present! It will be an early birthday present." The handsome and charming man said to me, as he swiped my VISA card, "Oh, you celebrate Hanukkah? I'm Jewish too!" He was black and had a hint of an African accent, so I took a guess and said, "Oh, you must be from Ethiopia!" at which point he just about dropped his magnificent white teeth.

I had detected an African lilt to his accent, and the only African Jews I've ever heard of are the Falasha Jews of Ethiopia, so I took a gamble. He was impressed. Then he pocketed my money.

A week later, on Christmas day, our TV died. It was a big ol' Sony Trinitron, which in its day cost about twice what a plasma-screen TV would cost now. Off we went to Best Buy, where we bought the largest flat-screen TV that would fit in our old-fashioned TV cabinet. Then we brought it home and found that we couldn't get it to work. We called Comcast, and they sent a guy over. Who was black and had an accent.

And who was also awesome. He worked so hard and for so long and finally figured out our problem. But then, when it was finally working, we noticed that the picture wasn't that great—certainly nothing like it was in the store—which he said was because it's an HD TV but we don't have HD cable service. So we signed up for that extra service and the picture looked gorgeous immediately. (And when our other big ol' Sony Trinitron in the basement dies, we will have to replace that one with a flat-screen TV—but I promised Pete a biggish one that hangs on the wall, because it will be in the basement where I won't have to see it—and subscribe to HD for that TV too. Such a scam.)

But anyway, we asked our Comcast guy for his name so we could call Comcast and say how awesome he was. He wrote it down, and it ended with "–bbe," so I thought of the Israeli rescue at Entebbe and said, "You must be from Uganda!" Again, bright white African teeth fell at my feet. I should have my own Jeopardy! category.

Speaking of black people from Africa, you may notice that I did not refer to either of these men as African American, because I don't know whether they are American. (If you saw a black person while you were on vacation in London or Paris or Toronto, you wouldn't refer to them as "African American," would you?) By the same token, I have known black Americans who don't refer to themselves as African Americans for various reasons. I used to work with a guy who could trace back through many generations of his family in the Bahamas, so he was more inclined to refer to himself as Bahamian than African, although Africa is likely where his ancestors originated. Indeed, Africa is likely where all of our ancestors originated, according to scientists and anthropologists.

My point being: A black person seen in America is not necessarily American, nor is he necessarily most interested in focusing on his African heritage. If you need to describe someone who is black (as in, "Officer, I saw the blue van go through the red light and hit both the black man on his bicycle and the white man who was walking his dog"), say that he is black, because that is something you know. You don't know if he is American or if he identifies as African.

Comments

[scott]

I'm also a huge fan of "black." Both using it as a descriptor of skin color and also the people who have it. :)

An old, old friend once got me into the habit. I used to call her my "Tahitian Treat." (Ahem.) But once when I referred to her as African American she said "black" is preferable.

Still, if someone prefers African American, they can say so--and then I'll do that for them.

[Karen]

Yep, I forgot to mention that part: Describe people as they would like to be described! But in the absence of knowing for sure, you're safest describing someone with black skin as black rather than as African-American. And I think you could possibly get punched for calling a stranger "My Tahitian Treat"! ;)

[Elena]

You have to subscribe to HD for each flat screen TV in your house? I think we just subscribe & it's HD on every HD-ready (?) TV we own.

[Steve]

It wasn't until I hired a guy from Nigeria that I even considered that there are multiple, distinct countries in Africa!

I have no doubt those guys really appreciated that an American had any conception of where they're from.

I've also found that some White Americans are "uncomfortable" referring to someone as Black - as though they will offend them. Living in Atlanta, which is 50% Black, has exposed me a to a lot about race in America.