Happy 21st Blogiversary to Verbatim! My blog can now buy alcohol or rent a car in all 50 states! Who'da thunk I'd still be here after all these years—and you, too! As always, thanks for stopping by to read and to comment. You're the reason I do it! (And it's no reflection on you that I blog so infrequently these days, really.)
While I'm here, I'll let you know that my mom died at the end of January—in fact, the day after I wrote my last post here. She was 92 and had a number of physical ailments as well as dementia, so it was definitely not "sudden." The end was not so great for her, so I've felt much more relief than grief. (This photo was taken on her 90th birthday, when she was still much more with it.)
Related to this news, last year I edited a book that is coming out next week. It's called The Good Death: A Guide for Supporting Your Loved One through the End of Life, written by hospice nurse Suzanne B. O’Brien. When I was working on it, my mother wasn't "actively dying" (that's an actual hospice term, which kind of took my breath away when it was used to apply to Mom at the end), but it was definitely right around the corner. This book discusses in a comprehensive but very compassionate and helpful way everything you need to know about end-of-life issues, from medical to legal/financial and everything in between. It also talks a lot about how we can all take steps now to ensure our own "good death," rather than wait until it's too late to make choices. When I accepted the project, I worried a bit that it would be really depressing, but it wasn't at all! In fact, it left me feeling empowered by all my newfound knowledge and much more comfortable with thinking and talking about death. I highly recommend it.
I'm sorry about your mom; no matter what the circumstances, it's difficult to say goodbye. Hospice for two family members (husband and father) gave me a lot of information about what to expect and demystified death as just another stage of our existence. It was comforting. My mom is 92 and failing although she doesn't have dementia at this point. It's sad to see such a vital person diminished by physical frailty.
Posted by: Margaret | March 08, 2025 at 08:34 PM
Oh, I'm sorry to hear it. It's never easy, but in some ways that's harder because your mom is aware of what's happening to her. My mom was not, although I was forever telling the aides at her facility about when she was young! They didn't know how smart and vibrant she had been.
Posted by: Karen | March 09, 2025 at 07:14 AM
Very sorry about your mom. Seeing the decline is the most painful part of it. I'm now one year younger than my mom was when she died, which is a strange feeling.
I just celebrated my 21st Blogiversary, too! We were just days apart, and I believe you were my very first blog connection. (I can't even remember HOW!) Lol Congratulations! I don't blog nearly as often, either, but I'm still very glad to have it.
Posted by: Tonya | March 10, 2025 at 06:58 PM